Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

I know the whole story. How he spended a month with her. They had long phone calls, walks in the park. He told her he loved her. Then he tells her on FB IM that he found someone else and she went depression.
Then 2 months later she meets me, we connect and then fall in love with her. Just today she told me
"Cause I wish all the time things worked out with __ My heart hurts when I see him. I think all the time about what I did wrong and I wish i could have changed it"
She still cares for him and would take him back.. She told me she loves me but I dont know..I love her so much.. Ive poured my heart out for her..I just dont know why...?
Then ask my friends, and they ALL wonder why she even liked him. He's an A-h0le. One of my friends even saw him calling his gf an A-H0le in the hallway. Does she want that? All her friends wonder what's so special about him? While Im just sitting here doubting myself all confused..
And this is her first relationship.
And earlier about last week she told me she kinda had a crush on another guy but she said its dissolved now.
Gosh, Im so lost..

Tell her that you fell like you arnt getting enough attention,ect..Just let her know what you think is happening.

Im getting attention lol. But knowing she wishes to be with him..just hurts..

From what I get, it's her first relationship, it's quite natural for it to have a significant impact on her. You never forget your first love. I think what you guys need is time. You've only been going for 2 months. It sounds to me that she's clearly distracted. You guys should talk. Tell her that you are getting worried about your relationship and tell her you need to know where she stands right now. If she's too stressed, I'd recommend a break. Just some time apart. It could help the both of you. This type of stuff cannot be rushed through or dealt with immediately.

And tell her how your friends saw him treat his girl, tell her that the two of them broke up for a reason, if she feels the need to be with him again strongly, she has to be straight with you.

When you have your first crush, and all gets messed up and i doesn't work out. You do look back and sorta wonder. Yet no matter what you do, you will never really forget any of it.

But like what is said above, time will solve the problem.
Talk to her about it, talking about stuff always helps the situation, lack communication is what breaks down relationships, and great communication is what builds them up.

Forgive the crappy grammar!
"The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large. " - Confucius
"The guy in the back always has something to say"

It doesn't sound as if she's going remain with you for long. Her emotions are all messed up at the moment and this could make for one difficult relationship. What happens if she cheats on you?

I would recommend ending the relationship until she's got things under control. Alternatively have a big chat with her and see if you can resolve the issue that way.

She can't possibly "love" you if she "loves" someone else; you need to give her time to work things out.

There ya go!

"Firsts" have an outsized impact b/c they're firsts...there's no frame of reference or context to put all the feelings into. So, they stand by themselves..outsized. Remember how intensely you felt about thunderstorms in the middle of the night?

It takes time to get over a relationship (esp. a first one), usually the old feelings are replaced by new ones...esp. if the new ones are brought about by someone who frankly sounds much nicer than the first one. However, you might not want to wait around.

Try telling her you don't appreciate the constant reference to someone who's no longer in her life, and see if she can't at least refrain from saying this stuff to you.

Thanks! We talked about it and she is slowly realizing that she would rather be with me. [: