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Two days ago, I was worried because my boyfriend had been distant for the past week. I brought it up with him and he told me everything was fine, and told me he loved me and he would have to be insane to leave me. Then, yesterday he got me in the middle of this thing he was having with his best friend. He guilted me into flirting with his best friend and pretending like I was going to cheat on him, and his friend went for it and called him a loser etc etc. This horrified me because I was afraid he was going to lose one of his friends. Then, I tried to get him to work it out with his friend and he was like "oh no he was just testing to see if you would go for it". Then, later he called me and told me he was afraid we were going to fast, and he hated that this was becoming a mushy teen couple who is convinced they are going to get married. Now, I admit that I had said that I loved him, and that he was important to me. But I agreed that we should slow down it was all fine with me. Then he had to go, and half an hour later he called me back and started saying the same thing and "honestly I'm not sure if we are right for each other" and "maybe this was a mistake I just don't feel it" but he was also backpedaling and telling me I was great. I guessed it though, and I said "you're breaking up with me aren't you?" well then he said he wasn't sure....ok yea. He said that he wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't he was just going to be honest yes it was over. My mom insists that he was playing mind games with me. We only dated for a month and it took four months of him liking me before he asked me out. My mom says I need to just be friends, and I agree with her....but even after all of this I still kinda like him...what should I do? I feel like an idiot for liking him, but I still like him!!!! I'm really lost I don't know what to do, he says we can still be friends and everything can just be normal....but I feel like I've been rejected now....how can I act normal around him when just thinking about him makes me want to cry?
Honestly, the only way, that I personally know of handling a situation like this is to remove yourself from him. I don't mean forever, but you need time where you don't talk to each, don't hangout, etc.
It takes time to help move on from feelings and such. And when you always see and talk to each other, it makes it hard to do.
Well, You should keep a distance from him for sometime, until you get over him. unless that happens its going to be hard for you to be around him & it will hurt you.
Feeling just don't run away after the day you broke up, they stay for a very long time.
From your post you have Mentioned" That You Love Him" So its a special kind of feeling. and its takes much more time.
Your not lost, its your life your figure it out. no one knows your better than you yourslef. * if you need help just ask*
I am sure there are lot of people to help you including your Mom.
Form that post, i can say that the guy is up to something or he have other plans. The part that you said that your boyfriends was tetsing you, in my opinion "he is just finding a reason or something to break up with you"
Because a true relationship is based on trust. if there is no "TRUST" its not an Good relationship.
So you can move on! or wait for him to re-return.
My advice (Depending on your post) to you is to move on with your life, There lot of nice guys out there.
Hope this helps xD
I am sorry If I said anything Worng.
Sorry for my bad english
take care.
if you need any help, post it here or send me a Personal Message.
Well, You should keep a distance from him for sometime, until you get over him. unless that happens its going to be hard for you to be around him & it will hurt you.
Feeling just don't run away after the day you broke up, they stay for a very long time.
From your post you have Mentioned" That You Love Him" So its a special kind of feeling. and its takes much more time.
Your not lost, its your life your figure it out. no one knows your better than you yourslef. * if you need help just ask*
I am sure there are lot of people to help you including your Mom.
Form that post, i can say that the guy is up to something or he have other plans. The part that you said that your boyfriends was tetsing you, in my opinion "he is just finding a reason or something to break up with you"
Because a true relationship is based on trust. if there is no "TRUST" its not an Good relationship.
So you can move on! or wait for him to re-return.
My advice (Depending on your post) to you is to move on with your life, There lot of nice guys out there.
Hope this helps xD
I am sorry If I said anything Worng.
Sorry for my bad english
take care.
if you need any help, post it here or send me a Personal Message.
I think there are 2 parts to this. The first is what he did, the second are your feelings about it.
It's hard to account for someone's behavior when it's so inconsistent. Someone who is loving and caring and would 'never' break up with you also doesn't play games with you, either. And, this is what your b/f did, he staged a little experiement using deception to (falsely) uncover info. Uh, oh. At the very least he's really immature.
Your reaction to this is understandable, you didn't see this coming, b/c it;s not typical for him to treat you this way or act this way. So, you rightly feel confused and hurt, as if the rug has been pulled out from under you.
What I don't understand is why you're not angrier about this. Sure, you're sad the relationship seems over (or at the very least, has changed dramatically). But, what he did was really underhanded, and I think most people feel a sense of outrage when they're victimized like that. Maybe instead of feeling just sad, you should feel angry with him.....and maybe let him know this. And be glad he demonstrated this darker side of himself to you this early on in the relationship before you had more time to develop feelings for him.
thanks you guys!! that really does help! And Spock you're right, I should be mad, and I know it....but somehow I'm not. I think it has something to do with the fact that I let myself believe he was something he wasn't...and now I'm mourning the guy I thought he was because I know I can't get him back because he isn't real. He was fun but he wasn't a loving person....he just made me think he was and thats who I liked but it wasn't real...and I can't blame him for being himself, I'm just sad he isn't who I thought he was. I'm taking a long break from him and I think it's helping.
Part of the process of unfolding yourself to a new person (and him, to you) is discovering who they are, and this usually happens not so much by what they say (or want you to believe), but maybe more importantly, what they do. Unfortunately, this guy has amply demonstrated that he has much to learn b/f he's really ready for a real relationship with a real girl.
You're absolutely right that you're mourning the loss of what you thought was there, it's the sharp contrast btw'n what you first saw and believed and what you now know. I'm sorry for you, I understand how raw that reality can be. The important thing is to acknowledge what IS now, rather than once was. And although understandably sad, you're not letting that interfere with your judgement here to protect yourself by staying away.
There will be others, who are (hopefully) far more deserving of who you are.
He was right on one point though. It -was- too fast. One month is such a short time to tell someone you "love" them, and feel like you could be with them forever. It's quite typicall of teenage relationships..
Don't feel like you're alone, it happens to almost everyone... The funny thing is, the first couple of months in a relationship IS the testing period.. That's usually when you decide if you want break up or stay together. And when he decided to 'test' and see if you would flirt with his friend, he failed. Not you.
I know you should be mad at him.. But don't be. There's no point, and you say you still like him.
Which is just a NATURAL attachment! It's irrational. The chemicals in your head will take a while to catch up. which is why you feel stupid for liking him still.. But don't, the feeling will go away eventually.
My take on this guy is that he's inexperienced, or immature, rather than just plain mean. If you want to stay friends with him do so.. But after a break. In the mean time keep an eye out and see if he wants to make contact with you.
Hope i helped.
Today's Toppers
So......my boyfriend broke up with me?
