Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

I am really shy around people I dont know. I have no problem talking to people I dont know, but I have a lack of confidence from always being picked on. I want to talk to girls, but they avoid me because they think im weird because i get nervous round them because I dont know how to act. I have plenty of friends that i have no problem around, but I dont know how to talk to a girl and get her to not immediately reject me because im not hot or a jock or whatever. Im in 11th grade and only really talk to girls if spoken to first because im very self-conscious for always being picked on for being "fat". If somebody could give me some advice, I would love it.

Try talking to them online first like facebook or something to give them a chance to see you personality

Yeah. When I talk to girls, they are normally friendly, but then it becomes awkward and we dont talk again because I dont know what to say or anything or im too shy to approach them again. I dont have a facebook, just my band The Mugshots have a facebook, but I guess it would be a good idea to get one.

You said ,,I have a lack of confidence from always being picked on" - and that's your problem. The thing is that you should accept yourself and stop thinking about people laughing at you, picking you on or whatever. If you don't feel confident, there must be a reason (you said ,,im very self-conscious for always being picked on for being "fat". ), so why don't you try to change your appearance? It's not that hard to lose on weigh or something, and it can help. Well, if you don't know, how to talk to girls, I will tell you - normally! Girls are not strange or dangerous and don't want to talk only to ,,hot" guys, come on. You just surrender at the beginning and keep thinking ,,I'm fat, she's not gonna like me" and that's why you get nervous. Somebody told you to try to communicate to girls on facebook and I think it's a good idea for the beginning. Show your personality and learn what to say, then it will be easier for you to talk to girls in reality.

Sorry for the mistakes and the chaotic character of my pronouncement, but I'm from Poland and just trying to pick up the language.

The best advice for these types of things is to be yourself. If you have to pretend to be someone else to impress a girl then the girl is not the one for you.

Relax and take deep breaths, a girl should like you for the way you are not the way you look.

How to talk to girls?

Be yourself!

Obviously try and talk to individuals away from the massive groups. Just start with something simple like 'Hey, how are you?' or similiar, find common ground like an intrerest for example to bond more with them. Ask questions about them (their opinion on a particular topic maybe) because they like it when you show interest in them (but don't go over the top either). Just act as casually and naturally as you can. I hope this helps

Yeah, but that's just it, its easier said than done, because most people that know who I am think I'm cold or mean or something because im so shy, and that's not the case at all. And then, when im in a group of people I know but really dont know (if that makes sense, like band class) I act pretty stupid for some reason and everyone thinks im dumb. Its like I kick myself in the ass. But this year i feel like im coming more into my own then ever before and I fell this will be the year to try things out.

Do you have any noteworthy hobbies or interests, such as playing guitar or painting? You're more likely to find a decent girl if you're in an area where everyone has a common interest (so, for example, an after-school painting club). It may not help too well with being confident, but you should feel a little more at ease in regards to what you can say since you both have something in common.

As for actually approaching girls; it's a little difficult at first but you'll soon get the hang of it I'd imagine. You need to start off small really - if you take a bus to school then you could ask a girl for the time (make sure you don't have a watch/phone out!) as you wait; it's simple, it's easy, and it just helps develop confidence in approaching.

Well personally, I'm crap with people but I find it easier to talk to girls when I'm thrown into a situation and forced to talk, like on camps or school trips especially when you're alone with a girl (maybe waiting for other people to arrive). I know this might not help but still, I get that because a lot of people at my school think of me as emotionless and empty. To shake off that cold impression you give people, be light-hearted about things, make a joke and show them that you're actually a nice guy who's just a bit self-conscious. I get kinda paranoid about things going wrong so I never compete in front of girls or take risks but really, it's just a matter of being sociable but not going over the top because that's when embarrassing incidents are likely to happen.