Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Hello Everyone,

So I am a freshman commuter to my college (30min drive, no biggie). However, with almost 2 months into school, I am feeling the commuter blues. I have met a lot of people and am cool with them, but I really don't see anything going forward. I usually feel left out when I hear all those people talk about last night's shenanigans in the dorm, the beach adventure, etc. And well, because these people always see each other in their dorm and stuff, they probably aren't going to want to hang out with me. I have tried to send out messages to some people asking to hang out and stuff, but of course I do not get an answer because I probably have been a bit forward and now I am in a sort of awkward relation with some of the people i know.

For example, I walked with this girl in my chem class down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. I have known her somewhat well since she sits next to me. During breakfast, i sat with some of her friends and later they started talking about what they were going to do their weekend. She insisted that one of her guy friends come along and said that there would be many females to interact with. I was screaming in my head "I want to come along! I am stuck at my house on the weekends!" but I knew that my parents would say no due to wanting me to do homework and study. For example, I studied my butt off on saturday and sunday to go to a concert on sunday night, but someway and somehow at the last minute, they got me to stay home and not go in fear of driving at night and studying even more.

I know people will suggest joining Clubs and such, but most of those clubs meet during my tennis practice and I do not really want to miss them because I have intermurals coming up. And also, interacting with other commuter students doesn't work because well, they are in their own little world and do not really want to interact with anyone else who is a resident, which i oppose.

So what do I do? It's getting frustrating seeing myself interacting with all these people and being cool with them and stuff but not seeing anything move forward in terms of friendship. I feel lonely during lunch and seeing everyone else sitting with friends and having a good time. :/

First off, you need to let your parents know that you need a balance with your social life and your studies. Just tell them straight up. If you get good grades, maybe try to use those to persuade them that you are studying more than enough and just need some time off.
Hopefully they'll understand.
You seem to already have quite a few options to choose from regarding what you might do in your free time so I guess I don't need to help you there.

well I just talked to them about the situation. They told me that I just need to focus on my studies and that kids at my age are just being selfish. They also suggested for me to give it more time and go with the flow, however I feel that giving more time will allow people to be closer in their group and not be so welcoming as before. They also suggested me to text them to ask people to hang out and stuff, but from the lack of responses that I got from people, I feel that it is futile. I am really confused on what to do.

Your parents are right to encourage you to focus on your studies, because if you get a good job once you're done, you can do what you want, go out where you want and see who who you want. And people like a guy who's going somewhere in life, might mot seem like it iin college but you'll notice it when you're outta there.
Regarding the lack of responses you get to your texts, just try putting yourself out there then. Try to find a party or something. Preferably one with lots of peoplele so if you go uninvited it won't be too big a deal. Partys are always great places to socialise. And I'm getting the feeling that you're a pretty chill guy so it shouldn't be too hard to make friends. That should probably solve your problem with asking people to do stuff and not getting any answers. Other than a party, you might want to try a pub/bar if you drink, those aren't too bad either.
Well, that's all I can think of right now. Goodluck :p

Alright thanks! However how can I know of parties if I barely know what is going around the school since I dont spend much time there? Since parties are kinda unknown unless you got the right connections i guess I am under 21 so I cannot drink/don't drink since I need to drive back home.
But yes i do care for my studies but I do want to have a balance ya know?

you have to make time for yourself have some fun it is a part of going to college you can't just sit around doing work all day or you will slowly feel crappier ( am i allowed to say crap on teenforumz? :/) each day. Go check out new places bars or whatever . The only way people are going to invite you out anywhere is if you make the effort and they actually see you at some of the places that they go. It does not matter if you go on your own because there will be plenty of others to talk to. Also going out does not meen you have to drink but if you get the opportunity do it , only if you are comfortable with it though dude.


erm in america do you guys have freshers?

AND LIFE LIFE TO THE MAX!!!

Having freshers doesn't matter. It's still dangerous.

Edit: Unless it's freshers/orientation week you're talking about.

yeah freshers week as in the first week of college or uni and dangerous how?

Alright mate, first, let your parents know that you're 18. Be sure to explain that, while you are playing by their rules, you would like a little bit of freedom to balance your studies. Explain to them that college only happens once, and you want to experience it.

I don't suggest going anywhere alone. It just makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable. If you do want to go check out some bars/social events, invite a friend to go with you. There is power in numbers.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

/2.5 hour commute each way here

Join clubs and such. I haven't had a problem with it at all, so perhaps it's the way you come across to people.

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