Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

hi. I need some advice here. It's a long story. I have a best friend, and he's a guy. We've known each other since we were 9. We attended the same school and been in the same class. He's soft, kind and some times can be a little bit girly. Boys used to bully him so he's closer to the girls who don't really mix up with others like me. We've make a good partner to each other. We teased each other a lot. So after we left primary school, I decided to attend girls' high school while he attend the ordinary high school. We're separated but still keep in touch and rarely meet.


One day, he sent me a message, asking whether I already had a boyfriend or not. Of course not. I was kinda curious with his question since he knows that I'm not interested to have one. Therefore I asked him why he asked such question. Finally he admitted that he had a crush on me. Frankly I wasn't surprised cause i've know about it since we started to be best friend. I don't know why but I can sense it. He proposed me to be his girlfriend and I was shocked to hear it. I thought bout it over and over and I found that we're more suit to be just friends. So I rejected him.



He asked me to give him a chance, but I didn't feel the same way. I was upset bout it and it effected our friendship badly. I changed my phone number to avoid from him to get rid of the awkward feeling. Kinda cruel, huh? We lost contact for almost a year. Then I realized that I don't want our friendship to end up this way so I tried to contact him back. I managed to get him and he's very happy to keep in touch with me again. None of us open our mouth about the past. Everything was going smoothly until he asked me why I didn't accept his best friend as my boyfriend. His best friend was our classmate in primary school and I've heard rumors that he likes me. I thought it was only a joke so I didn't really bother bout it.


So when my best friend asked me bout it, I got irritated with him. He tried to pair me with his best friend. His best friend is a nice, intelligent and shy guy but he's not my cup of tea. I'm not a perfectionist, but I can't seemed to like him. So to cut it short, my best friend asked me who I really like and I said no one. Tough he announced me that he already had a gf but if I'm willing to accept him, he'll break up with his gf. Hahaha ~ I thought it's really funny and I know he's lying. I've asked all my friends (same school with him) and everyone said he's single. Even his cousin (same school with me) said the same thing. Again, he asked me to accept his best friend and I dumped both of them. Changed my phone number and avoid from him. This is the second time I did it.


He tried to find me, add me on fb but I ignored him. Only after a few months I accepted him as friend on fb (after he sent me a friend request twice). Now he got my new phone number and sometimes he called me. I considered he already forgotten what he'd done. But he still asked me the same question : why I didn't accept his best friend! Now, my sis (same school with him) keep on complaining bout him to me. She said every time they see each other, he will tell others that she is his sister-in-law which means i'll be his wife! That's insane. I laugh once I heard it. My sis hates him because she thinks he keep on forcing me to be his gf. Yesterday he called me, he told me that he loves to tease my sis every time he pass by her. I questioned him why he announced himself as her brother-in-law. He denied it and changed to story from being his sister-in-law to his best friend's sister-in-law. I know my sis well and she won't lie to me. What am I supposed to do with this guy and his best friend?
I desperately need some advice. Thank you.



*sorry for bad grammar.

Do you like him at all? If you don't tell him off and say that if he wants to be friends he has to stop bothering you with those question because it does get annoying. If he hasn't stopped its because he doesn't want to give up trying.

First of all, I salute you for staying true to your feelings and not subcumb to his pressure. He seems quite the immature/desperate boy.

He seems quite childish, and by the looks of it, it doesn't like it's going to change. There is not much you can do, if anything, to change him. So, you're going to have to make a choice here. To tolerate this, or not tolerate it.

You're not interested in anyone or in a relationship, which is fine. He should respect your opinion, because if he doesn't, he's not a true friend. Everytime you regain contact to him, you both seem to avoid the subject as much as possible to keep things not awkward. This is not the right atittude. Remember things are just awkward if you make them awkward.
You should not leave insecurity in the air, or leave things unsaid. Talk to him directly about it, and tell him exactly what he's doing, and how it's irritating you. Tell him how he has to stop.

From there, he will either stop or not stop. If he stops, good for you, and it's settled. If he doesn't, well, you can choose to either tolerate it forever and get used to it, or just cut contact with him completely and don't seek it ever again, when you know things won't change.

That is my advice, I hope I helped in any way.

"If I do good, people might accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives, but I will still do it. Because I believe no one is malicious, not in their core, in their raw being.
The best in them is clouded by sorrows and fears, take those away and you'll bring out the brightest of lights in them.
Because no one can be happy without being kind, without giving ourselves to another, and we all love to give ourselves, it is our true nature.
That is why, even if I might get disappointed, I'll always give the best I've got. A single candle can light a thousand others and still burn." - Skezra

no i don't like both of them. i told him so many times but it's like who cares? till now he's never giving up..

immature.. i like that word. that's what exactly i'm thinking of him. i've told him very straight-forward that i don't like what he's doing, how irritate i am with his sucks attitude. but it seems that he never changed. i'm getting tired of this.

just cut contact with him completely and don't seek it ever again, when you know things won't change.

isn't that sounds bad? i mean he's my friend and he'd a few friends. i feel pity for him.. or should i be pity for myself? i'm confused..

I don't think it sounds bad myself. Of course, it's not my place to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. It's entirely your choice. However, he seems to disturb your friendship continuously with his romantic interest in you. So, you will have to choose between cutting it off, or living an unstable friendship.
I understand that you might feel pity for him, it's only normal. But, if you cut contact with him, it was a consequence of his own action, yes? You haven't done anything.

Like I said, this is your choice. Only you know your mind and heart.

"If I do good, people might accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives, but I will still do it. Because I believe no one is malicious, not in their core, in their raw being.
The best in them is clouded by sorrows and fears, take those away and you'll bring out the brightest of lights in them.
Because no one can be happy without being kind, without giving ourselves to another, and we all love to give ourselves, it is our true nature.
That is why, even if I might get disappointed, I'll always give the best I've got. A single candle can light a thousand others and still burn." - Skezra

i've got it. perhaps it's the best way to stop him from disturbing me. thanks a lot

Best of luck.

"If I do good, people might accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives, but I will still do it. Because I believe no one is malicious, not in their core, in their raw being.
The best in them is clouded by sorrows and fears, take those away and you'll bring out the brightest of lights in them.
Because no one can be happy without being kind, without giving ourselves to another, and we all love to give ourselves, it is our true nature.
That is why, even if I might get disappointed, I'll always give the best I've got. A single candle can light a thousand others and still burn." - Skezra

I agree with @Singularis, if he's not going to stop then the friendship will likely end eventually anyway.

Yeah, you just need to do what you want to do and not be pressured into it by anyone. If he keeps treating you this way then I expect you might lose contact if that's all you're talking about now.