Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Hello everyone.
I'm in some kind of trouble I guess? And some advice would really help me.

I'm a girl, I recently turned 18. I have an internet friend, girl also, she's 1 year older than me, we have been very close for a long time. Let's call her V. Last summer, I invited her over (she lives in a different country, she staid 4 days at my place) and it was weird because we were both shy but still managed to have some laughs and talk a bit.
Over this year, I've grown very attached to her. She tells me everything, and it's reciprocal. We have a friend in common though, another girl who is also one year older than me, that we acquainted about 6 or 5 months ago : she shares the same interests as us. Let's call her J.

I'm gonna try to explain this as simple and fast as I can.
Us three have Tumblrs. Recently, I had noticed V posting pictures that were somewhat related to either feminine friendship, either lesbian ones. I was okay with it, we are all very open-minded. With time, I started posting them myself, because somewhat I felt these posts were meaning something. So I thought she was maybe feeling some other things for me... and I kind of started developping a crush myself.

Some days ago, I ask her what she's going to do with her summer. She answers she decided to go to Sweden. The country where J lives. And I ask her if they're meeting. She answers yes. And then she develops, explaining that she feels something for her, more than friendship. It was my birth day when she told me this over msn, where we usually speak.

I asked her if it was reciprocal, and she said 'yes'.

I started trembling all over, my stomach started to squeeze and my heart was racing. I was so ashamed, angry and feeling betrayed. I couldn't cry yet because I didn't want to get my mom worried. So I went to the shower, and cried a river in it, I practically puked my breakfast. I also felt so betrayed... I've never felt this for a girl, but I guess that doesn't matter.

These last few days have been an inferno for me. I can barely sit as much time as I'm used to in front of the computer, I sometimes want to leave msn forever, likewise for Tumblr.

V knows I don't approve of this, and she was very sad when learning it because she says I'm like one of her best friends on here, that I helped her a lot through hard times. And that she's sorry. And that she'd be sad if I just lost contact with her.

Truth is, I can't do that either. But everytime I go to Tumblr, I notice the littlest things... J and V 'liking' all eachother's posts... I can't bear it. I'm burning of jealousy for nothing, I'm so ashamed and frustrated. I want V to know how hurt I am but on the other hand I don't wanna look like the martyr, like the mean person who says 'me or her'.

I'm lost..

I guess you could say I have the same problem. My best friend is dating the girl that I've had feelings for for at least the last 4 years. And it's been getting worse these past couple of days. Last night I just felt so hopeless, and I started crying because I wouldn't be able to show this girl the feelings that I have for her. And when I woke up this morning, I had so much anxiety and I was so nervous that I threw up.

I guess the one thing you have to do is get your mind off of her. Learn how to play an instrument; write some poetry; do something that will either allow you to vent your emotions creatively or that takes your mind off of these negative feelings.

I wouldn't imagine myself in a situation similiar to your's . yes its complicated .. but ask yourself this : are you happy? how long you wanna stay like that? .. whats more important in the end?

Cauze yu se.. we only live one's so...battle you battles and try to achieve .. if you think its worth it..if not u need to let i go.

I think taking a break is the best option. Tell V why you're taking a break and set a date when you'll come back to MSN and Tumblr. Just take the time to move on. It doesn't have to be for half a year. Just give yourself a week or more to focus your mind on other things that interest you. This could be anything. If you need something to do, just sit outside with a pencil and a piece of paper and draw. Occupy yourself.

It won't be easy, that's the unfair part. But you'll move on eventually if you take the time to. Then, you can return to MSN and Tumblr and be a great friend to V and J. Just give it time.

I've been wanting to delete this post because minutes after doing it, we started talking on msn. I told her how I felt and everything... It kind of went well, she really made me feel at ease again. I just hope this stupid jealousy will stop.

Thank you for your answers... They do make me think.