[gabriellab]

i doubt myself about everything like making friends and losing weight and success
yip everything and i have a really low self esteem and it's totally killing me how can i overcome this??

[Sam1]

You have perhaps an easier question, Gabriella? The complete fix on low self esteem might clog the server here!

J/K, you ask a good question, it's just hard to answer it briefly. There might be two parts to this, the first involves some thought (why you lack confidence), and the second part involves action (or activity): Pick one or two things to start that are reasonable (not finding a cure for the common cold!), and stay with them until you master them. Competence conquers self doubt, find activities that allow you this experience. And, when you've mastered them, move onto others.

[Tutorgirl]

Hey low self esteem is something really hard to struggle with..
I would recommend a self help book, or if you wanted to talk to someone about it like a therapist that would probably be best, because you deserve to see how great you are, and if it really is getting you down then even if it sounds stupid to ask for help for something like this its not, and they would be able to help you work on stuff.
All i know is dont let this go too long on your own cause it does tend to get worse and its hard to be happy if you hate yourself.
Some stuff you can try on your own, other then getting a book that helps build your self esteem is stuff like joining a club, (eg. if you like dancing join a dancing group) cause you can work on that and meet new people and feel like you have somewhere you fit and people who are similar and you will end up making more friends. make sure you go out as much as possible even if your not up for it with your friends cause then you will feel less lonely, and also try do some volunteering cause its something worthwhile and at the same time as helping other people will make you feel better about yourself!
just remember people around you love you and care about you! xxx
pm me if you need me x

[Luucy]

hmm... right this is what i'd do, talk to your friends about how you're feeling and then get them to right down all the really brilliant things about you and if you can right down things you've done well, things you like about yourself and always focus on the positive! Every time you doubt yourself look at the list or talk to one of your closest friends. Good Luck xxx

[David-]

I'm not sure there is any answer that I can give you that would actually help. But in an effort to try and help, this is what I have to offer:

Honestly, in my experience no real amount of self-help books ever helped me when I went through my self-doubts. Truly, what helped me was finding my passions in technology and in my Church. And from there as my passions were built, I was able to solve my friendship insecurities. I became friends with like-minded people who shared many of the same passions.

From that base I grew and was able to branch out, to now where I am still socially awkward in some situations - but its apart of my character and its what makes "me", "me".. If that makes sense.

So, I guess my suggestion in regards to the making friends concern - find your passions. Find groups or some venue in which you can express your passions with like minded people. (For me it was my high school internship with the IT department for my school district. Even now, I continue to work there in the summers, helping where I can.)

And through that, I think maybe you can begin to build your confidence.

As far as the weight thing goes, I can say I understand that one. However, the only answer that I can think of with regards to weight and physical appearance... is a saying one of my friends gave me:

"If you don't like what you see in the mirror, change it."

Go to the gym or such and work out. Develop a daily routine, cut back on food intake, and stick to it (hardest part of all is sticking to it). And you will eventually begin to succeed in overcoming this insecurity.

(However, please note, that quote should not be misused. If you are where you should be in weight or are even underweight, please do not use it as justification to lose more weight.)

-

I don't know, these aren't 'real answers' and I'm not sure my examples have helped in any way. But I hope they have and I hope they have given you some ideas on how to build up your confidence.

[gabriellab]

thank for all your advice

[silvija]

What I did to combat low self-esteem was to just set small goals in support of a larger one.

For example: losing weight. There is a website called SparkTeens that can really help you in achieving a healthy weight; you can monitor food and exercise with it, and it even gives you food plans that you can modify in order to eat. It's reallllly nice to use, and I lost about ten pounds after two weeks of using it. Oh, it's great! As well, try to fit exercise into your daily routine. You only need around thirty minutes a day of it and you will feel so much better after doing it. Exercise lowers stress, builds healthy benefits, reduces cholesterol levels and the risk of heart disease, and releases endorphins which make you feel wonderful.

Find new hobbies as well! There are plenty of things that you can do-- just find something that you truly love to do. And if you really are upset, blog about it. You will find that many people share your same problems and that you can talk to them on there. As well, you can share what you're up to on there.

And sometimes, it's about faking it until you make it. Listen to happy music to get you in a good mood about yourself, dance around in your room, smile (there was a psychological study in which people who smiled often, even though they weren't happy, became happy easier and were found to be more confident in themselves!) Try your absolute best to look at things positively, and remember-- we're here to support you. (:

[gabriellab]

awwwwwww thanks so much silvija for your supper positivity for the day!! yea i am a member of teen sparks i just havent checked it out in forever thanks so much =)

[silvija]

You're most welcome, dear. (: