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Old 07-08-10, 06:29 PM   #1
 
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Default My girlfriend lost her virginity to my best friend....

I just wonder how I should handle this. Before me and my girlfriend got together, she attended a party at my house. My friend is a big womanizer, he has had sex with like 30 girls altogether. At the party he got a good tone with her, and when the others had left they asked to use my room. She was 16 at the time, and he got to take her virginity and fuck her bareback in my bed while I waited outside. When he had finished with her, I had to change the sheets that were all bloodied after them. The next few days he bragged about how tight she had been, and how he had broken her hymen. Half a year later my girlfriend and I got to know each other and got together. She says it was just some stupid fling when she was drunk, and my friend tells me she's all mine now. But I can't seem to get those pictures out of my head. The bed squeking, him cumming inside her three times, and the smell of sex after they had finished. I realize most people have various sex partners before they get serious, but I just can't get over the fact that something was taken from me. When I go down on her, I can't forget that his dick has been there, and when we have sex I'm always reminded that he broke her in. Are there anyone who have been in the same situation? The jealousy is eating me alive.
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Old 07-08-10, 06:41 PM   #2
 
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Default Re: My girlfriend lost her virginity to my best friend....

The only advice I can think of giving, is: show her that you will do more than he did (sleep with her and throw her aside). Show her you're looking for a real relationship, and she'll like you more than him.

Now if this is purely your jealousy, that's something you have to accept as something you can't change and should learn to tolerate it.
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Old 07-08-10, 06:51 PM   #3
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Default Re: My girlfriend lost her virginity to my best friend....

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Originally Posted by Arch View Post
I just wonder how I should handle this. Before me and my girlfriend got together, she attended a party at my house. My friend is a big womanizer, he has had sex with like 30 girls altogether. At the party he got a good tone with her, and when the others had left they asked to use my room. She was 16 at the time, and he got to take her virginity and fuck her bareback in my bed while I waited outside. When he had finished with her, I had to change the sheets that were all bloodied after them. The next few days he bragged about how tight she had been, and how he had broken her hymen. Half a year later my girlfriend and I got to know each other and got together. She says it was just some stupid fling when she was drunk, and my friend tells me she's all mine now. But I can't seem to get those pictures out of my head. The bed squeking, him cumming inside her three times, and the smell of sex after they had finished. I realize most people have various sex partners before they get serious, but I just can't get over the fact that something was taken from me. When I go down on her, I can't forget that his dick has been there, and when we have sex I'm always reminded that he broke her in. Are there anyone who have been in the same situation? The jealousy is eating me alive.

Well......

The easy (and correct) answer is "Everyone has a history, and as long as it's in the past, it's not a problem".

However, you were so intimately involved with what happened, it being in your bed, it being your best friend, and her now being your g/f, that it's hard to keep it there, b/c even if you do, you were still a prominent part of it.

I think you need to work thru this by talking with her, and then gradually building a relationship that is separate from 'what happened'. With time, the current experience will/should outweigh the experience that is so vivid for you.

Your history with her isn't long enough right now, so it's sorta natural that you'd focus on that event, with all those details. You need more current details to replace those, and until that happens, try to remember that there's a reason the past is in the past..b/c it's over.

Needless to say, even though there's a huge sexual component to this, it might take a while before you're able to respond sexually to her, without the contamination of *that* event.

Only newborns are without history...Make your own here with her.
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Old 07-08-10, 07:24 PM   #4
 
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Default Re: My girlfriend lost her virginity to my best friend....

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Only newborns are without history...Make your own here with her.
Wow... Did you think of that? That's a really great line.
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Old 07-08-10, 08:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: My girlfriend lost her virginity to my best friend....

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Wow... Did you think of that? That's a really great line.
Ah, you'e new, Danny...stay tuned.
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Old 08-08-10, 03:25 AM   #6
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Default Re: My girlfriend lost her virginity to my best friend....

I don't know how much this will help but I thought I would have the same problem with someone I was with and to start with, I did have thoughts of her previous partners etc. etc. The thing is, after a little while, I became too engrossed in what was going on between me and her to think about what happened in her past. I learnt to realise that the past is in the past. Nothing can changed what happened but it doesn't always have to affect the future.

We all make mistakes and we make mistakes so that we can learn. She's admitted that it was just some stupid fling when she was drunk and that there was no feelings between them. She probably regrets it quite a bit. Remember that sex isn't just about the actions but the feelings and emotions that happen alongside it.

You said that he took something from you. What exactly? He took her virginity but he didn't take it from you. Whilst she may feel as though she wishes she had lost her virginity to someone special (i.e. you), thinking it should belong to you is the wrong way to look at things. It's not like you're trying to build up a collection here.

Chances are, as you get older, you'll have other sexual partners and a lot of these will have had sex with other people. I'm sure you're girlfriend has kissed other guys but that doesn't bother you. It's much the same thing but with more contact and more emotion.

I hope some of this helps.








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