Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Hey, ok, i haven't posted on here for a while, but I have been reading posts still and coming on now and then, but atm, I just need to express how I feel and write it all out.

For over a year now, I've liked this guy, really really liked this guy, I didn't know he was a player, in fact i thought he was the complete opposite, really shy and stuff, but turns out not.

I went out with him after like 9 or 10 months of liking him, but it didn't work, it was stupid so we ended it, I tried my best, to move on but seeing him in school, I had stopped speaking to him as well, but idk I just couldn't move on and I felt awful.

Then, I thought finally, I was starting to move on, but then at the start of august just after we'd broke up for school..
I was on facebook and he popped up. Saying he still liked me, and wanted to meet up with me, I didn't believe him at all, and i was just saying, "no you don't :')" and then he asked me if i still liked him, i didn't give him a straight answer at first, but he said somebody told him i did, which i could believe cause everyone knew I did, so eventually i was just like , yeah i do. And he was saying he wanted to meet up with me and obviously i was so so happy, and we'd been texting for a like 1 week and a bit, and he was texting first and making an effort to keep the convo alive, so eventually, we met up and then we ended up going out again. It was fine really, I was happy and everything, but I heard rumours about him texting his ex with a lot of kisses, now people say that the amount of kisses don't matter, but they do To be honest- especially when its his ex who still likes him. I asked him about these rumours, he said they weren't true, so i trusted him and left it.

Then he had some family issues, and was being really off with me the last few days before we broke up, I said to myself I'd give it another week and see what happens. I knew what had happened, I had worked it out, but to this day he doesn't know i know what, as he didn't tell me, which I was hurt by as he eventually did tell his ex, but not me :( But he broke up with me anyway.

So I still wanted to be friends with him, so a week after he broke up with me, i text him and since then (2 months-ish ago) we've been texting about 2-4 times a week. He started saying he still loved me, I know he doesnt and didnt ever love me, but i thought maybe, he did like me. He said stuff, and he kept trying really hard to keep the conversation alive - more than he did when we were together and he text me first loads again which always makes me feel better. He knew i still really really liked him.

Then the other day he text me, we were having another normal conversation, and then he started talking about 'stuff'. And was basically asking me if I'd lose my virginity to him and other stuff.. I said, maybe.. probably (still not knowing he was a complete and utter player) but not at 14, and he was like what age, and I said 16 but depends on the relationship and who, and if I'm ready. He was just asking me questions about things like that which I didn't mind so yeah we just spoke about that for a few hours, he was saying i could ask him stuff, so i asked him if he'd lost his v yet, and he said no, but he wanted to badly and he was saying he wants to lose his v to me, and only me. And he was like, "aw, you know you want too " And I was like, "in the future yeah maybe but not atm ;') "

Truth is, don't judge me please, yes I want too, I like and care for him an unreal amount and I have thought and considered it since that conversation, but I know, deep down I'm not ready for it, I'm 14, and at the end of the day, there is always that chance of pregnancy, using protection or not, and I don't know what I'd do if i did, anyway I'm not going too because thats the right decision without a doubt, and thats the main point.

But anyway, so I'd seen him in school hugging a few girls, okay i admit I am jealous but I thought, hm, maybe just friends? I hoped anyway. And then I saw him holding hands and stuff with this girl, who has a bit of a reputation of being a bit .. you know, easy, and then I went out with my friend today and she is friends with some of those girls he was hugging, and she told me everything. I was so hurt, he litreally the night before, was saying he loved me, and all this, and now hes holding hands with some other girl!?
And finally everything clicked into place. Basically, he's leading on about 5 girls, me included, and he's only interested in one thing, so it makes sense as to why he's picked that particular girl who would give anything to anyone who gives her attention.

I sometimes think maybe I should just do it, because I do want too, but then i think no.
I may want too, but i'm still being pressured into really because If i do, then I think maybe he'll actually like me, but I'm not stupid, and not easy. Im too young and theres too much risk involved which many things, and he's a player so you know, just no, its not right.

Sorry for the long post, don't judge me please, I made the right decision and didn't do anything in the end, I just really needed to get all this out and yeah..

I can't believe I fell for a player. And the bad side is, I still really like him, and it's killing me not texting him, but I know, If i text him, his words will twist my mind again and again.

Well, it happens, and thats really all that I can say on falling for him. The heart wants what the heart wants. However, I don't solely believe that its his fault. You texted him again, you knew he had a reputation, you knew he hurt you, yet you still wanted to remain close to him? I don't understand why. Being a guy myself, we're manipulative and horny. An awful combination by any means. You allowed yourself to get played, and, while it sucks, this is a great lesson.

Here's the thing: You don't want to have sex for the sex, you want to have sex because it will make you feel wanted. Thats the primary difference between men and women when it comes to sex: for men, its more physical, and for women, its more emotional, as we can see right here. You played right into his hands, he lined his ducks up in a row, and you weren't the one picked to be taken home.

You are still falling for a player. This should have made you hit the ground and realize how stupid players are and that they burn you. Please, for your own good, ignore him. If he talks to you in the halls, keep conversations brief. I know how the heart works. I've been on both ends, and I know how painful it is to be hurt and how easy it is to manipulate.

EDIT: I guess I can agree with Tamara on this one about the player verbiage. However, I think he is just a flirt and you got fucked over in the process.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

You didn't really describe a "player", from my experience almost all teenage guys text and flirt with many girls at a time. He could become a "player", I suppose that depends on how much he gets laid, and how many women he is seeing at once. I think its pretty difficult to be a virgin and a player at the same time, when the beckoning definition of "player" is being in a sexual relationship with more than one women. Oh, and you are not in love, in any way, shape, or form.

I know, im so annoyed at myself. I was an idiot, I didn't know he was a player until like two days ago, and the reason I wanted to still be friends is cause yeah he hurt me by breaking up with me but he was still, just a really nice person or so and I loved talking to him and stuff.

:/

Ok, a 'player' in teenage kind of terms? o.O
There was more too it than just this, I just don't feel it's right to post it.
But yeah i just needed to get this all out :/

What this guy did was completely normal. He flirts and plays with girls minds, any girl can do the same to guys, doesn't mean he's a player. I flirt with lots of girls as well, and I throw in a bunch of sexual innuendos when texting/speaking to them because, who knows, they might and usually do respond positively to it. Doesn't mean I'm a player though. You're worrying too much about some things like the bit where he had family issues. Maybe he just felt more comfortable talking to his ex about it because he may have had these problems in the past while he was with her, and could talk to her about them.

You shouldn't have texted him after learning he had a bit of a reputation, goodluck next time

Don't be a playa hata though.










































And respect to the guy, played it relatively smooth for a guy his age.

Uncalled for. Come on, mate. Don't glorify the guy. I mean, we all do that kind of shit. Doesn't make it right.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

You are giving him to much credit, what teenage guys do are not accomplishments. Although I do not dislike what they do, because lets face it....... Its alot of fun to text guys.