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Relationships, Dating and CrushesDating and relationships forum. Seek dating advice, relationship advice and chat about your crushes on our message boards.
My boyfriend and I got into a fight a couple weeks ago which resulted in him kicking me out, me leaving, and going to my friends house for about 5 hours.
I ended up calling him to see if he wanted me to come back or not (because if I would have left for good, I wouldn't have had a way back to his house). He said he wanted me to come back. My friend and I walked 2 miles in the snow so I could get home.
I got here and he asked me what I did while I was gone. I told him the truth; played CoD, smoked a bowl, and then walked back.
He seemed to believe me at the time but for the past 5 days we've been fighting because he thinks I cheated while I was gone, which I didn't. He's been accusing me of lying and I don't blame him because I have lied to him in the past so he doesn't believe me, even though I'm telling him the truth. He said he just can't get the thought out of his head and no matter how much he wants to believe me, he just can't.
What can I say to make him believe me? I don't want our relationship to end because of something that didn't even happen.
Unfortunately you HAVE lied to him in the past so he has every reason not to believe you.
When things pile on top of each other like that(your lying, then the fight and you going to where he can't see for himself what you're doing etc) it gets harder and harder to work through them.
Perhaps instead of trying to "make him believe you"(nothing you say will magically make that happen, believe me) you should sit him down and discuss your problems from the beginning(your first lie) and explain to him that you know it was wrong of you to do it but that you learned from it. As well, tell him that you both probably took the wrong approach to this fight.Kicking each other out/walking away angry doesn't solve things.
Talking about it does.
Although you do have to consider that maybe your relationship is just plain moving too quickly. You said yourself in another thread that you pretty much lived together since you met(only a few months ago) so you never really had that period of time where you're dating, but you have lots of time apart and such too because you're not living together. That's the period of time where you start scoping out each other's flaws and decide whether you'd be able to live with them or how you would compromise to be able to live with each other's flaws. When you just jump into a living arrangement, you can often times become overwhelmed.
You may not know it, but when a relationship moves too quickly, it can cause a whole lot of problems that usually otherwise aren't there because they haven't had enough time as a couple to figure out the best way to work out those problems.
First off, lieing to eachother ain't good. In a relationship, you have to tell the truth at all times as it is where you
have trust. What kind of lies did you tell him in the past for him not to believe you that you didn't cheat on him? You must of lied about something similar or something?
I am not being rude or anything I am just here to give you advice and help.
Your best of talking to eachother as communication is the best way in a relationship. Communication helps a lot when you have a small cut and what I mean about small cut is what you and your bofriend keep fighting about.
For your boyfriend, if he really loves you and care about you, he would at least believe you that you were with a friend and not cheating unless you cheated on him before in the past. I recommand you take some time to think about the situation and apologize about what ever you did in the past, then he might give you a chance and believe you in the future.
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we always told the truth to each other as it proves to us that we love each other and care about each other. We do have fights but we solve it with communication as communication is the key of life.
I lied to him about talking to another guy; a guy who lives in a different state. That's the reason he kicked me out in the first place.
I don't blame him for not believing me either because as I said, he has every reason not to. But it just hurts knowing that i'm telling him the complete truth and he still doesn't believe me.
And no I never cheated on him and he never cheated either.
Well, I say give it another week then try to talk to him calmly about it.
Also what Cutiex said, she basically took the words right out of my mouth.
Also, I would stop talking to that guy if I were you. Just to show he means nothing.
Shout, Shout, Let it all Out, These are the Things I Can do Without You Shouldn't Have to Jump for Joy, You Shouldn't Have to Shout for Joy
They Give You Life and in Return You Gave 'em Hell As Cold as Ice - No Bitch, You're Ice Ice Baby I Hope We Live to Tell the Tale, I Hope We Live to Shout the Tale
Will You Never Shout? And When You've Taken Down Your Guard... If I Could Change Your Mind, I'd Really Love to Break Your Heart! Come On Let Me Shout Shout Let Me, Come On Let Me Shout Shout!
Okay. Well the best you can do is talk to your boyfriend about who you were talking to.
As long as you didn't flirt with this guy.
Your boyfriend should let you talk to whoever you want as maybe he talks to other girls. You have the right to have friends.
Trust is something which can takes years to develop, but seconds to destroy. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait this one out and not do anything that could be seen as suspicious; your boyfriend needs time to build up that trust in you again.
Wait, isn't this the guy you claimed you're going to marry?
And already you're having trust issues and have the need to flirt with other guys?
-facepalm-
Everybody makes mistakes. I didn't post this to be judged. I posted this to get advice.
I'm not saying what I did was right and I don't feel the need to flirt. I made a MISTAKE.
And for the record, I am going to marry him.