I feel kind of stupid bringing this to here, but I'd like some real feedback. This will only make me seem pathetic, but I don't feel very pathetic about it because I'm not all wound up about it or really anxious. There's a girl I like. She's incredibly clever. Very rich and was good fun. I had met her out clubbing a few times. I then met her in my university a couple of times - enough to stop and chat. I got her number off her around Christmas time 2008.
I texted her a couple of times over Christmas and never got a reply. Then about a month later she texted me out of the blue apologising for never replying because she was on holiday in Spain and asked me how uni was going. We had a text conversation. Then the following day I called her and asked her if she was doing anything at the weekend and she basically said a flat no to going out with me sometime. Then an hour later she texted me:
"Hey, look I'm really sorry...it really isn't you. Its kinda all guys at the moment, b/c I broke up with someone a while ago. Thank for the call anyway..."
I never replied. I just thought she was being nice. But now I think it's genuine. I mean she could have said she has a boyfriend...I didn't know if she did or didn't. And she started texting me, so she must have liked me at least a bit.
I kind of ended the friendship because a couple of weeks after I ran into her (the only time during the semester) and I walked past her. She made eye contact but I looked away and gave her the cold shoulder.
So as you've read that was over a year ago. I hardly ever see her round, which is why I asked her out like I did. I hardly ever saw her and wanted to seize the moment before it was too late and we had moved too far apart. We didn't share any friends, completely different courses not even in the same part of the university. It was far too random just bumping into her in the city clubbing or around campus. I saw her once last semester.
Well after I asked her out, the only real thing to note is that at the university's end of year concert I was standing with one of my friends who I later found out is going out with a girl in her course. She came over to him while I was standing beside him and started chatting to him. She kept looking at me. But I at the time just thought she was chatting to him, it never registered in my mind that she might have come over to see if she could talk to me. Of course that's a might, I don't know.
This semester I'm in one of her modules. I didn't know she was in it. I just thought I'll take this one because it looks interesting. I saw her all the time. I even saw her today in the library. Anyway, I've found it strange that first off the minute I walked into the lecture hall I saw her looking at me.
She recognised me. I personally would not recognise someone who asked me out over a year ago. I have caught her looking over at me several times in the lectures. She always notices me, whether it's walking in the lecture hall, in the library or just in the building where her course is if I'm going to the lecture. If I do end up looking back at her she always makes eye contact.
I've seen her a lot and I still do like her. She really was lovely. She was such a nice person. I cannot stress how nice she was. Incredibly beautiful too, but that came with the smile.
I'd like to ask her out again, and the route I chose (which I deem to be the most socially acceptable, easiest and the one I'm able to do) is to just get to know her friends and move in her social circle which will end up with me getting to know her that way and starting from scratch on a more solid foundation. I can't just go up to her and say 'Hi' - that's not real life, that's in movies and books.
However, I have gotten to some of her friends, but lectures are over and I'll have to continue next semester in September. I'm thinking since that is my only route and pretty much wipes out any bad feeling and is a completely honest way of getting to know her - why not just ask her out again now, even if she says no again, I'll still be doing the same plan with her friends.
Girls usually end up liking me when I spend time talking to them. I get asked out a lot by girls in seminars, from lectures and friends of friends. I don't think it would be any different with getting her to like me. It's the easiest way for me and I see it as fool proof.
So my plan now is to ask her out over facebook after exams. I wasn't going to add her as a friend, but a member here suggested I do. So I might do that. My plan is to send her a message saying something along the lines of, though articulated better, 'hey, I asked you out a long time ago and I've seen you a lot this semester...you were really nice not to mention you're incredibly beautiful....meet up some time....take a chance'. She's such a nice person she'll most likely respond even if it's to say no, but if I phrase it properly perhaps she'll say yes.
Anyway, my main concern is how creepy this might be. It is completely out of my zone of comfort to do this type of stuff with another person and I'd be scared shitless she's start showing her friends the message or say 'this creep has asked me out again'. I don't want to creep her out is my main worry.
facebook- creepy?
Organise a revision a revision session with people you know on the module maybe. That might work lol.
Be Nice Now...
