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Relationships, Dating, and Crushes Seek dating or relationship advice, chat about your crushes, and more within this forum.

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Old 09-08-17, 12:45 AM   #1
 
Name: DanielleM
Gender: Female
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: MyHouse
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Question Relationship Advice

Backstory:
Leandro and I dated the beginning of our senior year. It was all well and dandy until he got back in touch with his ex, Shauna. Since then, he went to hang out with her when he was free. It caused me to assume he was still into her. This created many arguments in the five months we were together. He swore up and down nothing was happening so I tried hard to believe him. The trust I had for him flew out the window when his birthday rolled around and I caught him ditching class with her and her best friend. Admittedly, there was no kissing of the sort but it really crushed me. After school ended, he told me he missed me and wanted to see me. I went out to meet him with the intent of having a civil conversation. Instead, I felt so upset that I did not say anything for awhile. I asked him if he ditched class with Shauna. Leandro looked down and told me did. I got up and walked back home, leaving him alone. I got a text message from him the next morning saying we should be friends. I accepted it, though I really wanted to be with him.

After our break up, I saw him constantly hanging out with Shauna. His grades started slipping and he was irritated often. I tried not to notice and instead focused on my own grades. Despite my determination to ignore it, I often saw them walking together and it hurt. Towards the end of the school year, Leandro would try to make small talk with me. I was still hurt and could only offer a smile. School ended soon afterwards.

Now it is summer. Leandro recently sent me a message explaining his reason for the break up. He said he regretted what had happened and assured me he never cheated on me. He told me that he felt like he was holding me back as I was an honor student and he was average. I honestly thought that was a crap excuse but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that is how he thinks about himself. The rest of the message told me I didn't need to reply but he wished for a second chance. I spent the day thinking and finally sent him a response back. I forgave him but did not think we should get back together. He said he would wait as long as he had to. It wasn't long before my feelings for him started to return and we ended up getting back together.

Problem:
That is a really long background story. The reason I joined this forum was to rant. Earlier today I was on the phone with him. I asked him when he first realized he liked me. He told me he was at the movies with Shauna. She was crying about something he wouldn't mention and he was comforting her. At this point I thought he misheard me because this didn't seem like a time to realize you like another girl. He continued on to say he thought that was a perfect chance to swoop in and make her his. But he couldn't get himself to do it because I was in his mind the whole time. He must have thought that was romantic but I was hurt again. I tried to stay myself and eventually ended the call. I believe him when he said he did not cheat but these thoughts of Shauna keep coming back.

I really like Leandro. He is not perfect but we are compatible. Our past arguments were caused by his friendship with Shauna. She has since moved away and is no longer in his life.

Am I wrong for allowing myself to get hurt over a thing in the past? Leandro and I don't argue anymore. I want to keep it that way but this minor hiccup is bothering me.

Please give me your thoughts. I need to know what I should do.
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Old 09-08-17, 05:10 PM   #2
 
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Name: Liam
Age: 17
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Default Re: Relationship Advice

I know now only your version of the story, but it is very obvious that he cheated on you.

He turned back to his ex and this is nothing else as just a fraud on the existing relationship of the both if you.

He has to admit this. If he wants to have another chance in a relationship with you again, then he must clearly prove how serious he is with that.

And only from this point of view you should give him a new chance no matter how compatible you two may be.


Personally, just out of a gut feeling, I would advise you leave it as it is and move on, as hard as it will be.

To me he's just a gamer and pretender, not yet adult enough for a more solid relationship.

He has to grow up. Or he remains one of those heroes to whom everything is just a game. And that makes each of his partners dolls ... or would turn'em into it.

But in the end you have to decide, of course, whether you give it a try or not.
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