Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

I need someone to help me please!

I don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months, and I am 20.

I know this is just in my head. My boyfriend is not cheating on me, I know this for a fact. There is no suspicion of that at all. I know he really loves and cares about me. However....

I feel so sad, I feel like something is wrong. And it's nothing he's done that's made me feel this way. I am truly happy to be with him. But sometimes I'm worried that he is getting bored with me, or that I'm not physically attractive to him anymore.

The way our relationship works is we joke with each other a lot. That's one of the things he likes about me is I can take a joke and I don't easily get offended by things. So he'll sometimes make jokes about my physical self. I'll explain that later.

I didn't want to post the same story in two separate threads, so below is some physical information that you can skip if you aren't comfortable.

START

I am a very small girl. I'm tall but very thin. So I don't have very big breasts. I was very self concious about it at first, but he told me it was fine. But he keeps making jokes about how small they are. I didn't care, till he told me about girls that he has a crush on, like actual friends of his (We aren't swingers, he just likes telling me everything). One he would have dated if he could, and the other, she is so beautiful and nice. I don't look anything like them. And it hurts so bad.

He is the first and only person I've ever slept with. And because of the above I don't feel attractive at all. Apparently, I'm not... good either. But he hasn't told me what I'm doing wrong and it hurts and it's embarrassing. So not only am I small chested, and way less attractive than the people he likes, but I'm bad too.

Also, I'm unemployed, out of school and I feel worthless but I can't find a job. Which makes me feel inadequate to everyone else also.

END

I'm too scared to bring it up because I don't want him to think he can't tell me things, I don't want him to have to walk on eggshells around his female friends (I'm not jealous of them. I know he wont cheat on me, but I can't help comparing myself to them) I don't know how to calmly talk to him about this without making him feel those ways or without crying. I've been crying so much and I can't see anything good in me right now.

Please just tell me what to do. I need some advice. Please.

Here's what you have to do, BE YOU stop trying to be the girl that is perfect for him! It's never going to get you anywhere and just make you miserable, open up, tell him it hurts, cry ffs at least then you're going to be you. You can't just be what he wants you to be. Tell him he can be open with you but he cant be a dick either like making fun of you, there's plenty of other things to joke about, or tell you you're bad, that's just disrespectful, it's not joking. If he's not happy with the real you then yous aren't right for each other and he may have been a dick. Tell him you need more assurance, tell him your insecurities, things that bother you, partners aren't supposed to be each other's 100% in every way fulfillment. He doesn't need you for EVERYTHING, there's some subjects he can not talk about with you that would hurt you, and he can talk about them with friends. No one is going to be an exact 100% match for the other person, you have to learn and work together and sometimes use friends for outlets your lover cannot fill.

From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.

Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3

Ok... That makes sense. But how do I bring something like that up? I want to do it calmly and explain it thoroughly.

If he didn't like you he would leave

He likes you, obviously you're not perfect. Welcome to earth, where everyone wants a size bigger boobs, an inch longer penis, a 15% pay raise, and one more friend.

Just be you, and don't worry about him cheating on you. There are VERY obvious signs that can tell when a person if a person is unfaithful.

When I judge a girls looks I dont care about there breasts. And I'd rather have a calm and cool girlfriend rather than one who WANTS to have sex (not that I don't myself), and acts single with other boys

Pardon me if I'm not understanding the story right.

Well first I think you should be very grateful that you have a loving boyfriend who cares about you. There are so many people out there who actualy have big boobs and what not, yet their relationships are awful. Catching my drift?
Just talk to him casually. It might seem scary at first but once you do it it will be like nothing. You need to enjoy life and focus on the things that you do have (: think about it, would you rather be skinny and have a boyfriend who loves you for you, or be "curvy" and have a boyfriend who only wants you for sex?

You need to calmly bring it up with him and explain how it makes you feel when he talks, or treats you like that. It is extremely disrespectful to make fun of your girlfriend like that even if he doesn't realize it. That's just something that I can't tolerate. If you talk to him and he continues with this, I'd dump his sorry ass. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel happy and comfortable with yourself.

stop comparing with other girls. everyone has their own specialty. just explain to him everything. express your feelings to him.