Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Hi everyone! I'm new here and this is my first post. So This is my question can anyone help me out?
Ok so this is a long story and I’m sorry about that, but here I go. I have known this girl since 3rd grade. We were friends through 8th grade. (Not like best friends, but we were always friendly and I was over her house a couple of times). Now at the end of 8th grade I developed a crush on her and I told her at the end of the year I thought she was pretty, but nothing every really happened after that. She still liked me as a friend and I figured that’s only what she saw in me. When I started my freshmen year in hs I only saw her a couple of times (once at her house) because we go to different schools. I tried to move on because I figured my chances were up, but I couldn't. I don't like the girls in my school (they are really nice, but not my type) and my mind always kept wandering back to her. I found that I really am in love with her.
Now, my brother and her sister are Friends and I have seen this girl since freshmen year (Im a Jr) because of my brother and her sister getting together. I even tried inviting her over from time to time, just to hang out nothing special, but it never works out. She is always busy. Ironically I only see her when my brother has her sister over.( Don't get me wrong this past summer she came over my house numerous times when her sister was picked up, but it never worked out that she could come over to hang out.) She was always friendly to me and never ignored me in anyway.
Here is where it all begins. I never asked her out nor told her I liked her(I think she knows though) because I felt it would be weird to ask her since I only see her from time to time and we go to different schools. Most of all want to be her friend and I don't want her to think I am only after her just so she will date me. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and that's why I have never been really pushy around her nor do I text her or Facebook chat her, because I don't want to give her that impression. But this august I just found out that my one friend texted her or Facebook chatted her about me liking her.
Now, I got upset because I didn't want her to think that I put my friend up to this and I don't want her to think that he is asking her out for me. I didn’t even know it happened. I waited weeks and weeks to tell her that, if she came by when my brother had her sister over. And this is the two scenarios that would happened; One, I would see her, but everyone would be around (family) and so I couldn't ask her about the message. Or, two I never saw her.
So a week ago I sent her a message on Facebook explaining all this. I told her I didn't want to do this on Facebook and how I had no clue that my friend told her that I liked her. I told her most of all want to be her friend and I even said that I like her, but I said I only wanted to tell her much much later when she got to know the more confident High School version of me(instead of the 8th grader she knew). I told her everything I am telling you guys and it was a long message, I even said sorry for it. Most of all I said I would never try to make her feel awkward by asking her out and I still want to be her friend.
So I waited a week for a reply and nothing. One night I saw she was on Facebook and I sent her an IM. I kept it very short. I said "I hope my message did not cause you any trouble and are we still friends?" No response, then I waited like 10 minutes and said "u there?". No response. I waited another 10min and I finally said something like "maybe ur not there, if you are i gues i embarrassed you, sorry about that. I hope i didnt ruin anything. good night." and I logged off. She was definitely on and doing things, but she ignored me. The next day I got no response. I never asked her out in my first message and I was very nice about it. I didn’t come off to strong in the old message, I only wanted to let her know that I wasn't a part of what my friend did. She was always friendly to me, but what happened now? I know in the past she has kinda gotten embarrassed when certain guys ask her out, but yet at the same time she has been asked out by soooooo many guys. In some ways I think she likes the attention, buy why ignore me? There is a lot more, but hope anyone (preferably girls) could tell me what’s going on. Thanks for reading all this. I wish I knew why she was doing this, I even dont really care aboyt being her bf anymore, I just want a friend. Thanks again. Sorry about grammar and spelling I wrote this in a hurry.

I think she likes you, and is hurt/offended that you didn't tell her yourself, which is interesting. I would keep apologizing, coming up to her at school, etc. Let her know how much you care, even if you don't like her.

Just grovel a bit, mate. Just bite the bullet and be done with it.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

Thanks! But the thing is we go to two different schools. Dont get me wrong I NEVER wanted to tell her on FB. I tried to tell her in person about what happened, but every time I saw her to many people were around. I could never get her aside. She is always so bussy and its been weeks now and I havent seen her. I just dont get why she never responded. We were never like amazing BFFs, but we were always friendly. All the time on her facebook wall guys make comments like "O ur soooo pretty" and etc. And she ALWAYS comments back like "thanks!" and "AWW!". But she never responded to my comment. I think she might be alittle embarrassed about what happened. I dont want to essage her again because I want to give her space, I dont want to seem likme a stalker or desperate. Its really complicated lol. But thanks for your advice.

If you've known her for a long time, its a little more awkward. Let her come to you, mate.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

Ok just give it time? One other thing I forgot to bring up was that I found out that she did reply back to my friend’s message. She said that she could only she us as friends. I understand that, but my whole goal to hang out with her was to show her that I have changed. She really knows the 8th grade me. Since high school we haven’t had steady contact, but I was hoping we would. Even in 8th grade she did not know the real me, but now I hope I did not lose her. I am just sorta her occasional friend she sees, but now I do not know if I am even that. With that being said I will give it time.
Thanks again. Also btw I like ou signature! As we speak I am working on a transcendentalist project for english.

Thanks. I'm into transcendentalism and modern philosophy and all that cool stuff, but HD Thereou still remains my favorite.

I would just let it go, mate. She doesn't see you in that light. It sucks, but like you said, you're in high school now. Time to put on your big boy boxers and move on.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

I just wish I could have had my moment with her. i never got to show her the real me. my issue is I understand moving on but I have no other girl to move on to. Ever since I was little I wanted to have a girlfriend and now since HS started it has escalated beyond belief. The girls at my school are really nice, but not my type. i tried to move on, but I am not drawn nor attracted to them. Now I have to wait till college to start a relationship and I really want one. I think about it every day. I just want a girl to be there for me. I feel like I can’t go on without one. But I am all alone. I really hate it. That’s why I wish Ill get my chance with her. I really do love her, but I have no one to move on to.

Hey, I can relate. I want a girlfriend too. Its rough. It really is. And sometimes, we want to settle. Don't settle. You're a junior, right? You have 2 years left to make some moves.

Move on, bro. If you can't handle a friendship with her, end all contact with her. It will be a painless mercy killing. However, before you do anything, talk to her and let her know how you feel, sans creepy love stuff.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

Thanks. I know I can be friends with her, but it is up to her now if she wants to be friends. I know I can make moves in 2 yrs, but to who? There is no one at my school and I know a person wont fal from the sky. I am so confused. But thank you for everything man. I really appreciate your advice.

Sure thing. To finish up, love comes from where we least expect it.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot