Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

I've been in love with a guy for nearly three years, we've been through a lot in the past, for example, we were in a very intense relationship for a long while. However, we split up, and everything has been rocky ever since.

He told me a few weeks ago that he still likes me after all this time, but I don't think he really does and this is why:

For the past year or two, he has tried to hide the fact that we are still close in school, and normally in most public environments, but when we're in private, he brings out his affection. However, half of the time when he brings out his affection I feel that he's still using me for something, because when I see him outside of school, it's always the same routine of what we do, and I don't feel that it's right. I've tried to make it very clear to him that I don't want to keep this relationship a secret forever, because I want to be able to be who I am publically, and not have to hide constantly, but he doesn't seem to overly warm to it, which worries me.

My friends have given me suggestions on what to do, but I don't know which one sounds best: As I'm in my last year of secondary school, I'll be leaving to go to sixth form college next year, and I was thinking that maybe that's the time to no longer associate myself with him, as he will be going to a different sixth form, so we will never have to see each other again. However, I don't think I'd be able to to this because I like him too much, and I would find it very emotionally difficult to give him up.

My friends also had another idea that once I get to sixth form college, we could re-date (if we still like each other), because then I can have the relationship I want, and still do well in my A Levels, because he won't be allowed to distract me, but I don't know whether this will work because he didn't exactly warm up to the idea when I told him a little while ago :(

Can anyone help me on what I should do? Thank you. x

I think you should do what your friends said and not associate your self with him, I know its hard but its problem for the best. If it doesn't seem right to you and your not having things how you want why should you suffer for this.

Who knows you could go to a new sixth form and meet someone else who you may like and things will work out better then.

At the end of the day I think you need to sit down and thinks hat you really want, if you want a secret relationship to carry on or if you can just break way from it and start a fresh.

I think your friend is right also, about ending the relationship. If he wants to hide your relationship from people then that is not the kind of relationship you want to be in. It seems like he just doesn't want people to know that you two are together which is wrong of him.

I think you should let him know that things have changed so much and you just don't feel that what you have is much of a relationship anymore. From what i have read i just don't think (IMO) that it's worth it for you to stay with him.

Yeah, thank you for the advice guys, it's just I feel that I'll only be able to get him out of my life is when I leave for sixth form, because at the moment, I can't let go of him when I see him everday. I sometimes tell myself that I'm not going to reply to his text messages, or accept his invitation to go round his house.. but right now, I always give in

It is hard when you have to see them everyday, just try be strong and I'm sure if you decline offers to go round the house and text back eventually your get into a new pattern and not need him in your life. Its maybe for the best and will make you stronger

, just try be strong

Tell him to fuck off. I mean, i think he's playing with you at this point. He wants the affection, but none of the actual dating stuff that comes with it.

If you want to associate with him, fine. Just don't be affectionate.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

Well, if a guy doesn't want people to know about his relationship it could be because:
1) He's not proud of it.
2) He doesn't want to ruin his chances with other girls
3) He's probably cheating on you.
4) He's not serious about you.

They all pretty much sum upto the same thing and that is usually the case. It may be different in your case, but I doubt it. If a guy keeps you hanging or keeps you a secret, he's not worth being with.

this

3) He's probably cheating on you.