I see nothing wrong with it. The risk is by far and away greatly over-exaggerated and is no greater than a woman over 35 or 40 having a child. There is an increased risk, usually about 3% or so, if you ever decide to have children. However you can find out more detailed about that with Genetic Counseling.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, it doesn't have anything to do with blood, it has to do with Imprinting. You said you were not raised together, right? Well then it makes since. Imprinting occurs when you associate each other as family from before the age of 6 - this is true of people who are even unrelated. A study was done on groups of children who were raised together in age groups and all but a few later got together with people from other age groups. Why? Because the ones from the same age groups associated each other as family despite knowing they were not related. Even those who did get with people in their group one of them was introduced later on after the age of 6 so that association wasn't there.
Basically speaking, relations have more to do with Imprinting than actual blood relation. We associate family with who we grow up with so that we wont see them as potential mates later in life. The same can be said for childhood friends even that you've know since you were very young.
That being said, it doesn't even count as incest but rather
Consanguinity which means "blood relation" but it's been adapted to also mean that while you're related by blood it's not close enough to count as Incest. Incest is regarded as anything closer than an Aunt or Uncle. In other words, Siblings, Parents, Aunts, and Uncles are what count. Cousins, however, are far enough removed to not count in the vast majority of laws.
The only real problem that ever arouse from such unions were if they were done far too often. Once rarely ever presented a problem. As for who I know personally, and I know quite a few, who have children with their cousins of varying degrees -- asthma was the worst of it. Both of the parents had it anyway so even if they were not related the children still would have gotten it and even then it's not that bad for them.
However, if you're going to have children Genetic Counseling is a wise move, just in case. It can tell you the odds and give you a better idea at the potential risks having any children will have.
That being said on a moral basis I see nothing wrong with it, never have. Explain to me past the ick factor why it's so wrong in the first place? The science shows deformities are actually quite uncommon in these unions, even with the slightly increased risk. So really it's just the taboo that's been beaten into us that makes us think it's wrong? Well that's just stupid.
Is it laws? The US is the only Western country to have any place that forbids it, and it's perfectly legal in most parts of the world.
Really all people have to argue, after examining all usual reasons for not agreeing with it, is Imprinting. It's the ick-factor because they can't picture themselves with their own cousins. That's really the biggest reason. However research has shown that people blow everything way out of proportion about this.
Having said that I've looked up a hell of a lot of info on this and I couldn't forget it if I tried.
I had a bit of a fling with my First Cousin, Once Removed (no, that doesn't mean removed from my family it means he is my First Cousins son. And no, that does not make him my Second Cousin).
Honestly, almost no one does any research on this and instead sticks to believing myths and misconceptions about it all. It's been shown you probably don't have much to worry about in the child department... but again, there's a slightly increased risk so Genetic Counseling would be a good thing if you're ever planning on having children. Still, the odds of deformities or anything is quite low. And even if it does happen well a lot of people take care of children with deformities. Yes, totally unrelated people can have deformed children - does that also make it their fault for just having a child? A risk always exists, that doesn't mean anything will come of it.
People with genetic disorders have a 50% chance of passing it on and sometimes they pass it on, sometimes they don't.
Now, as for legality it depends on where you live. If you're from the US then it depends on the state. But you didn't say where you're from.
So, I'm going to direct you to a far more
understanding site and it's
forum. It's a wealth of information with facts to back it up, how I love it. If you wanna seek some real advice from people who've been there, done that, then go there. Happy and loving couples with healthy kids, some with no kids, young, old, some who's relationships didn't work out, some who are on-again off-again, there's all types of relationships on that site of which just so happen to involve cousins of varying degrees.
That being said, you're an adult, you can make your own choices. Just be prepared for what may happen. Most of the trouble that comes from cousin relationships do not come from the relationship itself but from pressure of the family and of society. That's one reason why I was never allowed to be near the one I loved after a certain point, at least not until I started acting like a bitch to him - just so people would think I didn't love him anymore so they'd let us be near each other again. But before that people were constantly pulling him off to the side and telling him to stop being so weird with me. And everyone was always giving me nasty looks like I was some sort of evil seductress or something. As though I was corrupting him.
Next thing I know he goes back home and gets himself a girlfriend. Now I'm heartbroken. Then he breaks it off with her before summer and we hook up again and that's when I totally lost my mind. Of course it had nothing to do with the relation between us, it had to do with the heartbreak and then suddenly the one thing, the only thing, I've ever truly wanted now wants me back. Yeah, well, someone must have told him to knock it off because he went back home and got himself another girlfriend at which point my mind just totally broke and everyone was convinced I was depressed and my mother wasn't sure if she was going to wake up one day to find me dead or not.
And really, he's such a nice guy, I know he doesn't and never did want to hurt me but I'm quite sure our family had something to do with it. If they just minded their own business then this never would have happened. We always had a hot and cold relationship - always. One minute we could be fighting like cats and dogs while the next we'd be cuddling each other like our lives depended on it. Or vice versa.
Oh but anyway I suppose you could say that we started getting along better after I learned to better repress my homicidal rage and jealousy (fyi: I'm a jealous person in general and I'm overprotective of everyone I care about, and possessive).
And that's my story. The difference is that I was 15 - 17 during this time and I didn't fully get over it until 18. Well, not fully, I'm still not over it. It doesn't help to have constant reminders of it. So, word of warning, just know what you're getting yourself into. I'm not advising against it. I'm just saying because of how society views it, it can very well cause problems for you two. I've never been one to care about what society thinks, personally, that's why even though I listened to what others said I still went my own way and followed my damn heart. However... he didn't feel quite the same I suppose. Rules, society, family, pressure from all those things - he can't do anything but listen to them, he cares too much what people think of him. I didn't of course, but he did, and that's one reason why it didn't work out I guess.
So my message and advice to you is this... if it works out and you two stick by each other and don't listen to the nay sayers of the rest of the world, then you're odds are good. My advice to you is don't listen to all the negativity, or don't let it impact you. If you let that happen then the relationship will fail.
That being said, I wish you both the best of luck and the utmost happiness in your relationship~~
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My boyfriend's actually my cousin..
