Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

My boyfriend (16y.o.) and me (17y.o.) have been going out for 11 months with not much conflict and crazy love for each other. We've always taken things at a steady pace to avoid mess ups and fall outs as best we could. Lately he hadn't been contacting me as much and our conversations sometimes felt shorter than normal.
Last night he messaged me on skype wanting to talk and (basically)said our spark had dimmed and we're not going anywhere but that he he doesn't know why. Sometime later in the conversation I asked if I was too shy when we decide to get intimate; he thought so, and now I do too. When we've messed around, he always made the advances, and after the initial making out, focused on me; I hate that. I want to make him feel the way he makes me, but I always doubted if he would like that (a HJ?) or if my timing for a kiss is right. We ended up setting a date for tomorrow so that we can try those intimacy issues fixed, plus try the favor. [edit]

So I guess what I want to know is if you think these are the right things to do?
If not, what then?

I really, really don't want to lose him

Only do them if you're ready, don't feel pressured into anything, if he really cared about you he would understand.

Agreed with the above. If you aren't ready, he should understand. However, I just feel like you are too tentative to make the first move. I promise, he'll enjoy anything. Just don't do anything you regret, mmk?

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

I don't really feel like he's pressuring me though, I just don't know what else to do. And as long as nothing turns into sex, I'll be alright. [edit]

Then if thats the situation, I don't see the issue. I think what he just wants is to add some spark to the relationship. Sex oftentimes is just the intensfication of passions

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

What you said about it being the intensification of passion really describes what it's like when we happen to go about that stuff. If he feels how I do tomorrow, I'm pretty sure we'll be fine. Thanks a bunch Catch-22

in your position i would just relax and let it happen when making out, if u feel uncomfortable work your way out of it, it aint all that hard =)))

Let stuff flow as it comes. Don't let anything pressure you.
If he loves you, he'll wait.

i'm guessing that this is your first time doing this sort of thing from the way you sound about it. and catch-22 is right when he said that whatever you do, your boyfriend is going to enjoy it. no lie. i was just like you when my boyfriend and i started doing those things, he basically just pleased me and i was mortified of the thought of trying to give him something and being bad at it. tell him if you've never done it before and that you're a little bit nervous cause you just want to make him feel as good as he makes you feel. i'm sure he'll understand if that's the case. when you're making out, just let your hands wander where they want to naturally. or even have him sort of guide you in the right direction to get started. don't stress about it too much if you want to do it, but if you feel too uncomfortable about it, its better that you just wait. don't push yourself to do more than you're comfortable with.

Do whatever you think is right. Remember: Be careful, but have fun