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Hey guys, I am supposed to turn in an English essay about the most annoying thing about Christmas and if any of you could proofread my paper that would be wonderful. Thanks.
Mark corrections in purple and post them on this thread!
-okay, so it wouldn't let me add an attachment so, here's my paper!
Advertisements for Christmas sales occupy every television and radio programming through December, November, and every month before because of one simple reason: the Federal Debt. However, what people seem to focus on more than the Federal Debt is shopping because obviously purchasing a cheap gift for your psychotic mother-in-law with a split personality is far more important than the Federal Debt. Why? Because as long as there is a good deal on shoes, people are concerned with greater things than the Federal Debt. However, if the Federal Debt was to decrease, then perhaps these "good deals" would become the normal price resurrecting the real meaning of Black Friday- to buy things for the price people want them to be.
Due to the population's lack of interest in our Federal Debt, it seems as though the government has decided to ignore it as well! Television and radio advertisements are the major components that determine whether the market will be successful. And with each coming year, advertisements for Christmas sales abruptly appear earlier because business is so terrible. Advertisements for Christmas often have the reminiscent personality of an old, annoying, nagging car salesman considering the majority of the time, advertisements are encouraging buyers to purchase something useless for a sale price that is not really a sale price. However, some people believe we must spend money to terminate this ongoing recession. But, is it not the excess spending that led the U.S. to a financial disaster in the first place? How beneficial is it for Americans to spend more money they do not have? When people save money, most people do not hide it in the cushion of their sofa. Sometimes people buy stocks, which provides companies with money to expand. Sometimes people deposit money into savings accounts which the banks lend to corporations or to the government through the purchase of Treasuries. The money is spent regardless of whether a person purchases a flat-screen television on Cyber Monday or deposits their money into a high-interest savings account. Ignorance is bliss.
Christmas is supposed to be the season to be jolly. Instead, Christmas is the season to constantly be nagged by advertisements. Christmas is the season when this year
Now I vomit cum and diarrhea
On the tile floor, like oatmeal-pizza
Fill my toilet bowl, full of a cloudy puss
I feel the blood, becoming chowdered rust
Christmas is the season when this year’s gifts are bought with next year's money. Christmas is the season when the national debt is fifteen trillion dollars. Christmas is absolutely the season to be jolly!
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Now I vomit cum and diarrhea
On the tile floor, like oatmeal-pizza
Fill my toilet bowl, full of a cloudy puss
I feel the blood, becoming chowdered rust
Advertisements for Christmas sales occupy every television and radio programming through December, November, and every month before because of one simple reason: the Federal Debt. However, what people seem to focus on more than the Federal Debt is shopping because obviously purchasing a cheap gift for your psychotic mother-in-law with a split personality is far more important than the Federal Debt. Why? Because as long as there is a good deal on shoes, people are concerned with greater things than the Federal Debt. However, if the Federal Debt was to decrease, then perhaps these "good deals" would become the normal price(therefore, or some sort of transition) resurrecting the real meaning of Black Friday- to buy things for the price people want[COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"] them to be. (take out possibly?)
Due to the population's lack of interest in our Federal Debt, it seems as though the government has decided to ignore it as well! Television and radio advertisements are the major components that determine whether the market will be successful. And with each coming year, advertisements for Christmas sales abruptly appear earlier because business is so terrible. [COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"]Advertisements for Christmas often have the reminiscent personality of an old, annoying, nagging car salesman considering the majority of the time, advertisements are encouraging buyers to purchase something useless for a sale price that is not really a sale price. (run-on sentence) However, some people believe we must spend money to terminate this ongoing recession. But[COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"], (no comma there)[/COLOR] is it not the excess spending that led the U.S. to a financial disaster in the first place? How beneficial is it for Americans to spend more money they do not have? When people save money, most people do not hide it in the cushion of their sofa. Sometimes people buy stocks, which provides companies with money to expand. Sometimes people deposit money into savings accounts which the bank lend to corporations or to the government through the purchase of Treasuries. The money is spent regardless of whether a person purchases a flat-screen television on Cyber Monday or deposits their money into a high-interest savings account. Ignorance is bliss.
