Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

ive been with this girl for over 2 years now were both seniors and are practically attached at the hip at all times a while back i got up enough nerve to propose to her she accepted. But here is the thing and something that has always bothered me and something i feel uncomfortable talking about especially with very opinionated people. here it is....i am a very clean cut kind of guy i have never done anything bad never had a "wild" stage and was raised that way and i sure as hell prosper to be like that and stay that way i have very high morals and values ive put on myself and i most definitly havent used drugs, smoked, or drank....but i am not a virgin...see i was a virgin before i met my fiance and she was not she had been with two other guys before me AT THE AGE OF 15!!! and even though she may say "she doest remember" it still troubles me that she has had these feelings for other "boys" because i stupidely read a diary entry one day i suppose she wrote something about "her first love" keep in mind she has gotten over him or so she says. i am just so troubled by it he used to beat her he used to do horrible things to her until i stepped in and its like she forgot it ever happened all those nights i sat on the phone trying to calm her down after he did what he did she doesnt recollect it. but the bottem line is that we are getting married in June and i am still bothered by the other two guys i dont know is that wrong of me??? is that normal and how exactly am i suppose to break away from it... she went through a wild stage trying drugs, sigs, bad stuff in general, idk. see it took me forever to get her to stop talking to him but i did because it really made me insecure even though i shouldnt be but it just really hurts me when she used to talk to him i even had problems with her having him on facebook and things... with reason though i just dont understand what im suppose to do i dont know how to get my mind of it sometimes am i wrong to be paranoid about these sorts of things keep in mind there is a whole big long lots of other things she has done to arose suspicion but i know for certain she isnt even talked to him in maybe a couple months. i have a high value on virginity and i assume you wouldnt find too many girls nowadays whom are virgins with the way society ahs become so self obsessed with sex. losing my virginity was propabably a huge thing for me and its something i can never take backand it troubles me so much that she has been with other people and had this "wild" stage. personally i dont think i could date another woman because i feel "tainted" because im not a virgin it troubles me i guess. anyway were getting married in June i know with all of this it sounds wrong but in the end it will work it out it always has i just worry alot i guess. Hell shes even wanting to have kids soon to.

You're being paranoid, just relax and have more trust in her. Also let the past be the past, let the future and the now be what you want and have rather than having regrets.

This is not the best way to start a marriage.

You have to accept that your partner is a separate person, she had a life before she met you. And regardless of your opinion of that life or some of the decisions that were made, you simply must accept it. You cannot change someone's history, it's just there, and it is a part of them. If you cannot, then I'd strongly encourage you to find a like minded individual to help you sort this out. Otherwise, I fear it will interfere almost immediately in your life together.

Our values and morals and ideals should guide us thru life, they should provide touchstones and reminders on what is important to us to help guide us thru life and help us defines ourselves. They should not be so rigid and inflexible as to imitate a strait jacket, and most assuredly, they should not be imposed on others.

All i know is that you need to talk to her and sort it out before you get married!(: xx