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  • 1 Post By Darkness_Prevails

Old 25-02-12, 03:40 PM   #1
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Default so conflicted,

I have this friend, who Ive been friends with for over 2 years now. we've been there for each other through some of the hardest things in our lives. Supported disicions, good and bad ones, shared everything. We're each others bestfriends. Awhile back he expressed wanting to try for a more then friends relationship, but I of course had just started dating someone else, so like a dummy I told him I was with someone else and that friends is all we could be. After that we stopped talking for awhile because he was kinda hurt and I was to busy with my new boyfriend. We also had a new girlfriend a few weeks later (which kinda bothered me for some stupid reason).

So after a few months of not hearing from each other at all we started talking again because we missed the friends we were. Turns out his relationship fell apart because she was just to easy. And at that time I had no idea mine was also falling apart. Turns out that the guy I was with decided he couldnt handle someone caring for him that much. "not ready to love" he said. That kinda crushed me at the time. But the first person to come come rushing back into my life and be there for me was my bestfriend. He helped me through the "big heart break", listened to me cry, did everything to try and make me feel better.

After a few months of that I was fine again with not being with the ex. So the bestfriend then expressed again wanting to try for more. I do not know what to tell him, because a part of me says "yeah I love him what am I doing why arnt I with him" but the other part of me is saying "you just freaked out over your ex having a new girlfriend your still not ready to move on". Freak out is really not the right phrase because it wasnt really a freak out, was more of a "im a little upset because hes found someone and I havnt" type of thing. I just dont quite know what to do. My bestfriend is everything I want in a man and more, and he wants to try this. But I'm hesitant for some stupid reason. (Way to vent 3 paragraphs XD)
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Old 25-02-12, 05:14 PM   #2
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Default Re: so conflicted,

It sounds like you want to, but you want to do it gradually. (Of course you know better, but that's my sense from your post.) And that's fine; it doesn't have to be a full-intensity relationship or nothing at all. You can ease into it and see what you feel comfortable with. "More than friends" doesn't mean you have to go crazy right away.

If that's how you feel, just explain to him that you're interested but you'd like to take it slow. Trust me, I bet he'll be more than happy with that.

I'd say go for something like that. He sounds like a great guy.
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Old 25-02-12, 05:14 PM   #3
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Default Re: so conflicted,

It sounds like you really like your best friend and chances are that he likes you just as much (or possibly more). I personally don't see any reason why you shouldn't go ahead and try to be something more than friends. I mean, even if it's just part of you, you don't want to look back at it later and regret that you didn't go for it. The hesitation is natural because you probably don't want to risk messing up the friendship. And that is a risk that you run. But the reward, from what it seems, is much greater than anything that you could lose and, if it works out, it will be worth it. In the end, of course, It is your choice but I would think that in this case taking a leap of faith and trying it out would be the best course of action. It could possibly spare you one of those dreadful what-if scenarios later down the road.
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Old 25-02-12, 06:40 PM   #4
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Default Re: so conflicted,

Just because you're upset about your ex finding someone doesn't mean you're not ready to move on. I was in a happy relationship and it still bothered me to find out my ex found someone. You cared about him, you dated him. You were close. It's hard knowing he's doing that with someone else. It's perfectly reasonable.

Let your friend know how you're feeling, but that you want to try, but go slow. If that's what you want of course, and it seems like it is. Just talk to him, let him know what's going on in your head. It'll help him know how to proceed and help you talk out what you really want to do.


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