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Old 30-06-12, 11:41 AM   #1
 
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Default OMG.

Hey... I've read the advice you guys have given me on my last thread. All I see is 'Incest is disgusting' and 'Dump him'. Maybe you can't be with your cousin, but I can. As for the'dumping part, do you guys really thing it's a reasonable thing to do?

Anyways.. my cousin has also had a relationship with one of my (and his) female cousins. They've been talking on the phone and going out for a couple years, but I've talked this out with my bf and he's claimed now that he knows me they rarely go out/talk on the phone. And even when they did, it was just a friendly relationship. As in, there's nothing deep & serious between them. Just an appropriate, clean friendship. I didn't believe him 'cause I have trust issues, and even after he told me that I still didn't like the idea of him going out with her.

So.. today I met up with my female cousin. She gave me her phone to listen to music, and went somewhere else, leaving me there for half an hour with her phone. Of course, I was really anxious and curious to know the truth. So I went to her messages, and I found a message that stated 'Hello beautiful hope you're doing good I'm thinking of you and I wish I could end my life at your sides but unfortunately I have no choice.' Oddly, the date for this message was in 2000. My bf is turning 25 this October, so look how young he was in the year 2000. And my female cousin is a year younger than him. I doubt they liked each other at that young of an age. She didn't even have a phone way back then.
The most recent messages he sent in May. In one one of the messages, he stated he was outside her door and he was telling her to come outside. As for the rest, just 'Hey how you doing thanks for the call OR Talk to you later' So now I'm just confused. I'm thinking maybe the the date on her phone wasn't set properly, and therefore 'cause that message to appear very old. Even though it was a lot more recent.
I can see that they've got something going on. What I don't understand is how he wants 2 girls at the same time. My mom's telling me he can't love 2 girls at the same time, therefore he loves her, NOT YOU. But I don't believe that 100%, I believe in the quote 'If you love 2 people at the same time, choose the second because if you really loved the first than you wouldn't go for the second.' Therefore, if he really loved her, I don't think he'd ask me out.

So now I just.... don't know...
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Old 30-06-12, 11:52 AM   #2
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Default Re: OMG.

The question here is who is the first and who is the second.

This story seems very suspicious to my eyes. First, even with all the curiosity in the world, you shouldn't have sneaked into her inbox; not only is it a lack of respect, as it is probably taking you nowhere. Only feeding you more doubts (like the date one, you don't know if she kept his message from 2000 or if it's recent). It's pretty much a recipe for disaster.. I've read some other of your threads and well, it speaks for itself.
Secondly, and honestly, breaking up with him seems more than reasonable.

If you really want to try fixing it, which I understand you would, then you have to talk about it with him. Nothing will get fixed if you don't communicate and compromise.











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Old 30-06-12, 12:00 PM   #3
 
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Default Re: OMG.

The "evidence" you found on his phone means next to nothing. But that's beside the point. There are many other reasons to break up.

I've said nothing about incest, and I still think you should end it. You don't need a reason except "we can't be together enough and it's just not working out."
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Old 30-06-12, 12:02 PM   #4
 
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Default Re: OMG.

You don't understand why a guy would want two girls at the same time?
Let me unravel this mystery for you: because two is better than one.

Also, if he's asking both of you out, he doesn't love either of you. He is just playing both of you.

Get rid of him. I'm sure you can get a little better than incest-players.
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Old 30-06-12, 01:42 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: OMG.

Break up.




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Old 30-06-12, 01:53 PM   #6
 
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Default Re: OMG.

Hasn't anybody heard of polyamory?
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Old 30-06-12, 02:04 PM   #7
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Default Re: OMG.

^ Good point although that would be double the incest so it could end up..sticky.









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Old 30-06-12, 02:21 PM   #8
 
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Default Re: OMG.

But it's not as though if a child was born into that sort of relationship it'd have "double the incest," it'd still just be cousins.

I don't know the back story to this, I just wanted to point out the polyamorous business and be on my way :3
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Old 30-06-12, 04:09 PM   #9
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Default Re: OMG.

I'm actually beginning to get the impression your cousin is just using you and (possibly) your female cousin.

This has nothing to do with you being related, he's an ass either way so I honestly have to advise dumping his sorry ass. Two-timing is two-timing no matter what else. The fact that you all are cousins is irrelevant, what matters is that he's clearly just using you.

Or, alternatively, you're just being paranoid over nothing because you have trust issues. Which makes me think most of what you say in regards to him is just you blowing things way out of proportion.

But either way if you're so concerned with it then just break up with him. If he honestly wants someone else other than you then what good is he?
To be fair though, you're going to need some harder evidence - more than just your paranoid trust issues dreaming up a worst case scenario I mean.

At this point though I think your trust issues are too deeply rooted to do anything other than break up with him. Be it his fault or yours, it doesn't matter, you clearly have issues with him (justified or not) so it would be best to break up with him.
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Old 30-06-12, 04:40 PM   #10
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Default Re: OMG.

right, this may be hard to do, but talk to him about it, some guys can be really flirty, and some girls play on it... just check first. And if he is being a lieing, cheating, deciepting, dooche bag, slap him round the face and walk off








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