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I really dont know what to do at the moment, and i hope i put this in the right catagory .
So i have a boyfriend, we've been going out for 8 months now and I love him more than anything. We've said it to each other, only recently. We both agree that 'i love you' means a lot. He is perfect for me and i could honestly spend my life with him, or at least part of me could.
So thats the problem, other guys like me too. One guy is now dating one of my oldest friends (we've known each other forever) and the other one still wants me. I think I like him too. And I hate myself for it. At a party on saturday, we kissed in his car, very briefly. After a LOT of persuasion from him. I liked it but it made everything worse after. I know he's not good for me, when he first started to show interest in me, i started to self harm because i couldnt take it. I liked then and i still do. Now I've started to self harm again and i feel guilty all the time.
I don't know much about your basic information such as age, and what not. And that is what usually informs my thoughts on comments such as "spend the rest of my life with him".
However, you have said that your boyfriend is perfect for you and that both of you have just taken it to a more serious level (with the exchanges and realization of "I love you").
I would suggest not hanging around the other guy, and going so far as to cut him out. If you want a healthy relationship that you believe to be good for you, then it seems that is the logical conclusion.
Because as it stands, if you continue to hang out with this other guy, and if he was able to persuade you to let him kiss you, imagine what else his persuasion could bring. Also, that being around this 'other guy' is causing you to self-harm. So, it seems that cutting him out is the best solution.
However, there is still the issue of you kissing another man. Part of me thinks you should come clean with your boyfriend about it. As I put a lot of stock into trust and such. However, I also know how devastating such a revelation can be. So, I will simply say, use your judgement there. But remember how important trust is in a relationship.
I really want to cut the other guy out, but recently we've become really close friends, i don't know if thats his 'angle', but he's told me some very intimite things about himself. Things he has never told anyone else, i believe him, it would be a awkward thing to talk about to anyone. So i still want to be friends with him, he's just too persistant. He does know more about me than anyone else and i dont want to loose that.
He wasn't the only cause for the self-harm and he was the only one who has noticed it so far.
So i have a boyfriend, we've been going out for 8 months now and I love him more than anything.
Really?
People who feel that way typically don't smooch with other guys (and then blame them!), nor do they find themselves attracted romantically to other guys, either. I think what's happening here is either you're attracted to the 'excitement'..or you still need adolescent amounts of attention, and one source (your b/f) isn't enough. Maybe you 'love' him, (that's the easy part) but that other part of you isn't quite ready for the 'You' part..the part that commits exclusively. You're still in the 'I' part....and you like the "love'. That's fine, at 17.
What to do? Either explore that other part of yourself that still needs the excitement and attention..indulge the 'I' and the 'Love' part...or explore the 'You' part with your b/f. With time and some more experience, you might be able to determine what your real needs are right now.
I don't know much about your basic information such as age, and what not. And that is what usually informs my thoughts on comments such as "spend the rest of my life with him".
However, you have said that your boyfriend is perfect for you and that both of you have just taken it to a more serious level (with the exchanges and realization of "I love you").
I would suggest not hanging around the other guy, and going so far as to cut him out. If you want a healthy relationship that you believe to be good for you, then it seems that is the logical conclusion.
Because as it stands, if you continue to hang out with this other guy, and if he was able to persuade you to let him kiss you, imagine what else his persuasion could bring. Also, that being around this 'other guy' is causing you to self-harm. So, it seems that cutting him out is the best solution.
However, there is still the issue of you kissing another man. Part of me thinks you should come clean with your boyfriend about it. As I put a lot of stock into trust and such. However, I also know how devastating such a revelation can be. So, I will simply say, use your judgement there. But remember how important trust is in a relationship.
i agree
also if you love your bf so much, than it shouldnt be easey to "persuade you" to do anything. im sure you've heard of that word called "no" before right?
If you're able to cheat on your boyfriend, you don't love him.
If you even have to ask which one you should choose, you definitely don't love your boyfriend.
What you SHOULD choose to do is break up with your boyfriend and allow him to find someone worthy of his time and feelings, and just don't date either of them OR string them along.
If you have feelings for both of them, dating either of them will just make you wonder what would happen if you chose the other, and you're going to make an even bigger mess.
I really want to cut the other guy out, but recently we've become really close friends, i don't know if thats his 'angle', but he's told me some very intimite things about himself. Things he has never told anyone else, i believe him, it would be a awkward thing to talk about to anyone. So i still want to be friends with him, he's just too persistant. He does know more about me than anyone else and i dont want to loose that.
He wasn't the only cause for the self-harm and he was the only one who has noticed it so far.
Also, i dont think I'm exactly normal.
Close friends or not, you need to get your priorities in order. A friendship in which the other person is persistent in being physical with you, versus a boyfriend who you say you 'love'.
It stands to reason, that the course of action is obviously necessary, if you really love and see a future with your boyfriend.
Sometimes, we have to cut people out of our lives, even if they're extremely close to us. We do so because it is the best thing for us to do for ourselves and for our relationships.
And if you still don't want to end that friendship, then my suggestion is come clean with your boyfriend and even break up with him, for his sake. Because, cheating once, as reprehensible as it is forgivable, but continually cheating... Well, your boyfriend deserves better if that is to be the case.
Today's Toppers
Who should i choose?
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