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This is my first post here, hopefully i can get advice to my problem.
Basically I left school like 2-3 years ago and never really did much until about 6 months ago my parents said I go work for this very wealthy old woman who lives nearby.
It started off fine, i cut her grass, fed her cat, cleaned her windows, you know, easy stuff like that and she paid me pretty decently, nothing huge but you know its better than nothing.
but recently, for about the past 6 weeks i havnt been paid, she says she doesnt hav any money this week even tho i know she does bcos shes rich, and shes been more and more demanding lately, ive been getting up at 8am and not getting home till 10pm doing soo much crap for her every day, i feel like a robot same thing every day and now im not seeing any money for it either and i dont think she will ever pay me.
thing that worried me was last week i asked her about it, i felt awkward asking about money before but last week i thought i would, and she got rly weird with me, usually shes all happy and jolly and such, but when i mentioned it she got rly moody and uptight, saying if i ever mentioned it again i would be fired and she was having a tough time with money and stuff and i should just serve her and ill get money when i get it....she got rly like upset and stuff and made me felt really terrible about it so i worked even harder than day to make up for it but then i realised maybe im falling for her scheme and shes just tricking me into being a slave?
i told my folks and they just said shes a nice lady, she will pay me when she has the money...
where do i draw the line? i feel like a drone just doing whatever she wants and now im not even getting paid for it, but if i mention it she gets upset? my parents dont want to talk to her for me and insist i deal with it if i have a problem.
Threaten to quit if she doesn't give the money to you soon. I'd say in about a week or so.
Then go and look for other jobs.
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If she can't afford to pay you then she shouldn't let you work for her. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to refuse to work for her any more until you get paid. It's unfair on you and that's more important than whether or not she has the money. I know the media keeps saying it's impossible for anyone to get a job at the moment but there are jobs out there if you look. If she's fires you or you quit then it's not the end of the world.
As for the actual work itself, what did you expect? House work / cleaning etc. is boring and repetitive at the best of times. It feels fine to start with because you're doing something different and you know you're making money but soon the novelty wears off. It's not just house keeping that gets boring though, many jobs are the same but you have to stick with it if you want to see the money at the end of the month.
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I understand what you guys are saying but im kinda shy and dont like the thought of having to get like...a proper job. this is just cash in hand, no headache thing for me.
plus shes a nice lady, she lives alone, i cant help feel like "why am i taking advantage of this old woman by milking her for money" when she cant do a whole load of stuff herself, so im kinda reluctant to quit, think it might make more problems that it would solve if you get me.
I guess ill give it a few more thinks and see the situation then
Well, it's hard to tell what someone else's finances are, what you see (or believe) can be deceiving or inaccurate. Better to use your history with them as a guide.
But the real issues are: 1) Your original agreement with her about payment, and 2) Your feelings about changing that...which can be based on anything from your own financial needs to a deeper sense of commitment to another person, who by all accounts, seems to need and depend on you.
So, you might have a more extensive convo with her, maybe start by letting her know of the original arrangement, and that it seems to have changed now without your consent (that's a biggie). And you'd like to know why. You'll note this is a factual convo, there's no accusations or demands being made, and even though she might respond defensively, you should stick to your questions, they are not unreasonable. "When can I expect payment, as we agreed?"
In the end, you might need to determine for yourself what is best for you, but I'd encourage you to take into consideration not just her present behaviors, but also any history you have with her...that is a far better indicator of what's probably behind her current behavioral change than your own paranoid fantasies here.
When people agree to terms and have been consistent there's usually a reason it changes, and although they might not to want to go into detail, you're still entitled to some reassurance of payment AND a date for that. Try to get that date of payment from her, and see how that goes.
Besides, being able to talk with someone who has changed something that involves you without your permission is really good practice.
Well, it's hard to tell what someone else's finances are, what you see (or believe) can be deceiving or inaccurate. Better to use your history with them as a guide.
But the real issues are: 1) Your original agreement with her about payment, and 2) Your feelings about changing that...which can be based on anything from your own financial needs to a deeper sense of commitment to another person, who by all accounts, seems to need and depend on you.
So, you might have a more extensive convo with her, maybe start by letting her know of the original arrangement, and that it seems to have changed now without your consent (that's a biggie). And you'd like to know why. You'll note this is a factual convo, there's no accusations or demands being made, and even though she might respond defensively, you should stick to your questions, they are not unreasonable. "When can I expect payment, as we agreed?"
In the end, you might need to determine for yourself what is best for you, but I'd encourage you to take into consideration not just her present behaviors, but also any history you have with her...that is a far better indicator of what's probably behind her current behavioral change than your own paranoid fantasies here.
When people agree to terms and have been consistent there's usually a reason it changes, and although they might not to want to go into detail, you're still entitled to some reassurance of payment AND a date for that. Try to get that date of payment from her, and see how that goes.
Besides, being able to talk with someone who has changed something that involves you without your permission is really good practice.
thanks thats some nice advice, much appreciated, i spoke to her today when she was in a good mood and she said she had had a lot of expensive dentistry work or something recently....i felt really bad about it then. she promised to pay me next month, and i've been working extra hard today to say sorry
Glad it worked out. You don't need to feel badly, unless your feelings about this came out in some obnoxious way. You're entitled to get paid as per your agreement with her, and if she changes that, she has a responsibility to inform you, regardless of her circumstances (expensive dental work). This isn't a hobby for you, after all, and if she depends on you, she should make sure you're in the know here so you continue providing the service she deems so valuable. So, in effect, it's her that should be sorry.
Typically, it's best to address your feelings ASAP so they don't come out in other ways, which both of you might be sorry for.
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Being treated like a slave?
