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  Oh my god?

This is a discussion on Oh my god? within the Relationships, Dating, and Crushes forums, part of the Help and Advice Forums category; I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now, and although thats not long, I really do think I'm in ...



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Oh my god?
Old 12-02-12, 02:36 PM   #1

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Default Oh my god?

I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now, and although thats not long, I really do think I'm in love with him, and he says the same back. I believe that I love him more, genuinely, just think I need him more, guess i'm more dependant. Anyways he's flirted a lot with my ex best mate (best mate at the time) but this was ages ago, and it kinda bothered me because I was thinking if you're in a relationship, you don't flirt. But he said that it was harmless and it's good to kinda get it out, so I was like fine.

Someone told me (someone who had a boyfriend) that they were in love with him but was kind of lusting over some other friend, which I at the time thought was impossible, if you like a guy that much how can you want anyone else?

But I am kind of worried I am in that situation now.. I mate my friend a year and a half ago and fancied him as soon as I met him, but he got a girlfriend(one of my best mates) (which he later said he wished he went out with me) and we stopped talking after they broke up because it was a nasty break-up. A few days ago we started talking and we got to know eachother again and met up and had a great time, then we flirted a little, really harmlessly seeing as I love my boyfriend, but then when I saw him today, he hinted as to that he liked me again, and that it "felt right" and I felt a kind of.. agreement? Like I agreed, but i didn't say anything, I just laughed and was like aw thats flattering haha, and now I've stopped flirting or anything, because my boyfriend said he didn't trust the friend and was a bit paranoid, and I feel bad because I don't think im doing anything wrong as such but if I saw my boyfriend saying/sending anything i said i'd probably feel like shit..

Am I a bitch?




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Old 12-02-12, 02:39 PM   #2
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Default Re: Oh my god?

No, you are not a bitch. You are merely flirtatious.
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Old 12-02-12, 02:40 PM   #3
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Default Re: Oh my god?

I don't think you did anything wrong because it didn't register at the time that what you were doing was wrong... However, now that you have admitted it to yourself, I would stay away from this kid or lay down some ground rules.








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Old 12-02-12, 02:46 PM   #4

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Default Re: Oh my god?

He's a good friend though and, I really want to be friends, I texted him saying how bad I felt and he said "I don't feel like you have done anything wrong, but I do really like your boyfriend as a mate and I wouldn't want to mess anything up, so we will just make a promise to ourselves that nothing like that will be said again?"

So I think it'll all be okay, I just have a bit of a guilty mind atm




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Old 12-02-12, 03:02 PM   #5
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Default Re: Oh my god?

I would say it is dangerous to keep him around, even if as just a friend, since the feelings could develop into something more and it could put you in an even harder situation. Loving two people isn't something pleasant and you have to make your choice. Just try to explain him this. It will hurt him probably, but shit happens, right? You first, afterall.
If you're happy with your boyfriend, you would be wise to stay away from him.










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Old 12-02-12, 04:10 PM   #6
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Default Re: Oh my god?

I don't think that you did anything wrong at all. However, I also think that you might want to be careful with that friendship. Be aware that you did agree when he said that and that there is potential there for something that you don't want and for a situation that you don't want to be in to form. So I'd advise that you be careful with proceeding as his friend. As long as you keep that in mind, I think you should be fine. But make sure that you understand that there is potential there for something more. If you want to avoid that, be careful.








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Old 12-02-12, 04:31 PM   #7
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Default Re: Oh my god?

I don't think you're a bitch, I think it's good that you were able to realize when you did something you thought was wrong. Just be careful and be aware of how you act when you're with the other guy, don't let it go too far or give him the wrong idea. Make it clear to him that he is just a friend.




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Old 13-02-12, 12:58 PM   #8

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Default Re: Oh my god?

Just flirting a lot is nothing..
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Old 13-02-12, 06:17 PM   #9
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Default Re: Oh my god?

I think flirting while in relationships is bs. Of course you can still like someone else but acting on it even just as flirting is wrong imo. You should be loyal to your bf/gf.

Also.. never ever be okay with something just because your boyfriend says it means nothing, like him flirting. If you're not comfortable you shouldn't have to put up with it. I get people have different personalities and some are cool with that etc but from your ex and your personality you already have some trust issues, self esteem issues, etc. being with a guy who's hitting on other chicks isn't healthy with the way you are. You have to go with your first instincts and become stronger and more independent and stand up for yourself, okay? I don't know how hurt you were by it but you cant just sit there and be hurt or whatever.


Just make sure you really do love him and want to be with him, not just telling yourself because you're scared, ive done that and it dont end well.








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