Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

So Ive been dating this one girl for 2 weeks now. And we text a lot because her phone plan doesnt have calls. So we compliment each other mainly through text. Im writin on my itouch right now so i apologize if i dont get thorough enough. Anyways, my main issue is I'm not sure whether or not she likes physical affection. I mean, I'm sure she does, but shes never went up to me to hold my hand, or lean against my shoulder, or something. I'd love to see that, so that I can see that she feels the same way about me. Shes probably just too shy, but I dunno. Because of this, sometimes I get shy about physical affection. I feel like it made our first kiss awkward and stuff. I've never seen her before with her past boyfriends [went to a different school], so I'm not really sure what she prefers. And shes almost always around her friends, which makes things even harder.

Help?

Try showing more physical affection and just see how she reacts.

Hey Erik,

This is not as complicated as you might think it is. You're overthinking this out of nerves.
You've been dating this girl for 2 weeks, yes? Well, just to start, 2 weeks is a very short time. There's bound to still be shyness in there, since there is still much to develop.
There is no huge problem here, just both of you holding back. It's normal, since you both are shy and insecure about how the other would react. You're both afraid to make things awkward out of showing too much affection, or too little for that matter.

The trick here is to stop overthinking. It takes some mental excercise but it's rather easy after the first steps. Since the relationship is young, you both think what the limits are. The only way to make these limits more tolerant is to surpass them. Remember that she might be wondering the exact same things. If she would make it awkward to show physical affection, if she made the kiss awkward and so on.

These are all just insecurities though. Insecurities aren't real, they're just doubts in your mind. Don't let them get in the way. Just like you don't think she's awkward, she thinks the same about you. Stop distressing so much on how you yourselves should act, and just act naturally. Go with the flow.

Touch her and check her reaction. Hugs are a good start. Tender, tight and long hugs. After that, kiss her more often, and unexpectedly. Don't be afraid to do it. It's the only way both of you will become more confortable with each other. You both want this to work, and you both want to show affection, all there is to do is to take that jump into the open.

Best of luck.

"If I do good, people might accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives, but I will still do it. Because I believe no one is malicious, not in their core, in their raw being.
The best in them is clouded by sorrows and fears, take those away and you'll bring out the brightest of lights in them.
Because no one can be happy without being kind, without giving ourselves to another, and we all love to give ourselves, it is our true nature.
That is why, even if I might get disappointed, I'll always give the best I've got. A single candle can light a thousand others and still burn." - Skezra

Girls like you to show the affection. They feel like you should be making the first move instead of them. They don't like it when you don't hold hands or hug them it makes them feel unliked and that you got them just to impress people. But if you kissed that means something.

Everybody likes physical affection (to one degree or another). But I feel that personally the more you wait and the more you over think things the worse things can get. You can both be at a movie and not even paying attention to the movie, you're both wondering why you are on the 3rd date and neither one of you has gone in for a kiss or holding hands etc etc. So why don't you just take control of the situation and get her in a place where it's easy to hold hands or better yet cuddle and make out.

I agree. Girls like it when guys make the worst move