Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Superficial dating really pisses me off to be honest.
I have had 2 girlfriends in the past, both of which have been... disastrous.
My problem is, I take dating seriously, I won't go out with a person that I don't really like and know and I know that's not how it's really meant to be during teenage years, people are meant to go from person to person like rabbits but I don't understand how.
However, the vast majority of people seem to think that if they go out with a person for more than 2 months it's a long term relationship, no, it's not. Why would people go out with a person if they're just going to dump them after a couple of weeks seriously? It ruins me.
In my experience, the girls that have broken up with me have been through no fault of my own, the first one (though I understand it from her because she's a psycho) is because she was bored at the time, and the second one I'm still not totally sure why. But what these people don't understand is that getting dumped for me feels like a failure and it ruins me for a period of time, people don't understand why I'm upset because it was only a teenage romance but I take these things seriously and I try to make sure that they do also.
Also, every time it happens, it ruins my ability to give a fuck about anyone else, I just expect to be walked all over by people now, I don't let people close to me because I know what people do. Freudian defence mechanisms rule.
These women are the reason I'm going to become a bitter, cynical, lonely old man. Time to wait for the next woman to take advantage of me.

Thanks for sharing

i think that , THe point is Not to let them take advantage of you , its up to you really ... You give them the right to do so ...

How? In any way, shape, or form did I let them apart from trusting them? But is that not what you're meant to do with people?

You do learn from your Mistakes , You gave them the right to Take advantage of you because indeed you did trust the wrong person , so next time you will have the experience ... Yes you did make a mistake , You did admit it! time to prove them that you now Know how to deal with girls like them...

All you gain is Experience ! ... Next time you wont trust the wrong person and the person wont take advantage of you ... unless you give them the right again

I agree you are allowing these "superficial girls" aka typically teenagers to take advantage of your ideals.
Maybe you should just not date, focus on yourself, and the RIGHT one will come along when you least expect it. (Best advice I ever took from myself)

You and me are in the exact same boat... It sucks, mate. However, like Rae Rae noted, love comes in the most unexpected of places. Don't let these bitches bring you down.

Further, don't let said bitches turn you too cynical.They didn't affect your life in a good way, why let them change how you act and who you are?

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

I agree with you for the most part. I have a slightly different view of things (a little more depression of a view) But the core of it is a lot of the same. At least If I understood you correctly.

I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and Bi-Polar and I'm currently on 40mg Fluoxetine.

I agree. That's one reason I also don't get close to anyone.
Teenagers are just fickle, I swear (well, not all but you know).

Needless to say, i haven't dated anyone because I already know those types of guys.
Oh yes, bully me my whole life, ignore me the rest of the time but as soon as I show up looking like the hottest damn thing you've ever seen - oh then you fall all over yourselves just to talk to me. Then as soon as i dress the way I normally do you act all disappointed and go back to either bullying me or ignoring me.
Oh yeah, now that's a guy I'm totally going to want.

And that was the reason I never dated, I already knew what those types of guys were like.

So unless I find someone older or mature (or better yet, both) then i guess I wont be dating. I want to find someone worth while. One of my coworkers gave me this advice:
- Have a list
- If they don't match up with the list, don't fucking bother with them
Why did she say this? Because she didn't listen to her list and now she's living with a deadbeat, no job, lazy, temperamental, doesn't even have a car, leech of a boyfriend.

So that is why I never go against the list. The list is powerful. That's also why I don't date superficially. If I'm going along with my list, then I'll want to marry you after two days anyway so why have the heartbreak if it's not going to be a real relationship?
Why would I get with someone just for the hell of it. Why am I, a hot potato that people toss around to each other until I cool down but by that time I'm already soiled by the hands of others?
No thank you, I am not a hot potato. For those who don't know, Hot Potato is a game not played with an actual potato.


Okay so, I say hold off on dating until you're a bit older if you want something serious. I doubt you'll ever find a girl these days with an attention span long enough to focus on you for a day before looking for something... newer.

And if it makes you feel any better... I'm probably going to be a bitter, cynical, old woman who lives with a bunch of dogs and will get constantly harassed by the health department or animal control for having too many.

Or you could just state upfront you're only into serious dating. There's no harm in going out on dates with people, just let them know, casually, you're only interested in serious relationships.

I've got MDD too. I can't take any meds for it though. At least you believe that dating in a nonsuperficial manner is worth it. I'm not convinced it is.