[malibustacey]

Hello so basically my life is a bit of a mess at the moment. I have been in the best most amazing relationship for the past year and a half but after a year his family moved to 200 miles away :( so we have been dealing with a long distance relationship which has been difficult but we have made it work and i love him more than ever and i am more certain we are supposed to be.

We were planning to move in together at the end of the year BUT his family are now moving to cyprus in August and he said i can go too but my dad is not going to let me so i am going to have to just go without his help and support on the matter which is gong to be really hard... also i'd have to pay for my own school fees as my dad wont help me (im only assuming as i havent spoken to him yet) I have until august to earn enough money but i dont know what to do. what if i dont get enough money and i cant go? i cant live with him that far away...

My boyfriend finds it hard to talk about but i just want him to say that if i cant go he will stay but he doesnt like talking about it and gets really upset at the prospect of it all because his mum is really strict and she'll do anything for him not to stay arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

plus my sister doesnt think my boyfriend puts any effort in but i dont think thats true however if i go and it doesnt work i'll lose everything :(


I am pretty certain we will be ok and i really really really want to go... what does everyone think???

[Rogan]

I think that it's important that you don't just follow your heart but you also think about the situation fully from both sides. On one side, if you move to Cyprus with your boyfriend and be happy with him but have no financial help from your father; and on the other, you can stay where you are now and be with your family and either continue the long distance relationship (LDR) or break it off.

I don't know how old you are or where you currently live but could you really live in a different part of the world from your family without any support from them at all? There are lots of things to consider and I think that it's very important that you are absolutely certain about what you want to do. What happens if you and your boyfriend have a fight or break up? What happens if you run out of money? What about all your friends?

You're in a LDR with him at the moment; you could always continue with that. If it's working at the moment and you're both determined to make it work when he's in Cyprus, then it should be possible.

If you're totally certain that moving to Cyprus is what you want then you should talk to your parents soon. August will come quickly and there are lots of things that wil have to be sorted out. Your parents will probably want to speak to his parents about it all and you need to starting raising the money you need. I can't tell you what you should do - whether you should stay or go - but I think that whatever you decide, you need to think long and hard about each possible outcome and event.

I hope this helps.

[TheGuy]

The real shit about not being financially independent is that your parents can tell you what to do. Flying off to Cyprus is going to put you in a pretty tricky situation. If the dollars and dimes (or whatever they have there) don't sum up to something you can live from, that trip is going to be pretty pointless. Your dad wants you close to him, and it sounds like he's going to let you run out of money, just to take you home, if you decide to go for that adventure.

Bottom line: It all depends on whether you can make enough money, and if you're up to dropping any plans you had for that period of time. You can't pay the rent with love.