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Old 06-02-12, 07:49 PM   #1
 
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Default confused about this girl

Hi everyone!

So I am a second semester freshman at my college. I met this really pretty girl from my biology class a week ago and we have chatted around three times so far. Even though I do not know a whole lot about her yet, we stilll do make some great small talk (such as talking about class, weekends, and the such) and my humorous undertones get her to smile a lot and laugh (but not hysterically). She seems like a nice girl and is pretty smart in class (answers a good amount of questions during discussion). However, I am always starting the conversation and she notices me then and makes talk with me. How can I get her to change her attitude a bit or at least "notice" me more? Or is this behavior normal since I have talked to her only three times so far or she testing me to see how persistent I am? What do I do to keep this alive and not act "aggressive"?

Thanks everyone!
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Old 06-02-12, 09:24 PM   #2
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

I would suggest asking her more about her interests, find common topics, so that when she wants to approach you she'll know what to talk about.

She might not be someone who normally approaches someone either.

There's a pretty golden rule in life we all tend to neglect, we're supposed to give without expectation of receiving something back.

You wouldn't want a girl to give you a gift just so you'll give one back, right?

Don't over-think it too much and it'll be fine
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Old 06-02-12, 09:25 PM   #3
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

^^^ Wished I had taken advice like that.








I often don't have a rhyme or reason, only a rhythm.
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Old 06-02-12, 09:30 PM   #4
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by tennis90 View Post
Hi everyone!

So I am a second semester freshman at my college. I met this really pretty girl from my biology class a week ago and we have chatted around three times so far. Even though I do not know a whole lot about her yet, we stilll do make some great small talk (such as talking about class, weekends, and the such) and my humorous undertones get her to smile a lot and laugh (but not hysterically). She seems like a nice girl and is pretty smart in class (answers a good amount of questions during discussion). However, I am always starting the conversation and she notices me then and makes talk with me. How can I get her to change her attitude a bit or at least "notice" me more? Or is this behavior normal since I have talked to her only three times so far or she testing me to see how persistent I am? What do I do to keep this alive and not act "aggressive"?

Thanks everyone!
Figure out a way to have coffee together. You can learn more about her and she can learn more about you, and it's in a "neutral" place thats less "agressive" than "let's go to a club tonight." Oh yeah.. question: Does she make this small talk with any other dudes that you've noticed? If not... Make your move dude. If so... Make your move dude.
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Old 06-02-12, 10:42 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

Thank you all for the great advice!

Well before, during, and after class, she doesn't talk to anyone else. I see her usually on her phone and such. However, when I do approach her, she does begin to talk and such.

Just wondering, would it be a bit "aggressive" to ask her to grab coffee/lunch just after meeting her three times? Or should I just continue a bit more small talk for a couple more days? I do need more time to talk to her though since five minutes after class is definetly not enough...
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Old 06-02-12, 10:51 PM   #6
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by tennis90 View Post
Thank you all for the great advice!

Well before, during, and after class, she doesn't talk to anyone else. I see her usually on her phone and such. However, when I do approach her, she does begin to talk and such.

Just wondering, would it be a bit "aggressive" to ask her to grab coffee/lunch just after meeting her three times? Or should I just continue a bit more small talk for a couple more days? I do need more time to talk to her though since five minutes after class is definetly not enough...
Bro...I"m only 14, but I know that in these types of situations, GOOD THINGS DO NOT COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT. I think you're confusing "aggressive" with "assertive". You want to get to know this girl a little better, THERE"S A REASON FOR THAT, but it's not gonna magically happen. She hasn't "taken the lead", the "optimum" situation hasn't occurred... SOOOOO... YOU have to assert yourself a bit and "take the lead." What's she gonna do, report you as a stalker for asking her out for coffee....C'mon man.
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Old 07-02-12, 12:12 PM   #7
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

Yea what he ^^^ said. Just go for it. itd be better if you asked casually and not make a big deal about her answer
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Old 08-02-12, 11:06 AM   #8
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

Update: So i talked to her after class. While we were waiting in line to get out of class, and since a lot of people were around i FROZE (ugh) and looked at her and she looked back for a couple sec then looked away. When we were walking out of the building, she was walking faster and slowed down once i was talking to her. we made our usual small talk and all and we said bye to each other (first time she said bye to me after we were leaving to our classes). She doesn't talk to anyone after class unless if i do so.

is she testing me or what? playing hard to get?

I was planning on getting her to be my study buddy for our bio test on monday and meet up for some coffee or something on the weekend. In what way can I word it without being overt and aggressive? I just want to get to be her friend for now ya know.

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Old 08-02-12, 11:13 AM   #9
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

No way for us to know if she is testing you or not. Sounds like you are her best friend in that class, and that's all I can really tell. But for that reason alone you two should be study buddies/partners. That will help you get to know each other better. Coffee is a godd idea. Also, who can say no to coffee? So that is a good idea too.
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Old 08-02-12, 11:48 PM   #10
 
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Default Re: confused about this girl

I have been thinking a lot about this and I have come to the conclusion that since we do not know each other enough yet, I will not ask her to be a study buddy and go for coffee. Instead I will just keep talking to her as a friend for a couple of weeks as a friend and see what happens.

What can I do to let her know that I just want to be a friend for now? Act casual and such?

Maybe over time she will notice me and then we can progress and such. Thoughts???
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