Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Aite aite, so imagine I'm 18 yeah and you know on these forums everyone says "personality is what attracts me to someone" etc, but like...I don't get that...I'm not a shallow person or anything, I'm a good person and sh*t but I find that when I'm looking at women the emphasis is completely on looks and when I make friends with a female I am not physically attracted to...I'm still not attracted to them, you get me?

So like is there a way to be more open minded or is it just something or was I just born with and I can't help but put all emphasis on physical appearance? Because it's kind of a small pool of females to choose from when you are only attracted to extremely beautiful girls...Don't get me wrong I don't wanna be a carebear like Drake or anything, but to have 0% emotional emphasis isn't normal is it?

By the way when I say 'choose from' I don't mean it like I could get whoever I want, I'm not that arrogant and sh*t.

I guess you're just the kind of guy who's more interested in pretty or hot girls rather than girls who emphasize more on their personalities. There are plenty of men like you (I'd say 75% of men are like that); you aren't alone.

I think everyone has some physical attraction, meaning it's not like ALL personality, but it's like there is a whole new level of attraction that's all about personality and how compatible you are. If you can get to there, I don't think looks really matter. Of course you wouldn't be where you are with them if you didn't find them atleast some attractive in the first place.

Most people are attracted by looks, it's natural.
And attraction may be important in a relationship, I think. At least in most of them; not neccessarily in all of them.

I personally don't care about the looks of my boyfriend. I met him online and was his personality what got me stupidly in love.
He could suddenly become the ugliest person in the world and I wouldn't care.
He's handsome, though
I guess it'd be normal to don't give a shit about looks when you're in love. WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE.

But of course I am attracted to hot girls or boys I see
not interested in a relationship, though, because I'm already in one.

It's normal to be focused on physical attraction. It shows the girl cares about how she looks. It's also just in human nature. Looking good is what people do to attract possible partners. But I guess for what you want, to focus a little more on personality, is think about what you like in a girl. What do you want their personality to be like. Do you want a witty sense of humor? Do you want her to enjoy sports? Try and think about those kinds of things when you think about a girl, as well as her looks.

Yeah, I think there is a difference between someone who just isn't really physically attractive and someone who doesn't take care of themselves.

It seems like the whole "personality is everything" is becoming cliche. Looks should play at least a small role in your attraction to someone, at least in my opinion, and it's normal that you should base your decisions on it. But to base your entire decision on looks probably isn't the best idea. It's a mind set though, the best way to change is just to see people from a different perspective, for who they are, in addition to what they look like.

Males naturally look more for physical beauty. It has something to do with fertility cues or something like that. Everybody takes looks into consideration when selecting a mate to pursue though. Even girls do (although, there is more of an emphasis on ability to provide. Which is just as superficial as looks if you ask me). Really, It's just human nature. Perhaps, you are just more honest than the rest of us. Maybe you just have different priorities. Don't worry about it too much.

Looks do matter, anyone that says otherwise is lying.

Hey, you're more honest than the rest of us. Looks do matter... however, don't make them your only thing. I'm friends w/girls I wouldn't necessarily date.