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I'm really tired of hating myself and I'm really tired of being miserable. I have no confidence and I really just wish god made me someone else. I am terribly anti-social and when I'm in school, I am completely mute. I have very few friends and I just fucking HAAAATE high school.
I just want to feel good about my self. I want to be able to say "I am happy with who I am". But I cant say that because I know that I'm lying.
First of all, I must say I approve your atittude of "I don't like this, I'll change it" instead of crying in some corner. That's a start!
It does not make sense that you don't like yourself, you're a spectacular person!
Here is some advice: Get a piece of paper and a pen, and write ONE thing you like about yourself or something you are glad you did that day. It can be simple things like "My drawing looked pretty good" or "My hair looks splendid today". Anything works. Write one once a day on the same piece of paper.
At the end of the month, take the piece of paper and read it out loud, look how there's so many good things about you!
Get hobbies, get involved in projects, do some sport. The hardest step is the first, but soon you'll be glad you did this and the self-hate will be just a bad memory.
Best of luck. I hope I helped
PM me if you want to talk about it further.
"If I do good, people might accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives, but I will still do it. Because I believe no one is malicious, not in their core, in their raw being.
The best in them is clouded by sorrows and fears, take those away and you'll bring out the brightest of lights in them.
Because no one can be happy without being kind, without giving ourselves to another, and we all love to give ourselves, it is our true nature.
That is why, even if I might get disappointed, I'll always give the best I've got. A single candle can light a thousand others and still burn." - Skezra
Why not take a risk? New challenges that come by in our daily lives are really opportunities to increase your self-confidence, and not something at which you are bound to win or lose. Every time you do something new, you actually increase your sense of achievement. I found this to be true two years ago when I was going through a personal crisis. You increase your confidence, Guyperson, and also you increase your sense of self-acceptance. You also narrow the difference between your idea self-image and the reality of what you can do.
As I wrote on an another thread dealing with a similar problem, engage in positive thoughts. Negative thinking - it’s so easy to get into - it is a process which erodes your self-confidence and motivation. Although it does take some effort as I suggested to someone else here, you, too, can interrupt the process by telling yourself firmly but gently to "Stop. It." - and then substituting new thoughts which lead you to a more positive outcome. The best approach to building confidence through positive thinking is to remind yourself, like I often have to do I’ll admit, is that you cannot do everything perfectly. But crucially, that you are improving gradually - day by day.
Don't let others decide who you are for you. I made that mistake in the first two years of high school, and I'm still undoing it. You set your own goals and paths in life, so you can decide who and what you want to be.
What things do you want to change about yourself? Your appearance? The way you interact with others? Write all of your ideas down on a piece of paper and write down how you're going to solve it (ask anyone on Teen Forumz for help if you need it). Make a plan to change.
And as has been said by Angel PT, join some groups and clubs at school to get to know people. You'll get there eventually.
The thing I want to emphasize is that change doesn't happen overnight.
Changing your confidence and your perception of yourself will require work. I've read some great suggestions so far, but I'm interested in your thoughts.
You've recognized your discontent with how things are now, so what are some thoughts to changing it?
Guyperson, if it's any consolation, know you're not alone. Being shy of confidence isnt at all very uncommon, lots of people have issues with making themselves heard in groups, Myself included. Perhaps thats why i feel kinda qualified to even respond to this thread of yours. I've written a threead or two on similar topics; lack of confidense in group settings mostly but i definitely understand where youre coming from. Im still trying to put myself out there more, and to be more outgoing eberyday and slightly more heard, but i try. Maybe if you tried to graduallt increase the amount of people in a group you feel comfortable in, it might be a start. Fopr instance if you find talking to a close frriend easy and nontaxing , maybe try extend that group to ONe more person and try continue the same outgoing behaviour and then just build from there. I'm trying that and I think it kinda helps.
Also, try put yourdself out of your comfort zone, put yourself in situations and positions where you are FORCED to be non'mute' and more outgoing, for instance joining a new group or taking up a new extracurricular hobby or something (: I hope it goes well for you !
Hi guyperson,
Becoming confident is a hard task. I used to be extremely shy in grades 7-9, especially with women because I had done Joking, SK, and grades 1-6 with all guys. However, don't get down, because take my word for it, it is definitely possible. First of all, I would say that if you are doubting yourself and constantly think that others will judge what you have to say, you really don't need to worry about it all that much. I'm sure that most people would be happy just to hear your thoughts, and the ones that wouldn't be happy for such a chance are not worth getting to know anyway.
Also, during my browsing today I noticed that you mentioned you smoke dope somewhere. If you are going to school high, try not to because you don't always think to clearly high.
Moving on, if you are embarrassed about your body, such as it being to skinny or fat in your opinion and it really does bother you, work towards changing that fact. Set a goal, write it down and try your absolute best to achieve it. I say to do this because achieving a goal you set makes you feel good about yourself, and can be a confidence builder.
Another thing to consider is to enroll in martial arts. I took wing chun kung fu for a year, and I found it really boosted my confidence in that if people tried to bring me down and would try to threaten me, I felt immune being confident in my own skills, and reacted to such situations accordingly and avoided trouble, by simply knowing I could handle myself in a fight I was able to avoid fights. After all, samurai which lived their lives through discipline always considered even having to enter a fight a failure. This gave me some confidence in confronting new people, and in that knowing if they were hostile it would not bother me.
The last thing I need to mention is that to begin building friendships, simply just start saying hello to the people sitting next to you in class, or some people you have in several classes that you would like as friend(s) and begin to take interest in them. When I say take interest in them, slowly build from saying hello to things like hows it going, and how was your weekend. Doing this gives you an idea of how the person acts and what kind of interests you and the person may share. Once you begin to get to know the person, it will likely become natural and you will simply begin to have fluent conversations with them, leading to friendships.
Even seeing that your willing to change is enough to tell me you will change, and I have confidence in you for this change.
I'm a great believer in getting off your arse and doing something to make yourself feel good,, so well done, you have made the first step
1. Join a club,, something that you are interested in such as a sport, films, art, whatever . Not only will it make you feel like you are good at something, but it will also introduce you to people with similar interests.
2. Exercising always makes me feel good! It's the best feeling when you reach a new level and it can really put you in tune with your body And looking good is always a huge confidence boost!
3. Every day highlight at least one good thing about yourself, but dont think about the bad points!! Confidence in yourself doesn't make you cocky, it just shows you have self-awareness
To be honest, there would be no one who can help you but yourself. Even if we give you all the advice that you can do, none would work unless it would start from you. You first have to know what your insecurities are. You hate yourself because you do not like some things. Next know your strengths and capitalize on them. Build it so that you will be able to highlight them while you are still building on your weaknesses. Face your fears. No one could ever help you if you keep putting yourself down.
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How do I become confident?
Re: How do I become confident?
