Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

This afternoon, me and a female friend were hanging out. Nothing's out of the ordinary.
Then she asked me how she looked, because she had a new outfit on. I, of course said great (I kind of have feelings for her, but she's not single).
Because I'd complimented her, and her day had been crappy overall, she gave me a hug, which ended up turning into a kiss. Anyway, she was obviously super-horny, so we messed around at 3rd base for 2 hours.

Of course, I ended up leaving soon after, just because of how awkward it was afterwards. Now I'm really thinking that I may have alienated her, and I'm wondering how best to try and make things normal again?

Wow, this is tough I am sure your relationship is going to change and it is not going to be normal again. But you can either try to stay friends, and keep the relationship platonic, or go for it, maybe she will leave her boyfriend for you.

Well, that's the thing: she really likes her boyfriend, and I couldn't make her unhappy, so I was going for platonic again. Problem is, I don't have a clue as to making things less awkward.

Once out, the toothpaste doesn't easily return to the tube...

This is the new 'normal' for you guys, so the best thing to do is accept what happened, and talk with her about it..and what it means for you both moving forward.

Alrighty... I suppose tommorow would be too soon.

As I like to say, "What happened happened, and couldn't have any other way."

You have to do this when you're comfortable..but if you;re uncomfortable addressing this tomorrow (as you say), then what you;re also saying is that you;re not totally comfortable with what happened. Now, we don't know about her reaction, but if it;s like yours (and even if it's not and you;re the only one feeling this), then the longer you wait, the harder it will be. Hard toothpaste is especially difficult to get back into the tube!.

Also, that last bit there, about it happening and therefore it couldn't have any other way is a bit naive, yes? What happened with you was unplanned and impulsive, which means that it wasn't too well thought out (another reason you're having some probs with it the day after). By thinking about things beyond the moment (and urge), you often avoid the kind of angst you're now experiencing.

"I think therefore I am".

So I'll talk to her today, I suppose.

I also don't understand how that expression is naive. I'm really just saying that it happened because it was fate.

Well, if she has a boyfriend, be platonic and platonic only.
She cheated on him with you, and I think she needs to stop the cheating and preferably tell her boyfriend about it. No excuses for being a cheat.
You're also in the wrong, it's like being an accessory to the crime.

Tell her you're sorry for doing those things with her and just want a friendship, with no benefits.

C'mon.....

It happened b/c of impulse. That's not 'Fate', it's a lack of control or will power or *Whatever*. And that may or not be OK (That's for you to decide), but saying it was somehow 'Fate' suggests you don't have reason or control. That's only not accurate, it's a little bit scary, b/c it also suggests that you do things without any thought at all..and then chalk it up to 'Fate' or some other fairy...which absolves you of any responsibility at all of the consequence. That could be very risky!

Well, I talked to her today. Here's how it went:
Me: Hey... can I uh, talk to you about... well, you know?
Her: Sure.
Me: Well, about what happened... I, or rather, we, shouldn't have done it, and I think we both know that it was a mistake now...
Her: Well, I wouldn't say 'mistake', but we defintely shouldn't have, it risked too much. I mean, I feel guilty for cheating and for coming on to you like that...
Me: Well, uh, I agree, but don't blame yourself! It's really my fault for giving in to you so easily... and I'm sorry.
Her: Do you really forgive me?
Me: Yes, but I don't think I have anything to forgive you for.
Her: Well, I've been kicking myself for doing that; risking our friendship, using you as an outlet for my horniness, and cheating with you. So, I know we can't take what we did back... but...
Me: ...You wanna just try and be friends, and nothing more?.
Her: I really do. I just want to forget what happened, and just try to put things back like they were.
Me: Alright. Cool. So, start over?
Her: Yeah!