[skin_tight_jeans]

ok well i have been really good friends with a guy call zayne** and he is the biggest player/user out. he has been out with every girl in the school and i new this when i meet him. i was all good with that and just wanted him as a friend (at that time i had a BF) we got really close after we caught up a few times and after my Bf broke up with me we were inserable always together just hanging out ect.

after bout 3 months we kissed and i started having feelings for him. i told him and he told me he always liked me bout cant/wont go out with me of be more than just a friend, when i asked why he said because he didnt want to hurt me (he has depression). one day after school he walked me home and when we went to say bye he kissed we into my room and we kissed and mucked about for an hour or so (NO SEX) when he left he sent me a huge txt saying he was sorrry and shouldnt of put me in that situation and he was going out with my friend (only found out then) and how i cant tell anyone. i sent him a txt saying i wouldnt and i would just forget about it.

anyway about a week later we caught up again and he told me how he missed me and really loved me and all that crap i said i wasnt going to do anything with him til i new he wasnt going ot with my friend. he broke up with her that night and hung out with me for ages after that. i told him i still really like him but he said he wouldnt ever go out with me. after that he went out with a few other girls and we stayed really close friends, but if i went to go and talk to guys or hang with any guys he got all over protective and made up alot of reason as to why they were wrong and why i shoulg hang with him... after bout 4 months of this i told him to back off a bit and let me learn for myself.

a few of months later we went on a camp together and were close but the same thing happend if i got close to anyother guy he would go phsyco, saying he would jump off the quarry/kill himself/cut wrists ect and i was worryied for his safety so i stoped tlkin to any guys and spent most my time with him... on the bus rides ect he would feel me up and kiss me ect. i liked all the attetion but soon it got to much so i made excuses as to why i coulfdnt sit near him ect. after the camp we spent a few weeks really close and i really like him but then i found out he had another girl so i took off and didnt speak to him for a while...

i told him how i didnt wanna just be friends and i was over it i cant just be a friends with him when i liked him that much. he siad seeya then and left. for weeks after we didnt speak to each other and... after about a month both had partners and i was trying to get over him by being with my bf... one day we caught up after schol and he apologised for being an ass and i walked ti his place with him... he kissed me i pulled away and ran home... he txtd me and apologise again. that was a few months ago.

last night he came round and we hung out like we used to. afterwards he said he really liked being able to see me without arguing and he said he wouldnt let anything like last time happen and he was sorry for all that. now im starting to believe him but i really dont wanna get hurt again and i will always wanna be more than friends with him but i no he wont... what should i do.. should i just ignore him and forget bout him or get back to being friends... i just dont wanna put myself into the postion where he is kissing me when he has a gf coz that makes me feel stupid and guilty... sorry its so longgg

[Kirk]

Could you perhaps edit that so it's in paragraphs? It's very hard to read.

[bambi vision]

My personal opinion is that you should keep well away.
He has a track record of cheating and, thus far, seems to have exploited you; he often kisses you and 'feels you up' but then maintains that you should never/can never be more than friends. Do you think that's honestly for your well-being, or for his convenience?
Regardless of your attraction to him, I think you need to re-read your own post and try to look at it objectively. He's not relationship material and even if you were together, chances of him staying faithful to you given his habits is ... well, statistically, it's not brilliant. If you feel that retaining your close friendship with him will just reinforce your attraction and put you in a difficult position, do what's best for yourself and don't see him as often. I'm not suggesting that you cut him out of your life completely, but I think limiting your interaction could be beneficial. Going by your post, it sounds as if he sometimes emotionally blackmails you and also has a tendency to 'rebound' on you or get something out of you when he's at a loose end. You could do without that emotional confusion and you deserve freedom from the atmosphere he seems to create. Some time way from him and thinking about his true intentions might lessen your attraction to him, and you could use that time to meet new people, perhaps guys, without worrying about his reaction. Getting interested in other people might reveal how much better he is as a friend comparatively.

[Rogan]

I agree with every word of Bambi's here. Whilst I don't agree with the phrase "once a cheat, always a cheat," I think it's pretty clear that the phrase applies to this guy. He's says he doesn't want any sort of relationship with you, yet he kisses you and feels you. And if staying just friends is making your feelings for him stronger and stronger, then I think some time apart will be for the best.

Take a step back and have a look at the type of guy he is and what a relationship with him would really be like. Do you honestly think after all the girs he's been with, you're any different in his eyes. He needs to step back and not be so protective over you when you spend time with other guys and if that's something he's not going to do, then you have to move away from his.

This guy sounds like bad news, however you look at it. Spend time away from him and let your feelings towards him die down.

[Sam1]

So, exactly what is it you like about this guy?

Let me put a different spin on this for you...actually, I'm going to put two balls in the air simultaneously here and spin them both (quite a feat!). Tell me what you think.

The first ball is you. Ask yourself what it is about a guy who cannot remain faithful, who disregards commitments, is manipulative (threatening to cut/hurt/kill himself), and possessive that is appealing to you. Most sane people would run the other way, they'd find all those characteristics very uncomplimentary and very unappealing. You? Why are you overlooking that? Surely your need for attention, or his appearance, or *whatever* cannot be blinding you to the simple fact that this guy is at best, a walking disaster.

Then there's him, the other ball in play here. What he's doing isn't exactly typical adolescent stuff. Dating every girl in HS doesn't make him a 'Player' or a 'User', it makes him insecure and impossible to please. Also, guys don't typically go thru depression, it's not a 'stage', it's an illness. And although that in and of itself isn't necessarily enough of a reason to throw him under the bus, the way he handles it is. Being possessive and manipulative and using threats of self harm to control others, again, are not typical 'Teen' ways of getting what you want. It's reflective of some serious problems. When people manage their problems, it makes them stronger. When they expect other people to do that, it makes the other people nuts. For being involved with them.

So, the attraction here btw'n the two of you is understandable...it's based on things not so healthy for either one of you. But, that doesn't mean this is a good attraction. Figure out what it is that is so appealing and irresistable to you here, and then address that within yourself...by finding a guy who can be in a relationship with you in a good way.