Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

hi everyone, i'm sorry if this post gets really long, i have a lot to put out there, but it'd appreciate it if you read the whole thing. so here goes...

i'm 17 and i'm in my first year at college doing a btec national in media production and an as level in photography. the first thing you need to know is this: i've had an interest in media for a few years, specifically radio. it seems like an interesting industry and i don't really have many skills so i figured i would do media at college and university and try to work in radio. when people ask me what i'd like to do i tend to tell them i want to work in radio.

the second thing you need to know is: i have a big interest in body piercing. i got my first piercing (other than my ear lobes) when i was 14 and ever since then i've had 18 more. i've spent a great deal of my spare time reading about piercings and learning about them and it's developed into a passion for me. after going to my local studio regularly for 3 years the manager and employees know me quite well. i wouldn't call them friends because my relationship with them is on a more professional level, but i am on first name terms with them and such.

now, i'd talked to my mum about a year ago about the fact that i want to work as a body piercer and she said that once i've worked in media for a while she doesn't see why i shouldn't. she's pretty accepting of my piercings and even paid for a quite a few of them for me. last year, the manager of my local studio told me as soon as i turn 18 she will give me a job straight away and start training me up as she knows how passionate i am about piercings and she said she'd love to have me on her staff. my mum said she thought that that would be a great part time job for me while i'm in my second year at college and when i go to uni. but recently some things have upset the plan i had pretty much set out for my life.

first, one of the piercers of my local studio is in the process of branching out and opening her own studio. she told me she was looking for staff and that if i gave her my cv she would give me an interview (which is happening next week), and she will consider taking me on. she said that as i'm fairly near to 18 (beginning of october), she will put me on shop front and teach me the knowledge i need to be a piercer and then after my birthday she can train me practically. my mum was supportive, helping me put together a cv and told me she thinks it'll be a great part time job for me to go into.

secondly, since i started back at college after the christmas break i've been getting really stressed out with the work load and i've not being enjoying my time at college at all. i feel detached from my college 'friends' and i'm always feeling too tired to do any of my work. my college course started off as fun and i enjoyed what i did, it was practical and hands on, but since i got back from the christmas break there suddenly seemed to be more and more written work and not much practical work. i also don't get on very well with my tutor, i find him very hard to relate and talk to and he's not very understanding, which makes things a little bit more stressful for me. i am a very easily stressed person and i get ill when i'm stressed, so lately i've really not been very well.

a few days ago i was thinking everything through and i realised that although i have an interest in media, i don't have a passion for it. i see everyone at college who are stressed too, in the first and second year, and they're coping with the stress by telling themselves that this course is getting them closer to their dream job, and i realised, my dream job is body piercing. i think the fact that the prospect of getting a job at a piercing studio now rather than in october has made this seem a little more real to me, the fact that i don't actually want to work in radio i want to be a body piercer, and ultimately own my own studio. considering how unhappy i am at college and the fact that i don't really want to work in the media any more i figured if i got the job at the studio i could quit college to work there full time and i would be happy. and of course if the job ends up not being right for me there is nothing to stop me from going back to college at a later date.

the trouble is my mum. she's been pretty supportive of my life so i thought if she just listened to my point of view she'd understand and support me, but when i approached the subject yesterday she got extremely angry saying that there was no way she was going to let me quit college to work as a body piercer. she said i need to finish the course and get some qualifications and then she doesn't care what i do after that. i tried explaining how unhappy i am at college and she said she didn't care and that while i live under her roof she was responsible for me and she wasn't letting me drop out of college. this really upset me as i thought she would be supportive of my wish to be happy. today has been extremely tense as me and my mum have barely spoken as we're both clearly unhappy about this whole situation.

something else i'm worried about is that i won't get offered the job because of the minimal hours i could work while at college. i finish college at 5 every day so i wouldn't be able to work evenings, and i get tuesdays off as 'study time' so in theory i could work tuesdays and weekends but this would leave me no free time or time to do homework which would render me a hell of a lot more stressed. the job only seems worthwhile to me as a full time job, and i'm terrified that i will get told i can have the job full time and my mum doesn't let me drop out of college. i would spend every day both depressed and completely resenting my mum.

so, i guess i'm writing this post for a few reasons. firstly, i want to know if you guys think i'm silly for wanting to drop out of college and i should just wait 'til i finish my course to pursue body piercing or if you think i should listen to my feelings and it's a good idea to pursue what makes me happy now. secondly, i don't know how to sort things out with my mum. when she gets angry if you leave her for a day she will be fine and forget about the previous argument, but i'm far to upset right now to forget it myself and that will continue to annoy her and our house will be incredibly tense until we sort it out. however, i have no idea how to approach the subject again because she's so angry.

i'm just so confused about it all right now. i'm behind on my college work and i'm dreading going to college yet again tomorrow and all i want is to be doing something every day that makes me happy. and like i said, i figure if the job doesn't work out there's nothing stopping me going back to college full time as a mature student and trying again. maybe with a variety of a levels to see what i want to do in the future. of course, if it turns out that i don't get the job at all, it will just have to stick it out at college for the rest of this year and wait 'til i'm 18 to re-approach this subject.

i'm really really sorry about how long this turned out, i just felt your opinions would be better informed with the more information i gave. i'll be really grateful if anyone reads this the entire way through and is willing to offer some advice. thanks in advance.

First thing's first - wait to see if you get the job and if you're offered part-time or full-time. If you don't get the job, then continue at college so you have qualifications to fall back on.
Whilst I disagree with the way your mum reacted, I think she's got a fair point - you'd be better off staying at college so you've got something to fall back on. Remember that at the moment, you're in the 16-19 age bracket that doesn't have to pay for courses, and you could be getting EMA (I don't know if you are or not), whereas if you go back as a mature learner, you'll have to pay AND you won't get EMA. And after all, once you've finished college, you can always try for full-time.
You should always follow your dreams, but you should also be prepared for things to turn out not the way you want.
If you're offered the job part-time, then I'd say go for it! It may be stressful, but just remember - hard work always pays off in the end. Try to get a good night's sleep, that will help you feel less tired and more able to cope with stress. I find using lavender linen spray on my pillow or lavender balm on my temples along with deep breathing helps me get to sleep. Also make sure you eat properly, it all helps =)