Let me start off by saying I'm a worry wart. I'm also currently in a relationship with a guy that I am highly happy with, and I've always had boyfriends, which is why I'm assuming I'm for the most part straight.
However, there's this girl that I work with that went to my school when I was younger. Her brother and I are the same age and were in the same grade school and are decent friends, so i knew of her when I was little and was always impressed with her beauty. I always thought she was very pretty.
Now she works at the same store as me, and I've never really talked to her but sometimes I see her and I'm like "BAM She's so gorgeous!" and I can't help but stare a bit. And then I began to worry about why I was staring, and that turned my phobia of being gay on (I find nothing wrong with homosexuals, I just have a weird fear that I somehow will turn gay that really makes no sense, I'm considering I just have some OCD). So whenever she came near me I got nervous and paranoid and avoided going near her. I am not really interested in anything sexual with her, I've tried to think of it in my head but I get this swelling of fear and a bit nauseous of the situation so I'm not sure if that's because I am not attracted to her at all, or if I'm scared of being attracted to her. I also kept wanting to stare at her to kind of "test' myself because I was so worried I might have a crush on her. I don't know exactly why I reacted the way I did to how she looked. I mean she looks perfect! All the guys at work find her hot, and I could understand why. She kinda reminds me of Megan Fox, and when she's walking around to me it's like "she looks like a celebrity". I really don't know what my reaction was persay.
This has happened maybe once or twice where I've met a really gorgeous girl and couldn't help but stare. I don't know what this means, was I attracted to them? or really admired their beauty? I don't really go home and think about this girl or anything, this paranoia and analyzing only really happens when I see her at work. As soon as I see she's working, i wanna avoid her because of it. Is this normal? Geez what's going on with me? _-_ I may have forgotten other things to say cause my head feels like it's gonna explode, so if you need any clearing up or have any questions please ask. ^.^
Like I said, I'm a worry wart.