Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

I'm going to explain my full situation for really the first time ever.

Okay so I have this 'girlfriend' more or less. She gets very little freedom therefore we spend minimal time together. We've kissed several times but never "made-out""..

She has a severe anxiety problem.

She won't officially date me even though I've been after her for over a year and we had our first kiss in October. It leads me to believe she's ashamed to date me or something of the sort. She claims she doesn't like relationships cause they ruin things yet knows us not really dating hurts me.

Hm. Idk. Well give opinions on what to do I guess.

Scared to lose you most likely.

Scared to lose you, she's got anxiety so she's probably scared of people talking/asking, and sounds like past trouble like her parents broke up or something?

Just talk to her about it. Tell her shes got worse chances of things not working if you can never officially date. that you don't want to wait around forever if you cannot fully have her, because it's hard to not be able to call yours and only yours. you want to talk/brag about her and etc.

From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.

Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3

Not necessarily. You mention that she has an anxiety probably - it probably makes her feel claustrophobic. That sounds a little like me actually. A fear of serious commitment because you are scared the relationship may be broken up and you will hate each other is pretty much how it is for me. Just be extremely patient and give her time.

She lives with both her parents..

And yeah I have talked to her about it. She's said "we will date soon" several times since november and Recently she has said by the end of the week.

I dont believe it because she's said by christmas, by the end of 2011, 2 weeks from the first, etc.

Bingo.
That's what screwed me up.

But past troubles, yes. Her grandma died like a year and a half ago and thats what she says screwed her up. but that makes no sense since shes had 3 boyfriends since then.

Id just tell her you really really really do care for her and want to be with her badly and that's why you have to be a little pushy, but say let's just date or we need to date within a week. Show her that NOTHING will change, it's just a title. nothing in the relationship is going to change from what it is now, because your "dating" those changes will happen when you both are ready and want to move forward to the first steps. Dating only implies that you can call her your girlfriend, and be proud of being with her.

From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.

Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3

Had 3 boyfriends since then.
Maybe they were bad relationships, or ended badly.

I understand where she I coming from, I have anxiety problems among other things and I get scared of friend ships let alone dating and love

You have to be close with her let her know you are there she can trust you

Spring showers Bring May flowers