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Old 07-02-12, 01:38 PM   #1
 
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Default GF issues

Ok so i've been with my girlfriend for about 4 months, i fell deeply in love with her 3 months ago and told her 2 months ago. I consider her my 1st girlfriend coz my other relationships were horrible ( i got dumped in all of them ) but im over that. So as my technical 1st i wanna do everything possible not to screw anything up. So here are my 2 problems:

1. Alot of guys and i mean ALOT of guys hit on her/ wanna be with her. She came newly last term and shes already popular not to mention insanely beautiful. So when i found out she liked me i was shocked that a girl like her would be interested in a nerd instead of all the jocks and popular guys So in my head im like SCORE! But then i found out how it feels to date a "most wanted" girl. Guys ranging from a 12 yr old to teachers to seniors(oh and by seniors i mean both 12th graders and senior citizens). Its frustrating

2. She says im too shy. i dont want to be shy and im trying to be confident but im just not. And i know she has a better image of me in her mind. She had two dreams of me in which she described me as outgoing, smooth and confident. i really wanna be the me in her dreams but i dunno how. any thoughts?
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Old 07-02-12, 01:43 PM   #2
 
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Default Re: GF issues

Welcome to my world
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Old 07-02-12, 03:00 PM   #3
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Default Re: GF issues

If she bugs you for not being a certain way then she's being unfair.
Try just being confident with her? Like so you don't feel embarrassed with other people there.

I think it's adorable you're wanting to please her so much but don't change your behaviour, just be you. Ignore the thing with other guys; if she's the girl for you then she'll stick with you.









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Old 07-02-12, 03:41 PM   #4
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Default Re: GF issues

On the first issue, there's not much you can do about this. You're going to have to just ignore it or deal with it. It's not going to change unfortunately. It does sound like she likes you though so I don't think that you have to worry about it a whole lot. Just ignore it. It's not worth worrying over or anything like that.

Secondly, You can do it but it's going to take practice. You have to resolve to be more confident and outspoken and then go practice doing it whenever you can. The more practice you get the easier it will be to do so. Just go out there and be more confident and more outgoing. Do it every chance you get. That's a good place to start. If that doesn't work, there are other ways, but that should be the first place you start.
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Old 07-02-12, 04:11 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: GF issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoolNerd View Post
Ok so i've been with my girlfriend for about 4 months, i fell deeply in love with her 3 months ago and told her 2 months ago. I consider her my 1st girlfriend coz my other relationships were horrible ( i got dumped in all of them ) but im over that. So as my technical 1st i wanna do everything possible not to screw anything up. So here are my 2 problems:

1. Alot of guys and i mean ALOT of guys hit on her/ wanna be with her. She came newly last term and shes already popular not to mention insanely beautiful. So when i found out she liked me i was shocked that a girl like her would be interested in a nerd instead of all the jocks and popular guys So in my head im like SCORE! But then i found out how it feels to date a "most wanted" girl. Guys ranging from a 12 yr old to teachers to seniors(oh and by seniors i mean both 12th graders and senior citizens). Its frustrating

2. She says im too shy. i dont want to be shy and im trying to be confident but im just not. And i know she has a better image of me in her mind. She had two dreams of me in which she described me as outgoing, smooth and confident. i really wanna be the me in her dreams but i dunno how. any thoughts?
I'm looking at the first paragraph and can't help suggesting that you not set yourself up for a fall. What I mean is, if for some reason (Lord forbid) THIS relationship goes badly, will you then no longer consider her your first REAL girlfriend? Then when I see a dude in my age group say "I want to do everything possible not to screw anything up" I'm wondering if you won't spend so much time trying to not screw up, that you don't get to enjoy this relationship. I mean you're gonna be micro analyzing everything you do, and every reaction you perceive, and every slight or mistake is gonna get blown way out of proportion in your mind. I say relax, you got the girl... now we gotta figure out how to beat back these other fools.

Don't sell yourself short. She see's something in you, or she wouldn't be there. I'm kinda on the other end of that situation. I fell completely for a girl, very popular, lots of dudes after her. But I'm very popular and have lots of girls interested in me. I just could not believe that she wasn't into me. That had never happened. The girls chase me, I don't chase them. Superficial shit, thinking I'm all that, and she peeled my cap back. There is no formula for whose gonna be attracted to who.

Lastly, IMO, if you YOU feel that you need to make attempts to be more outgoing, smooth, and confident, then takes steps to do that. You cannot live up to her "fantasy" of what the guy on her arm is supposed to be like. In many ways, trying to drastically change yourself because this gorgeous popular girl said so, is a prime example of a lack of confidence. Be yourself, and show her the guy she should be dreaming about.
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Old 07-02-12, 09:44 PM   #6
 
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Default Re: GF issues

Dude there is no f-ing way you ^^^ are 14! And thanks everyone i know What to do now
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Old 07-02-12, 11:35 PM   #7
 
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Default Re: GF issues

I guess this case is already closed, but just in case ....

1. She likes YOU, who cares who is crushing on her (as long as she is not a cheating type, and if so, then dump her asap).
2. Listen to her advice. If it's some advice you can and should go for then cool. If the advice just ain't you then tell her "I am who I am, dont try to change me"
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Old 08-02-12, 01:47 AM   #8
 
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Default Re: GF issues

^^ i agree what he says
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Old 08-02-12, 09:15 AM   #9
 
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Default Re: GF issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoolNerd View Post
Dude there is no f-ing way you ^^^ are 14! And thanks everyone i know What to do now
Hey I'm almost 15!!
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