Need your help/advice, please

[Calira]

Heii, Im new to this forum and I would like your advice in some matter ^^;
Im sorry in advance for this being too long.

So there's me and my two best friends, S and M. We are girls and turned 18 this year and we've been best friends for the last 6 years.
M has been friends with this guy, A, for the last three years and she has feelings for him. Lately, about a week ago, they became oficially a couple.
The thing is, eh, A is not like... a good match for her, like, really.
He is the kind of person that you can never ever know whats on his mind,
and even though he acts so friendly and open to everyone, he never lets people see what he really feels. Now, this may not be a problem, but this is
not all. In the past year he done lots of shxt to her, things that hurted her
really badly and that she cried days other them. And no matter how many
times she said that she'll cut any contect with him, after a week (sometimes
even a day or two) she'll forgive him and be friends with him again.
For example, about a month ago she told him that she has feelings for him,
and they agreed that they will be together "oficially" in the end of high school.
But in the next day, he showed her a picture of a girl that he was currently
dating and asked her if she allowes him to date that girl. This thing really hurted her, and its not even one of he worst things that he did to her.
He also never been in a "serious" relationship. All the girls that he dated till M,
he dated them only for sex and the longest one lasted two weeks.

This was the background, now, since theyre oficially together, they have been
moving, in the sexuall part, really fast. Too fast for our (mine and S's) opinion.
M is a virgin and never had any sexual experience untill him. In about three
days that they have been together they already got to the 3rd base.
S is afraid that if they will continiue like this, they'll end up sleeping together
fairly fast. Yeah, M is a big girl and she knows what she's doing and everything
but this is not what scares S the most, and me as well.
Since A is the kind of person that you can never know what he's thinking, and
he's also a great lier, it scares us that he will end up sleeping with her,
then breaking up with her and telling the whole school what heppened
between them. Needless to say, this will cause M alot more than just
a heartbreak. Something that I forgot to add, two months ago a friend of As
told M that A did a bet in the beginning of the school year that he will
have sex with her before high school ends. After a week that she was mad
and upset at him, they became friends again and this thing never really
cleared up. S says that we should talk M into breaking up with him, cause if
S is right and A is doing everying just to sleep with M, there will be an awful
end to this and we have to prevent it.
On the one hand, S is right and I agree with her, but on the other...
I really truelly want to believe that A has the same feelings for M, that he
likes, if not loves, her. And if we'll make them break up and then it'll turned
out that he really likes her and didnt mean anything bad, then...
We will never be able to live with ourselves knowing that we ruined their
happnies \:
But if he just acts and does this to get in her pants then...

Ugh, I just dunno what to do, please help?
This turned out longer and massier then I planed >.< Im sorry.
Btw, we cant ask A directly what he feels for M since, as I mentioned, he is a
fantastic lier and the chances that he will tell us the truth (we are not good
friends with him...) are really, really, low.

[Kirk]

Off-topic, but can someone explain the "bases" to me (third-base etc). I know what they refer to but I don't know which one's which.

Annnywaaaay...

I get the impression that A is after sex. Given his past, it seems that he's now making a move on your friend (M). I mean, you said it yourself, they've been moving sexually too fast. I think your friend is blinded by "love". Doesn't she have any suspicions herself? Does she know about this guys past?

I don't think A is not a suitable boyfriend for your friend. He's a liar and a player by the looks of things.


(For future reference: Try and make your post more spaced out. I found it difficult to read and understand).

[XxskatergirlxX]

aww im sorry

[Doniv]

Like Spirit Shard says, this is one jack ass.. why dont you and S arrange M on a blind date?
it will make her see that there are a lot of gr8 guys who are much better than this A hole..

[Star]

I think you should point out the obvious to your friend (which she should know already) and then leave it at that. If she chooses to ignore what she knows and sleeps with him and he finishes with her then she only has herself to blame. You can't be blamed for her mistake and she will have to learn from it. She knows he made a bet he can sleep with her and she knows what he is like, it is up to her what she does next.

[Doniv]

wait, is this girl like, obsessed about this guy, cause she may need to see some one if thts the case, I knew some one like tht, things turn out pretty bad soon..

[sammi12245]

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[Doniv]

whats that about?

[Porcelain Heart]

You're just going to have to say it to her. Obviously, don't go in on attack mode. Just explain your concerns and tell her that you're afraid she'll get really hurt. If she decides to ignore you unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it. Also, on your point about this guy never being in a "serious relationship" I don't think anyone our age truly has experienced that. Feel free to disagree with that generalisation but I think its pretty accurate. By the sounds of it he's just a silly little boy and hopefully he'll grow out of it. Tell her how you feel and hopefully she'll be smart enough to listen..even a little bit.