If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above.
You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.
To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
Relationships, Dating and CrushesDating and relationships forum. Seek dating advice, relationship advice and chat about your crushes on our message boards.
I want to see what everyone else has to say and see if im just being overly jealous, insecure, or blinded with love. Just for background, we are both 19 and in the same college
Long story short, about 2 and half years ago, I met a girl that made my heart drop and butterflies fly in my stomach the second she walked in. I fell head over heels for her when i saw her. No, not love at first sight, but i was definitely attracted. Me being the shy guy i am, didnt even talk to her until the 3rd or so time i saw her. Then we started texting, talking, hanging out, and it ended up in a relationship. The relationship will be 2 years in december. However at the moment we are on a break to fix things up, work on strengthening our friendship so we can farther strengthen our relationship and plan on getting back together, and plan on celebrating on our anniversary. Simplest way to put our relationship at right now is "its complicated" (sad how much facebook has worked its way into our lives lol).
We started on our break mostly because of me. I made the mistake of putting other things, mostly video games before her. We had many talks and we do communicate. However, I did end up crossing the line and hurt her and it was the last straw. Since then, we have been on a break to fix things and so i can prove myself to her.
Now amongst all of this, she has a bestfriend that happens to be a guy. She started talking to him more when i was ignoring her and they grew closer as friends (they were just acquaintances, became best friends over the summer). When she first confronted me about it she had talked about how she felt really bad too, because he was doing everything that i used to made her feel good. (mind you, this was all over skype and stuff. no touchy feely stuff) Now we are back at college and they hang out and all too.
We have worked out our problems, i have stopped ignoring her, doing little things, etc. She says im doing a lot better and i hang out with her all the time. The problem is, while shes hanging out with me she is always texting this guy. I talked to her about it and told her i didnt like it when she texted while we were doing us stuff, like a date, or going for a walk or going down to the beach or whatever. She understood said sorry and hasnt since. But she still texted him all day. She also hangs out with him which i have no problem with. Who am i to say she cant hang out with friends. She goes over to his house and hangs with him and his housemates, watches movies with him etc. He isnt usually available until late though so she usually ends up spending the night... She has said that once we were dating again that she wouldn't be staying overnight out of respect and all which i thanked her for. She did also sit me down and talk to me to admit that she did make out with him and she felt really bad for it and wanted me to know. Of course it hurt, but she seemed genuinely sorry, plus, we arent currently dating.. but are working out our relationship so i still dont know how to handle that.
She says she still loves me and wants to be with me forever, and shows it. If I want to make a plan and she had something planned with the guy she drops those plans to be with me. She still tells me that she loves me, kisses me in that loving way. But i can't help but wonder if her heart is still with me totally.
She is always texting this guy and im not one to read things because i respect privacy, but she has whipped the phone out infront of me and i have seen texts from him wiht cutie, sweetheart, etc in it. And if i pick up her phone she'll ask what I'm doing and it makes me wonder if i were to actually read the texts if i would see something that breaks my heart. She never wants me to come over to his house to hang out with him and his housemates cause she says that she wants to keep us separate. e recently came to the conclusion after i took her to see twilight, that us three's relationship is like edward, bella, and jacob's relationship. Me and him talk to each other and respect each other but dont exactly get along (and she quickly through out that there wasnt a love connection between her and the guy though). So i understand that, but when i did get invited over for thanksgiving dinner, she told me to cool it and dont be to... attached i guess, to keep it from being awkward. Which made me wonder, does she not want me over because there is something going on and she has her own little world created there that i mess up? And also, when she is with me, she is always texting him. When she is with him, i have to fight to get a text message back. She says its because she is always with me and only sees him sometimes. I understand, bit still, a text would be nice every once and awhile, is that to much?
So basically. i would like to know if im right to be worried that her heart isnt totally with me or if im being insecure and should believe her when she says she loves me, still wants to spend the rest of her life with me and that she will always be there in my life
I know how much it sucks, you can still try and tell her seriously that it's bothering you, that the txting isn't okay etc. But really think IS this the girl you want to be with, or the girl you WANTED to be with? It's really hard to let go of love when you thought you'd be with that person forever. I struggled with that with my ex but we just.. weren't supposed to be you know? there's other amazing people out there. Is she really what you want? if she was would you have easily as you did replaced her with things such as video games..? Just think hard about it. Sometimes you have to let them go even though it hurts.
You can add me if you wanna talk more. I don't mind listening.
From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.
Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3
Yes i do think she is the girl i want to be with. She is the girl that i can see myself marrying, living with forever. She still melts my heart everyday. She is everything i want, she is beautiful, smart, has a great personality. It wasnt that is was easy to replace her, it was that i took the relationship for granted, big mistake.
I honestly don't know what will happen but i think you need to talk with her and tell her she's got to maybe lessen with this other guy to protect your relationship. If she cares much she will understand and do so, to protect the relationship. If not, i just want you to remember just because it's love doesn't mean it's true forever love you know? sometimes we're meant to love and be in relationships to grow and better ourselves for the next relationship and the rest of our lives, every little thing mistakes or gains in relationships will help us better for the future, so when you do have a real marriage you've already learned a great deal. So keep that in mind. But I hope everything works out for you, and if you ever need something feel free to talk to me.
From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.
Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3
i don't know what to say but i think this girl is not longer love you like before. perhaps you need to tell him to stop texting him and you're bit jealous with him. if she loves you, she's willing to sacrifice. if she still does the same thing, it's better for you to move on. it's hard but there's no choice. you can force her, right? Good relationships don't just happen... they take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together..
It's all possible that they're just really great friends and she really means she just wants to make the most of the time she has with him because she always sees you.
I have a boy best friend and am still able to commit to my boyfriend fully too, she might just be struggling evening out the time.
Obviously, if it bothers you then keep talking to her about it and make it clear how you feel. Don't say it's him, just say that you're worried about whether or not she still loves you? Ask her? If she really does, I'm sure she'll reassure you.
On the other hand, this isn't looking that good. I don't really know what else to say because I have no experience with this really. I mean, I love my boy best friend dearly and always make time for him, it could just be like that? If not, the sooner you find out the better. I hope you sort everything out, man.
I personally think that you should talk to them about it. Maybe you can plan a time where you know that she is coming over and invite him over as well without her knowing. Try to make it like a secret thing. When they both get there you should try to be nice and speak up about the way that you feel. If they don't understand, then be nice and try to make them understand. You should also probably tell him that you two are working on your relationship and you feel like he is getting in the way of it. But just remember to respect them because if you don't respect them, you won't be respected and get what you want and things might turn out worse. I hope that things become better between you and her and i hope that I helped in a way.
Today's Toppers
Am i just being insecure?
