Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

About 2 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend for obvious reasons: we hardly did anything together, and if we did, I usually had to plan it; I did alot of things for him and he didn't do much for me; we didn't have many common interests anymore. Now, we are both fine and cool with the break up, but I feel like I hate him. In the beginning, I made a huge effort to stay friends with him, but he hasn't put in too much effort to keep the friendship going. We have the same group of friends so we see each other alot. I don't pay him as much attention anymore, but I don't like hanging out with my friends now that he's always there. Should I leave the friends I like in the group and find new ones?

You should probably examine your anger here, what is it you're angry about?

Different people handle/respond differently to break ups. Some people can (and need) to be 'friends', while others can't (or won't). It sounds like your expectations and needs here are different than your b/f (and different than you thought it would be). But, if your relationship is over, neither of you has a commitment to the other, nor do either of you have to be 'friends' with the other. And, you have to accept that, even if it's different than your needs, wants or expectations. Over means over, and as long as he's not being mean or degrading to you, he can relate anyway he wants.

Take some time here to get over the loss...even when people agree to end things, and even when it's a good thing, there's still that sense of loss. But, don't confuse that with either the expectation that he 'should' behave differently for you, nor that your judgement in letting go was erroneous. The sense of loss just comes from losing what you had, and what you hoped it would be.

Dont leave friends because of an ex boyfriend , that its a mistake , unless you dont think they are enough important to you . I mean , thats how you see a person growing up , this is completly normal . find the better way to deal with it , dont run.

Don't leave your friends because of your ex. You shouldn't have to do things like that and if you do, you'll regret it a lot. Just because he's in your group, doesn't mean you can't hang out with them. If he's there, you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. They're your friends too and you shouldn't be made to feel displaced if one of them is your ex.

Why don't you like hanging out with them if he's there?

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You don't have to leave the group of friends you usually hang out with just because of him. Don't show him your lack of communication is bothering you too much, don't give him any special attention and just keep talking to other firends you have on the group.
If he's not interstend in a relationship with you shouldn't bother at all.

If it's as easy as you make it sound, why not?

i also felt like that when i broke up with my ex. its like you hate them so much but after some months i found out that he still had a hold over me but he wasnt worth it. i guess if you let go of your friends you will be sort of admitting he has defeated you and i am sure you dont want to give him that kind of pleasure. but if you really feel that you dont wanna hang out with that group then i guess sometimes you habve to follow your heart but never ever follow your mind.