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I feel like shit. But just in school By that I mean, I dont really care 'bout it. I know I should, but theres nothing that makes me want to do better in it. It's like I have depression for school or something. Im no crappy student, but I have no determination or desire at all to even study what is neccessary or make good grades. And the kind of weird part to me is that I just dont care! My parents are always freaking on me to get good grades (at least Bs) but I just dont care, I have no willpower to do good in school. I get there basically to not sit at home all day and come home with nothing new. The only thing really that keeps me from dropping out is that my friend/musical partner and I bring our guitars and get to play and write material for about an hour during lunch. Its about the only value I can squeeze out of any given day. Even with teachers where I know im failing (even the teachers/classes I love) I just dont care. Im like "not goin to college, fuck this." Its so weird. As im typing this, its 8pm on a Sunday, I have midterms tomorrow for AP classes and my my thoughts are basically "fuck it, im gonna fail, but that's okay because I can listen to another ZZ Top album or learn another Paul Weller tune or finish that song me and MArk came up with etc." Ive never been like this before, I AM going to fail at least one of my midterms tomorrow, and my parents will be pissed. But, I just dont care. Its the most indifferent Ive ever felt about anything. I am pretty much happily saying "fuck it". I dont know what to do. School wastes my time when I could be out gigging sharing our music with the world. Playing is what I am going to do, no matter what. So I just dont care about school, but im fucked. So what....?
I absolutely know how you feel.. I was in AP classes too and they wore me out. By the time i was a senior i had that same attitude you have. The only thing that motivated me to go was music. I was such a goody goody when i started high school and then by the end i was skipping class, school, and i made my first D that was my wake up call lol but yea, don't give up. it will be worth it in the end when u get that diploma. everyone goes through that phase where they just want to quit.
No, I wont quit, but its like im a dog tied to a car driving down the highway. And the dog has just realized theres no point trying to keep up and should just let itself go. Im not bad or anything, just completely dont care.
I understand nothing is wrong with you. School is wrong why can't they meet us you where you are your interests
How would a perfect school look like to you?
What would you do if you could do something
Please dont laugh, because im dead serious about this. A perfect school to me would be someplace to get together a band, write music and perform. Thats all I want no more, no less. My life is music.Im 16 now, but when I was 8 I started collecting rare vinyl, when I was 10 I taught myself how to play guitar (got a band goin right now). Ive been to 10 or 12 major concerts, often "old" artists my parents didnt know they were fans of until I became obsessed with them (like KISS or Rush or Dylan or Zappa). I eat, sleep and breathe music. I dont even play video games. Why waste money on them when I could buy a new amp instead? Everything I do is music related. From 6am to 9pm, im usually just listening straight through to albums (I would shoot myself if my teachers cared) and then when i come home from school, I usually watch 2 or 3 concerts ive got. I collect bootlegs (got hundreds, got over 30 Oasis bootleg DVDs). Its fucking ridiculous. Its like when you hear someone say "I WAS going to be a star". Thats me. Im not egotisitical or anything, but give me a guitar and put me on a stage and I will make things happen. In school im basically wasting my time. Me and my friend brought some of our equipment to use during lunch in an abandoned room. In 2 45-minute lunch session we wrote an entire finished song and got half of another. I was meant to do this. I need to do it.
I so get like an autograph for free and crap when you become epic and famous
From joy to sorrow, yesterday to tomorrow, you've been there. Friends like you are rare, your touch is so gentle,
You're my guardian angel.
Like a blossoming flower spreading your wings in grace, filling my heart with power
by feeling your embrace.
Wherever the wind may blow, we will overcome this war, in times happy or sore, I will never let you go.
With a gentle warm heart and a will of stone, We'll never be apart, You'll never be alone. - John <3
I so get like an autograph for free and crap when you become epic and famous
I will personally give you a permanent backstage pass with access to all areas for you your friends and your family. You will be acknowledged at any Grammy or award speech I may have to give someday, and you will always be remembered as a great friend and motivator.
are u going to study music in college?
If u are, here's a tip, DON'T listen to what people will tell u about why u shouldnt study music. I can't tell u the number of people who tried (and are still trying) to stop me from studying music.
No, but everybody's telling me I should. But im not going to. When I get a good band goin, we will gig and become huge. Trust me. I know it. Its like someone is shoving me forward to do this. It sounds ridiculous, but its real. I will make it real. Otherwise, I got nothin to live for.
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I feel totally undetermined
that was my wake up call lol but yea, don't give up. it will be worth it in the end when u get that diploma. everyone goes through that phase where they just want to quit.
