[jello2383]

One year ago when I was sixteen I was at a party and I was really intoxicated. This guy that was 21 and I were alone in a room and we had sex. I told him no, I didn't want to but he kept going further. I was so drunk I must have blacked out because I don't remember any specifics after that. I didn't even remember what happened until I found the condom wrapper the next morning.

I was a virgin up until then...

The worst part for me is I don't know what to SAY happened. Was I a slutty dumb *** who drunkenly had sex with some random dude, or was I legitimately taken advantage of... was it rape? (I know technically by state standards it was "rape" because of the age difference, but I don't a **** about that... I just want to know what it was)

I feel like if I could just give it a NAME it would be over with. If I could just pin it down, if I was to blame... everything would be okay.

Could you help? Please be honest, would you consider this rape?

I don't want to say I was raped when I really wasn't, and friends thinking I made a big deal out of nothing.

[Amyy-]

I would consider it as rape, because 1. you didn't give him consent, you said no and he carried on. 2. When a person is intoxicated, they are more vulnerable hence the fact a lot people either take advantage of drunk people and drunk people get more raped a lot more often.

I don't think just naming it will help, you need to speak to someone. A close friend, parent, someone who you can confide in. Of course Teen Forumz is here to help you, we have wonderful DA's and members but you also need help irl. I'd say get help ASAP and don't drag it on any longer or it will keep haunting you.

[Antigone]

I told him no, I didn't want to but he kept going further.

Then of course it was rape!
You said no, he didn't listen. And he took advantage of you while you were drunk to top it all off. All that matters is that you did not consent to the act but he went ahead anyway.

So no, you were not a slutty dumbass who drunkenly had sex. You got drunk and some ass took advantage of you while you were in that state.

All that matters is that you said no and he didn't listen to that. So of course it was rape.
And when a person is intoxicated, according to some places and laws any consent given while intoxicated doesn't actually count because you're not in a sound state of mind.

[Tommy]

It was rape and no you're not a drunken whore.

You're a little stupid though.

[Darkness_Prevails]

Yes. It was rape. You said no and he went further anyways. That's really what primarily matters here. I'm not sure how much putting a name on it will do though. I would suggest that you talk to someone you trust about it and get some help. it will help you feel a lot better in the end.

[jello2383]

Thanks guys. I have talked to friends, they care.. but sometimes I think they don't understand what I'm going through exactly.

I recognize I was stupid. But hopefully I have learnt from this shitty mistake!

[Tommy]

Do you know who he is? You should go to the police if you do.

[jello2383]

I know who it was, but there is no way I would try and bring him to court or anything. Bringing him to court is not that important to me. I'm just working on moving forward. Thanks (:

[Sir]

Here it technically wouldn't be, you just said 'no' you didn't fight back or physically make/try to him stop.

You were drunk at a party thrown specifically for people to take advantage of other people, you can't say you weren't aware.

[Tommy]

It's not just about you.

He might go rape some other drunken girls tomorrow night, would you really like to sit back and let that happen just because you feel it's not important? History repeats itself.

EDIT: She said no, he still fucked her. No 'technically' shit, it's rape.