Am I thinking too much?

[Mooshface]

So, today was the first time my boyfriend and I took a step further in our intimacy and we went down on each other. I was able to make him come rather fast, which is surprising because I have never done anything so intimate with someone before (I'm a virgin). To point out the degree of it, I'd seen penises before, but never in person, in front of me, much less able to touch it. My question here is, when he went down on me and was playing with me, I...dunno. It was a bit frustrating because at moments it felt good, but I became rather self-conscious and tried to relax into the moment, but found I wasn't reacting in any way and became worried with myself. Am I thinking too hard? He kept asking me to direct him, but I wasn't sure how to explain to him or show him, and I felt like I was trying too hard to get into it. He kinda noticed too, and I think it bummed him out i could make him come but he was having difficulty doing it to me.

He said what he was doing used to drive his ex crazy, so I thought there was something wrong with me. I want to enjoy this with him, I want him to make me come. I don't think it helped my mother was upstairs and could walk in on us any moment. Maybe I just need to have a relaxing atmosphere, and be really wet and give him time to explore. It's been bothering me to the point I considered I might be gay (I have OCD moments with homosexuality). There's nothing wrong with homosexuality to me, and my family would be fine with it, so I think I'm more so scared of turning gay than being gay. Y'know? Which is why I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. I mean, women can be beautiful, but I'm not crazy about the idea of "being" with a girl. So...what's my deal here? Why am I not enjoying it as much as I anticipated I would?

Thinking about him being down there turns me on. So, waaah? Halp please? Or is this the wrong forum to go to? >_>

[Marietta]

Maybe you just were not ready yet?
And every girl isn't the same, maybe what worked for his ex won't work for you.

Also, it's a lot harder for girls to orgasm than it is for guys.
There's some kind of mental block that you may or may not be in control of.

It could be a variety of reasons. If he's trying what he did on his ex then that could be the problem.
If you wanna figure out what feels good then you just have to work at finding it I guess.

[katiejess]

i have been sexually active for a few years, and i have never been able to get that excited about being 'licked out'. I know what you mean though, how sometimes it feels good, and other times it is almost stressful. everyone says they love it, but i really don't i way prefer other methods, so don't stress about it, everyone is different and works for her (his ex) might not work for you. also, girls often need to be in the right mood, so if you were worried about your mum comming down you might have been too out of the zone to enjoy. try it again somewhere you feel really comfortable and if you still don't like it, don't sweat; you just don't like it.