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im not going to say names or anything in this as id like to be confidential.. but im stuck and idk what to do...
my best friend at school is a girl and im a guy...
she used to go out with one of my mates when i didnt know her at all... i started talking to her a bit in formclass (i never noticed her before that) and we were txting and stuff like that..
after a while we got much more friendlier and ofc now were best mates still but one day she came over to my place and when my mum and sisters went out to town for about 2 hours, we ended up going off to my room to talk about random stuff as friends do. i remember i made a comment that i was half kidding about... she was sitting on my bed and i was standing on it showing her a picture on my wall... i turned around and she was like the perfect hight to gimmi a bj.... thats what i told her... i didnt expect anything just a laugh but then said said go on then. and i said oky doky, as i was takin of my pants she said "kiss me first..."
that was the first time ide ever kissed her, after we hooked up for a good 2 minutes at least we got more intimate and we were performing oral on eachother.. that was awsome.. (im sorry if too much details lol). we just called eachother friends with benefits, but she didnt want anyone to no cos she was afraid of people calling her a slut (so she said). so we kept that a secret and thought we could stay friends but the tempation was still there and we ended up having loosing our virginity to eachother a few weeks later. after that is where things went downhill.
she doesnt want anyone to know and im respecting that although i have told my other best friend... i know he wont tell anyone we share everything.. and i cant tell my mum.. i know she wont be angry at me or anything i just rekon it would be awkward from then on if i told her...
i totaly love her with all my heart, she knows that cos ive told her that alot... the part i dont get is now shes saying she doesnt like me in that way, she says "i love you to but in a friendly way... i cant hav sex with u either cos i feel like such a slut and i feel like im using you but i just dont want to be with you, im sorry." but she still wants to be friends.. shes a really nice girl too. she did also say though "every moment i spent with you i loved! but i just cant do it.. i feel like a total slut... the next girl your with youll feel the same feelings to them as u do to me.." but i just dont want anybody else...
being around her drives me nuts i just wanna hug her 24/7 personally i wouldnt care if she didnt want sex... talking to her makes me angry yet happy at the same time... im not really expecting any answers from you i just felt i needed to tell anyone about this.. just letting it out seems to help a bit.
Easy. Stay friends with her. Tell her that you want a friendship with her again and that you are not interested in a sexual relationship.
It might be awkward but if you two really care for each other, you can make it work.
Thank you sarah, thats what i thought i should do too. dont get me wrong, the sex is epic too! but it wouldnt bother me either way. Thank you for the advice
oh and i thought i might havta add this inm, when we had having sex we were 15, we r 16 now...
well, i kinda understand her although she shouldn't have pushed you back just because you like her...
as Carla said, you should stay friends with her or at least trying ot be. besides, i think it would drive you more insain and would make you sad if you didn't talk at all.. so enjoy being friends because at least that's better than nothing
P.S.: that's really good that you don't really care for sex because it means that you REALLY care for her, it's not just words
yah i really do luv her
friends would be the best thing atm
she didnt push me back cos i told her i liked her... actually now that im thinking about it.. nah cant b.. she just duznt want a relationshp... she said she changes her mind alot and if she would change her mind about me i gues she duznt feel the same way so... yeah
It's hard to get the toothpaste back in the tube once it's out.
Having sex, and being really intimate, changes things, and once that happens, it's hard to deny those feelings or otherwise have it go back to the way it was before. This becomes a real issue when one person 'changes' and the other doesn't...which is what happened here.
I'm not sure what you expected, it's hard to predict the future and what will happen. But, you do know yourself, and based on that, you could have assessed pretty accurately how you would have reacted to the person you lost your virginity with. You sound like a pretty emotionally sensitive, connected guy, so it was predictable that you'd get attached. You're not someone who could just be a fuck buddy, right? You know, detached sex, masturbation inside another person.
Likewise, her response here was a bit predictable, too. Girls who have basically no relationship with a guy and give them a BJ at the first private opportunity are unlikely to have the type of emotional attachment/connection/investment in the other person to have the feelings AND the sex grow together. For her, it really was masturbation with another person!
What to do? Well, you can turn off those feelings and just be with her as a 'friend' (whatever that means here), or you can use this experience to acknowledge and recognize that you're entirely too evolved as a person to be in a relationship with someone who fragments you into parts...and apply this unfortunate experience the next time, to better recognize if this is a pool you wish to jump into to.
It's hard to get the toothpaste back in the tube once it's out.
Having sex, and being really intimate, changes things, and once that happens, it's hard to deny those feelings or otherwise have it go back to the way it was before. This becomes a real issue when one person 'changes' and the other doesn't...which is what happened here.
I'm not sure what you expected, it's hard to predict the future and what will happen. But, you do know yourself, and based on that, you could have assessed pretty accurately how you would have reacted to the person you lost your virginity with. You sound like a pretty emotionally sensitive, connected guy, so it was predictable that you'd get attached. You're not someone who could just be a fuck buddy, right? You know, detached sex, masturbation inside another person.
Likewise, her response here was a bit predictable, too. Girls who have basically no relationship with a guy and give them a BJ at the first private opportunity are unlikely to have the type of emotional attachment/connection/investment in the other person to have the feelings AND the sex grow together. For her, it really was masturbation with another person!
What to do? Well, you can turn off those feelings and just be with her as a 'friend' (whatever that means here), or you can use this experience to acknowledge and recognize that you're entirely too evolved as a person to be in a relationship with someone who fragments you into parts...and apply this unfortunate experience the next time, to better recognize if this is a pool you wish to jump into to.
+1
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i have a feeling were not going out anytime soon especially cos all she wanted at start was some fun lol
so i was wondering if it would be better for me just to go back to fwb? its not really worth me worrying about somthing thats probly not going to happen.
she told me just then though that she doesnt want to hurt me if she finds someoneelse :|
Today's Toppers
idk... help i guess?
Re: idk... help i guess?
