Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Okay so...I'm a girl and my best friend is a guy, I'm almost 16 and he's almost 18. Basically we like each other...a lot. Everyone tells us we're perfect for each other, etc. I always kinda brushed it off but about a month ago my best friend confessed that he likes me and I like him too. We're not going out yet or anything. He cares a LOT about me and I care about him too, but for some reason I feel so strange? Like ill almost. Kinda sad, tense and guilty is the best way I can describe it. Almost as if a gloomy raincloud is following me everywhere? xD

I've been trying to figure out why I feel so awful and I have nothing. Has anyone else gone through this? Is it normal to feel this way?

Right now I'm just gonna give myself some space for a few days and hopefully that will make it a bit better. I keep going back and forth between feeling all crushy about my best friend and then feeling extremely guilty and foolish. Depression runs in my family, idk if maybe that could be it. It's also worth noting that I absolutely failed at past relationships and I have never been committed to anyone properly before. While he is very experienced with dating, I am not. Insecure is my middle name at times. I just really want to stop feeling so bad. I'm worried this will only get worse and I'll end up breaking his heart and destroying our friendship (something I REALLY do not want to happen!!)

Help..? Any advice is appreciated!
Thanks ~

How long have u felt this way? I've felt it too, but I really had nothing to be guilty bout. I was drousy

For about a week or so, I'd say. The feeling tends to go away when I actually talk to him. It gets bad when I'm by myself with my thoughts.

Are you just nervous or scared to be more vulnerable with him because he knows everything about you in a friend way?

From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.

Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3

Now, I may be wrong, but it seems as if the problem may stem from what you fear may happen if you do start dating him. As you said, you don't want to break his heart and lose his friendship. Which is understandable. But the problem is that you aren't confident that you can have a successful relationship with him because of your past relationship experiences. You two seem very close. When you're afraid that you will lose someone close to you, you might have similar feelings to what you described above.

So I think that it's a combination of everything you stated in your original post. 1) you know your past relationships didn't go so well and think that a future might go on the same path. 2) you want to date him and have a relationship with him (or so it sounds) and you are very close to him. The combination of these two things may cause you to be tense and sad about the whole situation.

If that diagnoses is correct, then I would suggest that you talk to him about it. If he does care about you (which I'm sure he does) and he is experienced in relationships, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help you work through your feelings of insecurity about losing him and having a "bad" relationship. If that doesn't work, there are other ways but that's probably the best way to go in this situation.

Also if you think not dating will save your friendship, you're wrong.
Best friends and one being in love or not dating for too long ruins it.. trust me i know =/

From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.

Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3

@darkness_prevails I think you're right. I'm definitely worried about messing it up, but I know that can't stop me from going for it. I guess I just feel a little uneasy because he's made himself so vulnerable and I'm scared of hurting him. He's been very open about his feelings, while I'm slightly more reserved.

@DeepDistress I definitely want to date him. I know I will, for sure. I'm just kind of confused with my feelings right now but this is really helping.

Thanks everyone!

Then tell him you want it but just need to take it slow and feel assured and that.

From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.

Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3