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Old 24-11-11, 07:50 AM   #1
 
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Name: Josh
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England - Hertfordshire - Hemel Hempstead
Posts: 914
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Default I'm weak

Basically, this girl that I've been trying to patch things up (for 5 months -___-') ...she always said things like

'Oh you don't care about anyone apart from yourself' - I can be cold sometimes, but that's just my personality, I'm not uncaring, I care a lot...more than I should sometimes.

'I'm at the bottom of the pile' - She was infact at the top for me, when my best friend had a go at her, I took her side, I always offer my help to her, she didn't accept it.

'You're a spineless cunt who doesn't make your own decisions' - Okay, sometimes she may have a point. I'm a person who just has to know other people's opinions on things. The time she usually comes up with, is in fact one of the times I went with the opposite of people's opinions.

These are the only things I can really explain right now, but yet she still claimed to 'like' me, or fancy me, what ever you want to call it.

For weeks I've been sceptical, I tried to tell her it's not working, and we should go our separate ways, but she comes out with some sob story (Which I sympathised with), but I spoke to someone. My form tutor. She recognised I've not been my usual self, and wondered what was up. So I told her, I told her everything.


She was like 'You know what Josh, sometimes you have to put yourself first, before other people'

So I broke it off with Kia.

As much as she hurts me, makes me angry. I really do like her, and I don't think I'm strong enough to stop everything with her.

At some point she will text me or something.
And I'll probably reply.
I don't want to (Or do I?)


I'm not a very ruthless person, how can I avoid the temptation?




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Old 24-11-11, 07:54 AM   #2
 
Name: Charlotte
Gender: Female
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Location: England
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Default Re: I'm weak

Hm, seems like she's got you in the palm of her hand.
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Old 24-11-11, 08:01 AM   #3
 
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Name: Annike
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Denmark
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Default Re: I'm weak

I don't think you should avoid temptation. If i was Kia, i'd rather have the truth, than that you didn't speak to me at all. I think you should tell Kia how you feel - or at least say that you don't want to stop it all, but you need a break. In some situations you just need to be strong, no matter what.

My opinion however is that I would not waste another minute on Kia if I was you. You just need someone to be supported by. Someone to make it feel less lonely - if you know what I mean? You're filling the loneliness with a wrong person.
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Old 24-11-11, 08:37 AM   #4
 
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Name: Josh
Age: 18
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Location: England - Hertfordshire - Hemel Hempstead
Posts: 914
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Default Re: I'm weak

Annike, you're completely right, I've told her how I really do like her and everything, just - It doesn't seem to be working, I mean, we argue a lot which is the only problem we have, but it's just draining me emotionally.

I'm just scared of being lonely again, and can sense I'll let her back in...




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Old 24-11-11, 01:20 PM   #5
 
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Name: Josh
Age: 18
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Location: England - Hertfordshire - Hemel Hempstead
Posts: 914
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Default Re: I'm weak

Whether or not you read this is your decision. I'm not sure why I'm messaging you, but I've just been thinking about everything all day. I know you hate my essays, but I'll try to condense it down for you. Everytime my phone goes off, to be honest. I hope it will be you, but them I get disappointed. Not that you should really text me or anything, considering.

Last week sometime, you said I'm spineless because I ask people's opinions to help me make choices about things. You know why I do it? Because times like now, I regret those decisions I make. I just wish we could fix everything in an instant, but we can't. I know you said I never seem to talk about your positives, there's two reasons for this. When we first met, you made me so confident, I could say anything I felt to you, and feel comfortable in doing so, now. I'm not confident at all, a mixture between our problems and other ones have done this. My biggest fear is your reaction, I've tested the waters with it subtlety, and I get mixed reactions, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

You said you never realise what you had until it's gone and you're right. I know you'll be thinking I'm weak for doing this, but the truth is, I am weak. Even though sometimes I do go on about how bad things can be between us. It's really nothing to how I have felt all day, maybe it'll pass in a while. I don't know.









I've sent that to her.




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