[Sadie.Kitty]

This guy randomly called me, but because I didn't recognize the number I didn't answer. He left a voicemail and it went like this;

Hi Sarah, I was told to give you this message.
then he sang a very crude song and I don't even want to repeat it. Then he said have a nice night.

It freaked me out, and my friend and I called him back to figure out what was going on. I thought it was one of my boyfriends silly xbox friends or something, but it wasn't. This guy, who is 30, got my number from one of my friends and won't tell me who it was. He joked around with me and my friend but in the end he knew her email and full name, and my full name and birthday. This scared me. Somehow my boyfriend and his friend suddenly were in the chat which freaked me out. In the end, my friends added him on facebook. I didn't want to but they talked me into it. I'm worried, this just doesn't feel right, but my friends thought it was fun and cool and they like him. Am I crazy? Am I just over reacting?

[Doniv Darker]

Wait A minute, that was a bit confusing..

So a random guy calls you and leaves you a message, and is friends with your boyfriend and your friends?

No, your not over reacting, I mean, you have to get a grip of more information.. this could be dangerous..
You have to definitely look into this kinda stuff.. If problems persist, you have to tell your parents..

I just don't understand this, first of all, tell us this, Has he called you again, if not, what did your BF say about this?

[David-]

I'm a bit lost... but from what I can get out of you post, and as Doniv said... A random guy you don't know called you, and left a very inappropriate message, and then it turns out he's friends with someone in your boyfriends group? And then they all add him on facebook?

I don't think you're out of bounds to be overreacting. I would be too if I was in such a situation.

I would talk to your boyfriend about this though... see what he thinks and explain to him why you're feeling what you are about the situation and such.

[Meta]

talk to your boyfriend, you have every right to be overreacting and just explain to him you feelings on this.

[Rogan]

You are by no means overreacting. If your boyfriend or one of his/your friends has been giving out your details to people then I think you need to try and find out who it was and make it stop so that it doesn't happen again.

Talk to your boyfriend (it seems as though he knows something) and find out who this guy is. I can fully understand if some 30-year-old starts talking to know and knows loads of personally details about you and your friend. May I also suggest, checking your privacy settings on sites such as Facebook etc. so that not everyone can see your details unless they are your friend or something.

[Sam1]

Always trust your instincts.

You're not overreacting here. A stranger, a 30 year old stranger, calls you and leaves a sexual message to a minor. That's creepy, it's inappropriate, and it's illegal.

Your obligation is to protect yourself here, not necessarily sleuth it out to determine who he is or how he got your number. Since he's on facebook, I'd let him know in no uncertain terms that if he contacts you again you will call the police immediately. Then, block/remove him.

I'd also look to my b/f for support and reassurance about all this, and get his committment to not do anything, ever!, that would put your safety or well being in jeopardy, even if it's impersonal or anonymous.

[Lemanstom]

No, I wouldn't say your over-reacting, people houldn't be giving out your personal details at all especially to someone
you don't know without your knowledge. You shold try and find out who it was and why.
You should talk to your boyfriend as well and explain your feelings in this situation.

[Sadie.Kitty]

thanks you guys
@ doniv; no he hasn't called me again
Basically one of my friends and I don't know who gave him my number(thats what he told me anyway)
At some point me and my boyfriend and my bestfriend were all on the phone with him. They think he's great fun....I disagree! They've never met him before this though. My phone number isn't listed anywhere, so he must have gotten it from someone I know. I'm afraid if I try to tell my friends they will get upset with me for beig so cautious and annoying. Thier point of view is; "he lives in a different state, what's he going to do? Besides he seems harmless." but I still don't want to ever talk to him again

[David-]

Your friends have a very dangerous mindset on this then. Online predators are sly people who are quite capable of being mobile from state-to-state (not neccesarily saying this man is a predator.)

You're protection is more important than joking around. I strongly suggest expressing your concerns and your feelings to your friends. They may think you're being to much of a worrier or to cautious, but it is better to be cautious and safe then in trouble and sorry.

[Doniv Darker]

Originally Posted by Sadie.Kitty

Their point of view is; "he lives in a different state, what's he going to do? Besides he seems harmless." but I still don't want to ever talk to him again

Never, I repeat never think anyone is harmless.. TV taught me that, remember the first Scream Movie, Ok, bad example, but you get my point, right?
You have a talk with your boyfriend about this situation, and ask him to not contact him or reply to him, also tell that to all your other friends, and if these people even slightly care for you, they will do as you ask them to..

Now, as for face book, ask your friends to remove him and set your privacy settings to Only Friends Can View My stuff..

And if he calls one more time, it's best you tell your parents about him, its possible they may even know who he is..

As for the final step, find out who ratted you out.. It's going to be more difficult than it sounds, I know, but you have to prevent this kind of incident from happening again..