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Old 14-06-12, 04:58 PM   #1
 
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Default My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

Okay so i'm in a relationship with this amazing guy, i've only known him since march, and i NEVER thought he could ever like me back but in late april we ended up dating. He's 18 and I'm almost 16. He's been in a serious relationship before, he and this girl were together for about a year and he says she's the only girl he ever fell in love with. So anyways he's not like most guys who just want to get some, ever since she broke his heart he hasn't been able to keep a relationship with any other girl because he wants a meaningful relationship and he didn't feel like it was going anywhere with them. So it's been about a year since he and that girl broke up and now we're dating. He's told me I'm different from all the other girls he's dated and that I make him feel way better than any of them ever did since the one girl he was in love with.

Ever since late may we haven't seen each other because now school's out and his trucks broken (and i can't drive yet), so he's been busy trying to find a job and save enough money for a new truck. It's been really depressing for me to not see him. Like seriously the last week of school i had to go to without him because he had graduated, and I just wanted to die. And ever since I last saw him on graduation nite I've missed him like CRAZY and he knows it. We txt sometimes but I don't like to.. it feels artificial and I just wish I could be with him in person.

Anyways, one nite I got really tipsy and ended up txting him, expressing that I'm afraid he'll loose interest in me because we can't see each other or that I'm not worth it to wait for me, or that he'll talk to other girls because it would be so easy for him to get away with it. I am sooo paranoid for literally no reason, he's given me no reason to think he doesn't like me anymore or that he's interested in other girls, I just have trust issues. Well a few hours later after I'm sober I check my messages (re-read the txts i sent him and feel like a complete dumbass) and he's txted me back reassuring me that "he understands how I feel and that long distance relationships suck but he doesn't know what to say and that he wouldn't talk to other girls behind my back." And I don't know if he was sober when he sent me that (my phone doesn't tell me when i receive txts) but I knew he must have been pretty drunk at the moment when I started txting him while I was sober and I apologize and say I'm just used to people always letting me down and expect it and then he txts me back saying "(my name), I can honestly say i love you. but i'm so scared you don't feel the same because it'll be so long til i see you.. just keep me in your thoughts and i'll never forget you." I didn't really think much of it because i knew he was drunk and i was like "r u drunk?" and he said "ya i'm drunk on vodka." I didn't txt him back for the rest of the nite not because i didn't want to but because i have bad signal at my house and it was really late so i was too tired to bother trying to get signal again.
So ever since that nite (it's only been a few days since then) he seems to have been avoiding me.. I don't know if its because of what he said or if he's actually busy... but it's making me paranoid. He knows I miss him and while we were txting I did manage to say things like "you're always in my thoughts" so he must know i care for him..

I'm just so confused could he actually have meant it when he said he loved me? I just was not expecting it because it's so early in the relationship.. I can't say I love him back (i have problems getting attached to people) but all I know is that I miss him so much and every night i spend hours thinking about him wishing i could be with him and that I care about him so much more than I want to admit to myself..
I'm afraid i could have hurt his feelings by not saying I loved him back when he said it, but I didn't know what to do. If he didn't mean it I didn't want to make a fool of myself and assume he meant it if he didn't... and if he did i don't know what to think. And I'm afraid he might feel awkward or embarrassed if he didn't mean it and now he's afraid that i think he did.

I just don't know what to think :(
sry this is so long i was kind of venting to myself
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Old 14-06-12, 05:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

I dont have time before work to read a block of text, but you have two alternatives;

a)He pulled a dumb move while drunk and now he doesn't know how to tell you he was just drunkenly rambling so he's avoiding you and the inevitable drama to follow.

b)He does think he loves you but he's afraid to face his confession now that he's sober.

Either way, we can't answer this for you.
You have to talk to him.








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Old 14-06-12, 05:44 PM   #3
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Default Re: My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

Can't say I read it all. But id just go up to him and be like, hey i miss you, don't worry about anything the other night you were drunk etc. and just try and act normal, avoid the whole love thing. push through the awkwardness/distance and it'll become normal hopefully.








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Old 15-06-12, 12:48 PM   #4
 
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Default Re: My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

I didn't read it all, but I skimmed over it briefly.

Guys often get too "in the moment" sometimes and just say stuff that they/we don't even mean to say. I've done it several times and regret all of them. But not only on top of that but, he was also drunk. Plus, he was probably with his broski's which wasn't helping at all. They could have been pushing him to do something like that.


Don't avoid him back. Call him and if he answers, tell him you need to talk about your relationship. It's not bad, it's just you want to clarify something before we go any further.


That's just what I wanted the girl to say to me when I did something like this.
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Old 15-06-12, 01:31 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

This exact same thing happened too me! You just have too ask him about it but not like your being pushy just say your worrried cause things have changed but you don't want to lose him or something.
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Old 15-06-12, 07:05 PM   #6
 
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Default Re: My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

ya i would understand if you didn't want to read it all ahahaha thanx to people who replied
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Old 15-06-12, 07:07 PM   #7
 
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Default Re: My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

hmmmmm i read the entire thing, but i got kinda confused in the middle as to exactly what happened and who got drunk when........

but anyway, i know from experience that relationships between two people who text a lot can get really messy and confusing because emotions are not expressed very well at all over text messages. in my opinion, whether or not you two love each other, shouldn't be discussed over text message, especially if someone is drunk.

i would try to spend more time with him for sure in person, and start expressing emotions to each other in person and not over drunk text messages! try starting to get your license perhaps?
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Old 16-06-12, 07:33 AM   #8
 
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Default Re: My boyfriend told me he loved me while he was drunk, and now he seems to be avoiding me?

Lol I think I'm the only one who read the whole thing .
But deathbeforedisco, I've realized we're alike in many ways; I also have trust issues, problems getting attached to people, worried my bf will lose interest due to the fact we barely see each other and I don't like the idea of him talking to other girls.
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