Christmas is supposed to be the season to be jolly. Instead, Christmas is the season to constantly be nagged by advertisements. Christmas is the season when this year's gifts are bought with next year's money. Christmas is the season when the national debt is fifteen trillion dollars. Christmas is absolutely the season to be jolly![/COLOR][/COLOR]
Pretty good, even if I don't necessarily agree with it
Your paper has a lot of logical fallacies. Just so you know, the federal debt isn't in the control of the American public. Sorry. Further, Black Friday was occuring during even the boom times, such as the mid 2000s, so normal pricing has no correlation. If anything, during a recession, prices stay stagnant so companies do not go bankrupt.
Here's my edit:
Advertisements for Christmas sales occupy all television and radio programming throughout November and December because of one simple reason: the Federal Debt. However, what people seem to focus on more than the Federal Debt is shopping, because obviously purchasing a cheap gift for your psychotic mother-in-law with a split personality is far more important than the Federal Debt. Why? Because as long as there is a good deal on shoes, people are concerned with greater things than the Federal Debt. However, if the Federal Debt was to decrease, then perhaps these "good deals" would become the normal price resurrecting the real meaning of Black Friday- to buy things for the price people want them to be(if this is formal writing, never end in a hanging preposition).
Due to the population's lack of interest in our Federal Debt (false- 12% approval rate for Congress comes from the public’s disgust in the debt dealings), it seems as though the government has decided to ignore it as well! Television, radio, and print advertisements are the major components that determine whether the market will be successful (while advertisement is a factor, it is not the only factor). And with each coming year, advertisements for Christmas sales abruptly appear earlier because business is so terrible. Advertisements for Christmas often have the reminiscent personality of an old, annoying, nagging car salesman considering the majority of the time. Advertisements are encouraging buyers to purchase something useless for a sale price that is not really a sale price (How do you know? If I need food, and my local supermarket is having a sale on strawberries, I’m buying the strawberries). However, some people believe we must spend money to terminate this ongoing recession. But, is it not the excess spending that led the U.S. to a financial disaster in the first place (government and consumer spending are different- like, the government isn’t buying irons at Bed, Bath, and Beyond)? How beneficial is it for Americans to spend more money they do not have (generalization)? When people save money, most people do not hide it in the cushion of their sofa. Sometimes people buy stocks, which provides companies with money to expand. Sometimes people deposit money into savings accounts which the banks lend to corporations or to the government through the purchase of Treasuries. The money is spent regardless of whether a person purchases a flat-screen television on Cyber Monday or deposits their money into a high-interest savings account. Ignorance is bliss (CLICHE). Christmas is supposed to be the season to be jolly (why isn’t it jolly? What if people like the ads?. Instead, Christmas is the season to constantly be nagged by advertisements. Christmas is the season when this year’s gifts are bought with next year's money. Christmas is the season when the national debt is fifteen trillion dollars (HOW DOES CONSUMER SPENDING CORRELATE TO THE NATIONAL DEBT?!). Christmas is absolutely the season to be jolly!
"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot
Thank you! And about the comma after but, I didn't think it went there either but when my English teacher proofread my paper for me, she put it there lol.
_______________________________
Now I vomit cum and diarrhea
On the tile floor, like oatmeal-pizza
Fill my toilet bowl, full of a cloudy puss
I feel the blood, becoming chowdered rust
Just so you know, the federal debt isn't in the control of the American public. Sorry,
huh?
_______________________________
Now I vomit cum and diarrhea
On the tile floor, like oatmeal-pizza
Fill my toilet bowl, full of a cloudy puss
I feel the blood, becoming chowdered rust
Thank you! And about the comma after but, I didn't think it went there either but when my English teacher proofread my paper for me, she put it there lol.
That's weird, it's not it's own clause or something like 'however'. It doesn't seem right :/
That's weird, it's not it's own clause or something like 'however'. It doesn't seem right :/
yeah, i have no idea, but i'm gonna keep it in there because she's the one grading it LOL. She's the type of teacher though when she can't find anything wrong with the first half of the paper, she starts to nitpick.
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Now I vomit cum and diarrhea
On the tile floor, like oatmeal-pizza
Fill my toilet bowl, full of a cloudy puss
I feel the blood, becoming chowdered rust
Now I understand, Vertigo, you didn't catch onto my sarcasm. I'm just going to disregard what you wrote because everything you are arguing is clearly because you didn't understand the points I'm conveying. Beyond that, my teacher didn't mention anything about anything you're arguing, so I'm not gonna worry about any of that,
_______________________________
Now I vomit cum and diarrhea
On the tile floor, like oatmeal-pizza
Fill my toilet bowl, full of a cloudy puss
I feel the blood, becoming chowdered rust
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