Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

So this is a conversation between me and her txting last night. It actually may have helped me under stand a lot about why she said we couldn't date, but still I'm not sure how to help her see that I'm not going anywhere and I won't leave her. idk I just need advice.

()= im explaining it to you what i meant etc



Luke
so why dont you like pivtures? you never told me

Erin
It leaves memories. You don't want left behind when it ends

Luke
What if it doesn't have to end?

Erin
It always does
My family just shut everything off!
Happy new years

Luke
I hope you dont mean that. Erin there aer going to be people in your life who hurt you. it's human nature, You cant let one person or chapter of your life that didnt end well ruin the rest of it for you.

Erin
I'm not going to let it. But I'm also not going to let some one in my life easaly. And open myself up to a car crash waiting to happen.

Luke
And it doesn't always have to end. not if you find the person who will stick with you through anything and never look back. (referring to me here but i didnt wanna say it like that) You never know untill you take the chance.

Luke
Hey..

Erin
What?

Luke
idk Im thinking and I know what but idk how

Erin

20 hours agoLuke Haskins
ehh yeah we gotta talk. (I meant in person but she mistook that)

Erin
Okay?
Brb

Luke
give melike 5-10 minutes to typesomthingout
okay?

Erin
Okay

Luke
shitt i dont know how to say this

Erin
I need to go to bed
Are you mad at me?

Luke
I guess What Im trying to say is when we were dating, I wasnt planning on ending anything. It seems like we got close and you were afraid you would get to close and it would endand you would get hurt again, so rather than taking the chance you closed your self off. well before you even said anything to me about it. What im trying to say is I would nver leav you and had/haveno intention of ending a relationshipwith you. Imtrying to say I'm not going anywhere, and It doesnt have to end, you just need to give me the chance to show you, I know you've been hurt in the past and I know you are afraid you'llget hurt again, But If yougive me the chance you'll see Ill never do anything to hurt you, and I'm not going to let anything end aslong as you dont want it to! I hope this makes sense. We gotta talk in person REALLY BAD I think Im trying to say it doesnt have to end,if you dont want it to. Just think about what I've said. I love you Erin good night. (Iknow there's a lot of repetitive babble but I was trying to catch her before she went to bed)


Luke (answering her are you mad question and trying to explin a little better)
No I'm not mad at you. I just couldn't think of a way to say what I wanted to. I still didn't. Maybe next weekend we can talk it out okay? I'm sorry if it seems like I blew up, I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I just want you to know, if we give it another shot, it don't have to end. I just need you to trust that ill always be here to catch you if you fall and that I'm never ending anything ever. I love you Erin and I always will!

END



This morning was a totally different subject, But I need help. I think she got scared when she got close to me, and she was afraid she'd get to close and I'd end it. How can I get her to understand I have no intention of ever walking away and that it doesn't have to end? What should I do? idk...

Well, did she ever reply to that text? If she is interested, she will say something eventually. Just give it time and be close with her to prove that you have no intention of leaving her.

It's good that you understand. I was like she was, and I also know a lot of people like that. When you're hurt repetitively it's hard to let someone back in. What worked for my boyfriend and me, was just being patient. I was very closed at first, with both him and my ex. The best things they did were showing that they were sticking around, like being for me when I'm sad. Not letting go when I say "I'm fine." Breaking down the walls I put up and proving themselves. Generally it just takes time.

So just be there for her. Yes, see what she says to those texts, but I think when you talk in person you could ask her to give you the time. You don't have to go out, but just be friends, and let you show her that you're not going to leave. Just reassure her. That's really one of the biggest things that you'd need to do. It does get repetitive over and over, but only when the person doesn't mean it. If you know you mean it, say it. And in doing that, perhaps eventually, maybe even in a few months if you're really serious about her, ask her out then. But for now ask that she allow you to prove your worth, and if you mean it, let her know you'll wait until she's ready. That's something she needs to know, that you're willing to do that.

I always let her know I'll wait as long as she needs. also, I explaind to her what Isaid on here in a previous post. She hasne replied yet,but I just sent it. This is what I said.


Okay, I understand you arent over your past relationship and you need time. I understamd that, and I respect that, I want to help you, but I will give you as much time as you need. and when your ready I'll be here. Its just waiting for somthing usually ends badley for me, and I'm worried that when you are ready, you'll find someone else,or you already have, or somthing,that can give you more than I can or see you more etc. and I'll end up right where I started. Im worried if when your ready to date again the love I gave you before will be enough for you and me to give it another try. its been killing me lately, and thats why if I seem distracted. I mean, I'm not saying you'd do that, I mean I dont think you'd still talk to me all the time if you wanted me to leave, I just wory

Thoughts?

I'd just leave it at that and wait for her to bring it up again in her own time.

Agreed. Saying more might smother her. I think what you said was perfect. It explained that you understand her, even revealed your own fears, showed how dedicated you are, and gave her control. Well done.

Well, no, because now shes cting like shedoesnt want to talk, whick isnt like her, we usually talk a lot. and she said she understood, and that its okay(yeah right why won't you talk to me??) but that was it. I know I pissed her off or at least I upset her or hurt her and now I feel like shit. way to start off the year. Why do I even try??

Now I know shes just watching a movie but still, I know it bothers her. Why is it I can help people with their problems (hell I even talked a friend out of suicide) but I can't ask for help with my own problems without feeling like a fucking burden on them?

Good luck.. I was in love with my best friend for four years having to watch him be with other chicks, lose his virginity to someone else etc. =/ Idk how to help really. I guess just try not not just focus on her, still think of other girls etc.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3