[confused123]

last year i had a huge arguement with a group of girls i used to call my friends because of me lying to them about certain things. the only reason why i lied to them was because of the boy i was seeing at the time. they didnt approve and it was becoming very clear to me that they were jealous of who i was with and didnt really have my best interests at heart. they tried to make me feel like i was some sort of a slag and tried to make out as if i was worse than all of them when they had done things that were worse than i have. one of my friends liked the guy i was with so i thought maybe thats hwy all of them were trying ot jeopardise my relationship so i lied about seeing him and when i met up with him and stuff because i didnt want to listen to the shit they were saying about him.

we had a huge arguementn and since then ive kind of been questioning whether theres something morally wrong with me?
it seems within these past couple of months, the list of people who hate me is getting longer and longer..
i know ive made some mistakes but i have never directly hurt them...
i have never instigated anything to hurt them and yet a lot of people are hating on me right now

i really have no idea what to do and my social circle is quite small atm, ive never been in this situation before...
i cant really talk to my new friends about this because i kind of feel embarassed

am i really a bad person?

[TheGuy]

Lying to your friends is not something I'd admire you for, but there's a long way from there to being a bad person.

So if lying to your friends a year ago is the only bad thing you've done, you're definitely not a bad person.

Not having a lot of friends could also be because people are different from you. That doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with you.

[Kyla]

Nop not at all i have the same prob
if theyy were really ur friends they wud say they didnt approve and leave it a lone and just b ready to help u if the guy breaks ur heart they shud b true friends and let u b u and make a mistake if u made a mistake and they cant do that then they r not ur real friends

[David-]

As previously said, lying in and of itself doesn't make you a bad person.

From what you've said, I can't say you are a bad person at all. You did what you thought you had to, to keep from hearing your friends complain about the guy all the time.

And I dunno, from my experience in life, you'll find your friends become clearer as time goes on... But don't fret and think you're a bad person because of your group size.

[Lemanstom]

Lying isn't right but it doesn't nessacarilly make you a bad person. You need to do what you think is right,
I have found as I get older it's more clear who my real firends are.
People should like you for who you are, you shouldn't change just so people like you.

[Sam1]

Everyone has to decide for themselves what constitutes 'bad', esp. when you've generalized from just beahvior to your entire being. From what you're saying, I think this incident falls short of that broad criteria of "badness".

There are a couple of issues here, though (other than your regret). The first is your choice to lie as a way of protecting yourself, and the other is your perception that people 'hate' you, that you not only have few friends, but there's a general sense of animosity towards you.

With regards to the former, I think you might want to review the events in yuor mind and decide what it was you were protecting yourself from with the lie, and if there are other ways you could have handled that, of feeling safer, yet without compromising your principles.

With regards to the latter, the animosity you sense from those around you, i'd suggest 2 things. The first is to do a reality check and make sure what you're feeling isn't a result of the regret you feel for lying, and then to ask someone what the fuss is all about. You need some info from those around you in order to respond to this and take whatever corrective action is required.