If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above.
You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.
To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
Re: Why do I feel guilty after making the right choice?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Jessi
It is most certainly possible to do the right thing and still have some negative emotions afterward. While I don't have any statistics on hand, I'm sure a fair amount of women feel down or even a little guilty after an abortion, even if it was what they wanted and had decided was best for them. I'm sure it was a difficult decision to make, and even though it's now "over" you may have to deal with some emotional consequences. You say you saw a counselor beforehand? If need be, I'm sure they'll be around now as well and can help you through this, but it seems like what you're looking for is reassurance that this is normal. It sounds normal enough to me; I know I'd be pretty shaken up if I'd had to go through that.
Time will probably help the most, although I can't say from experience in this situation. Take some time to relax, maybe take a moment to think about all of the positive reasons why you chose to do this and why it was best for you. You don't need to dwell on it but it might help to remind yourself that you did what you really felt/feel was best. In the end that's all anyone can ask of you, and you don't have to feel guilty for that.
no but yea I get what you mean it's just hard going through it when it's like bad feeling now. I ask things on it and even though I know it's best I'm just not psyched for it.
yea that's what I was talking about I kind of worded my question wrong I just meant I was feeling depressed because I've pretty found no hope and decided on it and all.
Re: Why do I feel guilty after making the right choice?
In before "ABORITON IS MUUUUURDEEEEEEEER".
Anyway, it's a sketchy subject. Most people who have an opinion on abortion don't have a 100% opinion on it. So, I would imagine that you don't either and, as such, you're wondering if your view on it may be wrong.
Re: Why do I feel guilty after making the right choice?
Jenny, you know, it's possible to have bad emotions about a good situation, in general, because the head and the heart aren't always in synch, they're very different....they often respond very differently to the same event. Feelings aren't necessarily logical, nor are they always predictable based on rational thought. It's easier to make a decision based on thought and careful analysis of the options, outcomes, etc., then it is to predict and come to terms in advance with the emotions. By their very nature, feelings are spontaneous, but they need to be experienced to be appreciated. So, if this is your first time in this situation, you couldn't have possibly known about (or prepared for) the emotions you're now experiencing.
The people I know who have been thru abortion (the guys, too), report a mix of emotions, ranging from relief to guilt to depression....and loss, too. It takes a bit of time to adjust to them and put them into perspective, but maybe if you use the same logical thought that worked for you in grappling with the decision, you might be able to make sense (and cope with) these feelings, too. Abortion is a very heated topic these days, but each individual is unique, their situation is unique, and their needs are, too. So is their decision.
I'd encourage you to treat yourself with extra TLC here, you've been thru something pretty major. It might take some time to readjust to things and come to terms with all this. If you find that the feelings interfere with your sense of well being and your ability to get on with your life, then some additional counselling is in order.
Re: Why do I feel guilty after making the right choice?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Jessi
It is most certainly possible to do the right thing and still have some negative emotions afterward. While I don't have any statistics on hand, I'm sure a fair amount of women feel down or even a little guilty after an abortion, even if it was what they wanted and had decided was best for them. I'm sure it was a difficult decision to make, and even though it's now "over" you may have to deal with some emotional consequences. You say you saw a counselor beforehand? If need be, I'm sure they'll be around now as well and can help you through this, but it seems like what you're looking for is reassurance that this is normal. It sounds normal enough to me; I know I'd be pretty shaken up if I'd had to go through that.
Time will probably help the most, although I can't say from experience in this situation. Take some time to relax, maybe take a moment to think about all of the positive reasons why you chose to do this and why it was best for you. You don't need to dwell on it but it might help to remind yourself that you did what you really felt/feel was best. In the end that's all anyone can ask of you, and you don't have to feel guilty for that.
It only makes it worst it seems timewise. I would've had my appointment and have seen whether it was a boy or girl. Now I just feel like my life's just shit that I got rid of future kid just cuz he got a vasectomy and told me it was ok when he drove me there now he doesn't even care no one does..
Re: Why do I feel guilty after making the right choice?
Hope your feeling better, I think most people who have a heart find abortions very upsetting because they are always thinking about what could have been :/
Today's Toppers
Re: Why do I feel guilty after making the right choice?
